Not Sure How To Handle The Father S Reaction
3 Replies
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I just found out that I was pregnant this weekend. The father is my now ex-boyfriend. We have been on and off for the last 3 years. I am the one who always broke it off with him for many reasons and I really hurt him. He is really upset at me for breaking up with him and we really ended things last week. I called him on Saturday to tell him and he only started getting upset at me for breaking up with him. He was saying that I wouldn't be alone if I hadn't broken up with him. He said he would come over the next day to try to discuss what we should do, but never showed up. I called him a few times and he never called back. I don't know what to do. I am so angry at his behavior right now and a part of me feels like I put myself in this situation. I don't know what to do and was wondering if anyone has any advice.
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give him time. to state the obvious, u didnt expect him to come at u w/open arms - he's been hurt by u too many times. not saying u were right or wrong to break up w/him - just saying. wouldn't be better if u hadn't broken up - if he's not right for you, he's not right, it would havecome up eventually (hence divorce rates these days). don't sweat that part/
if you guys were together for 3 yrs and both normal, there must be a friendship there somewhere you can tap into. not immediately, but eventually. if he's decent he'll be around. just be careful not to get his hopes up or eventually you'll drive him away - not good for friendship / coparenting and not good for baby.
give it time.
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If you always break it off and hurt him (your words) then of course he is not running back to you. Like gummibear said, hopefully there is some common ground you two can find and raise your baby together in a kind and caring way. After all that is the only and most important issue for you both at the moment. Try not to be angry. Good luck
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also, he has quite a bit running thru his mind most likely - if he wanted to be w/u forever and have kids w/u, he may be wondering if you're hormonal - on top of the usual 'to have or not have the baby' thought process.
for women its kind of simple in comparison - ultimately we decide to have or to not have the baby. unmarried men have zero say, legally. they know this. so for guys, all the possible scenarios run thru their heads - what they want (if they know) multipled by what they think you'll do or might do (if they know), magnified by their uncertainty (male fear) of a woman's pregnant hormones (b/c men as a whole are taught to fear a pregnant woman most), which affects their (otherwise possibly confident) prediction of what you'll do or might do. Add in the typical dose of fear of getting their feelings hurt - which results in their trying not to think about uncomfortable possible outcomes of this equation - and i'm not surprised he's not called back yet.
a__suming he's a normal guy, anyway. give it time dear.
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