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Hey everyone. I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there before I share my story that I am a 24 yr. old college student with a child that will be 3 in November. I was in a relationship with the father for just under 5 years. It was incredibly dysfunctional, "stay together for the kid" kind of relationship. He was abusive and very self-centered. It was incredibly empowering to finally have the guts to kick him the curb. Though we rarely get along, we have a "shared" custody agreement, but we have never involved the courts. I basically have her 90% of the time, he takes her every other weekend (just about) and an occasional week day here and there...
About 3 months ago, I met a really great guy and started dating him. He was the first person I was with since splitting from my ex. I was instantly attracted to him, he is a very honest, sincere man and felt very happy with him. Last month, we began being intimate. We were not responsible because I was not on birth control and we practiced the "pull-out" method.
My last period started on 8/5/10, and after I realized it was late... I took 5 pregnancy tests and they all came back positive. The physicians around here won't see you until you are at least 8 weeks, so I have not had a sonogram, but that put me at 6 weeks this past Thursday.
I have no idea what to do. Though I am in a relationship, I still consider myself a single mom, because my boyfriend does not live with my daughter and I. I am deathly afraid to get into another situation where we are basically forced together because we had a child... I cannot bare the heartbreak of another failed attempt at a family. I feel incredibly irresponsible for letting this happen, like it makes me a bad mother to my daughter. I'm currently a full time college student, seeking a degree in Secondary Education, and I serve tables at a local Pub. I by no means have the income to support 2 children and do not want to give up school again, because I do want to have a career I'm proud of and give my daughter a good life.
I do not know if I should go ahead with the pregancy or terminate. My boyfriend is wonderful with my daughter and children in general, but is also a college student. He will be graduating in December, but works in the group-home setting with developmentally disabled individuals- so he is also not the most financially stable individual. His parents are also incredibly conservative and we fear that this pregnancy could cause turmoil with his family. I know if I truly wanted to keep it, he would support me. But, I think based on the financial situation, the fact that I have a rocky relationship with my daughters father, we don't live together, we aren't married, and we've only been dating 3 months- I think he'd assume termination.
I really need some advice. I understand what abortion is. And, I also understand that I sound incredibly irresponsible. But, if we could keep insults to a minimum- I REALLY, DESPERATELY need advice!!!!
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