Need Advice On Asking Brother To Move
5 Replies
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Hello,
I just want to congradulate all of you single moms on your pregnancy and wish you a healthy happy pregnancy and healthy happy baby. I had my son earlier this year and this site was a blessing and comfort during that time. I am a single parent and my xbf and broke things off for good during my pregnancy.
My brother, at the time was living with my mother. He is a good 30yo guy with 10 yo son and makes an ok salary, however, financially he isnt doing well because of numerious bills he acc_mulated and never paid. I offered to let him room with me. Since he moved in, its just been extremely stressful, particularily with his lifestyle of different overnight women and coming in at late hours. He works very hard and usually pays rent on time. I much prefer to have my weekends quiet with as less visitors as possible and he goes out a lot and comes home various times throughout the night. My son is an infant but it really bothers me and I dont want him seeing these things because I know subconciously kids learn things. I want to ask my brother to move but I dont want him to be mad at me. Is there anyway I can break this to him so he would understand. I know this is a little off the subject but any advice you can give would be helpful.
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I would tell him you will help him financially for the next couple of months until he gets back on his feet (Rent extra money etc.). As far as breaking the news.... That's a hard one. Just tell him how you feel. That you are trying to be patient. That you know he is a good guy and you want to do all you can to help, but you need your space too. Hope all goes well!!
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Futuretwinmom, why on earth should she help him financially!!!!???? People make choices, for example he choses to spend money on going out drinking eating whatever. Sounds like he would rather prowl and bring random woman home then spend the evenings with his own son! Yuck. Anyway springbaby I am sure you love and care about him and asking him to leave because it is too stressful for you will only help him become a more considerate and responsible man and father. Although hard, you know it is the right thing to do. If you give him one month to move out, that is very fair on your behalf. Good luck and take care and focus on your baby's and your life!!!
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I said that because she she said he isn't doing well financially and she doesn't want him to be mad at her. I see your point that spending his money on drinking and going out is not right, but I was trying to imagine myself in his shoes and how I would react in the same situation.
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I think you should talk to him about the overnight random visitors...I think that is what is bothering you the most...as it should...Tell him you don't mind if he brings people over, but limit it to a few days...whatever days work best for you. explain that you prefer him to not bring several different vistiotrs all the time. Tell him if he continues to do so that he will have to find some where else to stay. Good Luck
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Have you talked to him about the things he is doing? If he stopped would you mind if he stayed? Do you need his help with the rent or other bills? All of these are question that need to be answered before you just throw him out. If you have let this go on but have never expressed your feelings about it, it just doesn't seem fair to just kick him out. JMO
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