Not Single Yet But Feel Like It

6 Replies
nikol - December 30

I'm fourteen weeks pregnant and the father of the baby said he would be in it for the long haul but in the last few weeks I feel him slipping away. We barely see eachother anymore because he's out with his friends or working. There has been a few times where we've made plans and then he goes out with his friends anyways. He's been going out drinking more and more. One night someone tried to break in to my house while I was at home alone and I managed to scare him away but when I called my boyfriend because I was feeling scared he said " what am I supposed to do about it" and he went back to drinking with his friends. He totally freaks out and swears at me if I try to call or text him when he's out with the guys. He's been swearing alot at me lately and he's knows it hurts me but he says that I need to be taught a lesson and that's the only way he can do it. Instead of being extra sensative like most guys are when their women are pregnant he's the exact opposite. He wasn't like this before when I first told him about the baby and he was totally supportive but now he's causing me great emotional stress and I'm wondering if it would be better just to admit that it's not going to work out and leave him or wait it out in hopes things will get better?

 

Kimmie - December 30

I'm going through a somewhat similar situation and I wanted you to know that you're not alone. Everyone keeps telling me that once the baby's born I'll never be alone again so maybe that'll be of some comfort to you, too. Whether or not you're with the baby's father, just do what's best for your baby. If you're miserable, your child will see that so don't settle to be unhappy. I'm starting to see that while I hope my baby girl always has her dad in her life, maybe we'd be better off if we weren't in a relationship.

 

g - December 30

Try to talk to him when he's calm, but don't harp cuz he will just turn it on you. my ex is that way to. If i text or call he gets all b___hy wheather he's alone, with female/ males or at work. Where he works i can call without getting him into trouble (his cell anyway) But yes Kimmie is rite, my ex did the same to me and i put up with it for 3 or so minths him ditching me and going out. I was having even more stress then. o in your heart if he cant give you answers you will know what is best for you and your baby. It's hard cuz i'm not over my ex and i should me the way he treated/treats me but it takes time. To long!!!! Good luck

 

Bobbi - December 30

Hey Nikol, Im 13 weeks pregnant and Im going through pretty much the same situation, except my guy isnt mean to me. He just breaks plans and makes excuses. He told me a couple days ago that he's not happy with his life, and that even though he loves me, he can't be with me. So all I'm trying to do is focus on the baby now, even though it hurts. Im sorry to hear about your situation. I guess it's something a lot of us have to go through, but at least it's good to know we aren't alone:) As for your question, I knew my break up was coming, but I let it sit there until he did it, and I think that made it hurt more. I don't know for sure, but maybe your better off breaking it off with him, and if he decides to start being the guy you need, u could take it slow..hope that helps.

 

nikol - December 31

Thanks everyone for your support. Actually it just occurred to me today that my guy just might be cheating on me. That would explain alot about why he's been acting like such a jerk. Today I was looking at his blackberry and he snatched it away from me. He said he was expecting a text but I actually caught him erasing messages. Before he erased some I just happened to see that he had a few from a girl named amy but when he gave me the phone back to look at there were all of the sudden none from her. I confronted him about it and he said he didn't know what I was talking about. After a while of bugging him he finally admitted that he had erased the messages from amy. He said that he thought I would freak out about him messaging a girl which is complete bull sh** because he knows I've seen messages from girls before and it didn't bother me. He's hiding something and I'm going to find out what. He also has been sucking up big time today which suggests guilt. Why do women let men get away with all the bull sh** they put us through? I really can't understand it myself. Love is blind I guess.

 

g - December 31

Sorry that happened to you. Things can look weird even if they are not happpening. I had rented a motel and watched my ex (we were dating then) texting on his phone for about 2 min then he looked up and stared at me looking at him then all of a sudden text me to make it look like he was texting me the whole time! When i confronted him he said it was to me! I kept on him then he said it was to a girl that was only a friend to make sure she got home from a bar him and her and supossedly other coworkers were at! He never checked on me! Yeah he would keep his phone of and have a code to get into it. Now that we are broken up he leaves his phone on so i can hear his different women call and then he denies it! Yeah us women should dump the man the first time they cheat and maybe it will slow down. I though i guess am one of the stupid ones! Good luck to you.

 

Jamie - January 3

Don't put up with it. If he is hiding something he is doing something wrong. Wether it is cheating or not he is doing something. I was going through the same thing and found out that my bf wasn't cheating but he was doing drugs. He had a really bad drug problem and that is something else I did not want to deal with

 

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