Need Some Advice-pg122316306643
7 Replies
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I just found out that I am pregnant and am in a tough situation at the moment. I have always wanted children, but my bf of 4 years has made it clear that he does not.
The last pregnancy "scare" we had, he pretty much told me that if I kept the baby he would leave me and would pay child support. This time I am most definitely pregnant and he has barely said anything to me since finding out.
His belief is that women get pregnant to entrap men and that men end up getting ripped off by the child support system. He refuses to see that it takes two people to create a child. He is 36 and I am 34.
Over the years the relationship has gone downhill and he has become less and less supportive of me in just about all aspects of my life. I know I should end the relationship.
As the week has gone on, I am leaning more towards keeping the pregnancy and whatever happens with the relationship to just accept it. I am just extremely worried about the future, I know so many single mothers are able to get by just fine, but with my current financial situation I can barely take care of myself. This whole situation is causing me so much stress.
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I don't know that I am the best person to be giving advice but I do know that it's your body and ultimately your decision. If the only reason you wouldn't keep the child is for his sake I say screw him. It doesn't seem like the relationship would work anyways. I am 26, pregnant and doing it alone. I believe this will be the hardest thing I've ever done. I also believe that it will also be the most rewarding. No one in the world can tell you what the best thing for you is but I think you know in your heart what you want. You will make the right desision.
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Well that sucks. In any case it sounds like the relationship needs to end before it reaches a bitter finale! Are you near your parents or relatives or VERY good friends that can physically help you and give you emotional support...? Maybe if you are separated you and him can work some fair agreement out for the sake of your baby...maybe he will even come around and acutally be happy about it...Good luck and keep us posted!
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He sort of came around and we talked. He in one breath told me that he wanted some of the decision making if I had the baby and then told me that if I didn't like it then he would leave, get a lawyer, and make sure that I take care of the child on my own.
Then he said he would stay and we could raise the child together, but since he doesn't make much at his job (he makes more than me plus works overtime every week) that I can't expect him to buy stuff for the baby and if I ask he will tell me he doesn't have the money. I am not sure he can legally do either...leave me and get out of paying child support or stay with me and have no financial responsibility.
Either way, I am off to the Dr. next week for my first visit and to determine if this is a high-risk pregnancy in which my neurologist said it might be.
Other than that, my family support is limited. I do have a few friends who are being emotionally supportive at the time though.
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I am a young teenager but i do know right from wrong. And i think that well i actuallly know that you should keep the baby. Why i say that is because yes the baby does need a father figure but at the same time God will bless you at the end you know. But about your relationship with him it seems like you are on a higher level then him and i think that you should find someone that is on your level
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As soon as the baby is born go and file for child support. My daughters father and i are now engaged, living together, and expecting baby #2 and he still has to pay child support. I filed when my daughter was born bcuz our relationship was very rocky at the time. It will be taken out of his check until we're married.
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You should never let a man tell you what to do if u r pregnent for 1! if u feel u want to keep it, Then You do So!! And no matter if this guy gets the best laywer, no Judge will keep a mother away from there child!
As for your current financial situation, there is help any were for food etc.. also i garantee he will be giving you child support also.
And hey if he trully beleived that u were trying to entrap him. Y dident he wear a condom. This guy is a dogggggg lol i am going true the same thing all most. I promise you will be ok. Im not saying it will be easy but keep your head up girl! God blessed you . message me any time if you want to further talk im KD Canada
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I agree, he's full of poo, and selfish to bat! Fyi, the court's perspective is that the kid has a right to support from *both* biological parents, so if you keep the baby, he has to contribute financially. And its actually cheaper for a guy - if money's their main concern - to stay with the mama than to live separately and pay out child support. His threat of getting a lawyer to 'make sure that [you] take care of the child on [your] own' is more poo. There was a case where a woman gave a male friend a bj, then used a turkey baster to get pregnant with it, and later sued him for child support. He said "But she tricked me!" And the court told him to pay up - b/c the idea is, regardless of what she did (and how wrong it is), the kid shouldn't suffer for it. The parents can choose to abstain from s_x - but the kids are the only innocent ones. This incl. your little one. So don't be afraid to fight for his / her rights...
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