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I do not see how your child will confuse you (his mother and primary caregiver) with your ex's girlfriend...? Perhaps the first visits should take place in your home, then in his home with you present. Does he have 1/2 custody...? You say he wants to take care of his son during the day...? Is this just weekends? Doesn't he work? Anyway, try to avoid having a "serious issue" with your ex's new gf unless she is really a bad influence on your child and PLEASE try not to put your son in the middle you and your ex's unresolved issues. Good luck!!

Prior to this i he had no interest in seeing the child and to date has not helped me in his care. I really have no desire to deal with him at this point, let alone his new girlfriend.

You sound like you harbor much animosity. I do not know your story, but it would seem like in the best interest of your son to welcome your ex wanting to become part of his son's life. I would a__sume that at one point you loved this man and that you saw good qualities in him. Now it all seems to be clouded by your unfortunate situation. I can imagine you do not want to "deal" with him, but you BOTH made this child and it is up to you BOTH to try your best to work out some kind of amicable arrangement. Again good luck : ) !!

First off let me state that this is clearly just my opinion. In my eyes your harboring feelings for your ex. There is no way that your 4 month old child would confuse her for his mother just because he sleeps over or spends time there. That would be almost stating that another woman such as your mother could do the same. You need to set aside your anger and let him see his son, Because let me say it from first hand expierience. Your lucky he wants to be around at all. Your getting carried away with thinking that your child could confuse you... seriously. This is just what I think though. Good Luck with that. and remember that you have to set aside those feelings you might think aren't there toward your childs father. I'm a mother of 2 who had to do this in order to go along....

I guess I should state that regardless of my feelings. He has never made any real attempts to see his son. I have arranged for visitation and he doesnt show up.....doesnt call....doesnt write. I have been cooperative. To play this game becomes frustrating. At one point I wondered if it was for court or something but I dont know. So I am a__sumint that ultimately he just wont be there, but I will not continue to play this game of invisible visits. So what does that say.

Where does your worry that your ex's girlfriend will become your son's mother figure come from?!?!? If you say your ex has NEVER visited your son and has NEVER made a real attempt to see him then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

I can understand some of your concerns, and I sympathize with your situation. But to deny your child visitation with his father can only do more harm than good. And try not to worry about the new girlfriend - you are the baby's mother and that will not change. Period. I know things seem difficult, but you should try to step up and be the better person here - your son will greatly benefit in the long run. I wish you the best of luck! : )

Ummm..if you guys haven't read shes said she has set up visitation for the father but he doesn't show up. I can see her concerns and It is possible that the baby can mistake another women hes around to be his mother. Because if shes going to be saying things like my baby around him or i'm mommy she can confuse the baby. I know becuause it happened to my best friend. she let him back into her childs life because she thought it right, after 5 monthes of him not wanting anything. then suddenly wanted to have him overnight. Turns out his girlfriend had miscarried and wanted a child in her life. Confused the boy to the point where he thought she was his mother behind my friends back. so his first words to him was aunt.....not mommy. Anyway...I'm not saying ti will happen to her. But it could happen. And his behaiver is very suspicious. I know she has resentment towards the father but it seems to me she has made a chance for her boyfriend to see the child....its only natural that she feels this and that she is concerned. If her bf is acting very differently in teh ways of her son, she has every right to be gaurded and protecting her son. In my opinion....he isn't allowed to baby sit the child alone or overnight. He should be allowed only to see the child in your care, and onllly him. His gf isn't allowed, while you are there watching. I would keep it up for a while. If he wants to see his son. he will follow the rules until you are ready for him to let the child over night. In my opinon..tahst whats best.

first words to Her*