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Me and my boyfriend have been experiencing major problems and we have been off and on for the whole pregnancy. I am currrenty 5 and a half months. When I was about 2 or 2 and a half months i had protected s_x with two other men and he had s_x with two other women. I feel bad but the only reason i did it was because i was depressed and lonely cause we broke up and there was so many problems. Since then we have been off and on and we know about what we did to each other and he cant get over it although he says he loves me. He hits, pushes, and calls me names and one time he poured hot coffee all over me and he chokes me too. He says he feels bad after but keeps doing it. We are currently split up and for some reason i still love him and he knows i feel bad for the mistakes i made at the beginning of my pregnancy. He makes it seem like i am the only one who made mistakes and what he did was perfectly acceptable behavior. HELP!!
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All the advice in the world is only going to tell you what you already know. YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM! I know that you want help getting out but at the same time you are going to continue to make excuses about why you are staying. It is a bad situation for you but it is unexcepatable for a baby. PLEASE put your childs well being first. No it won't be easy, but how easy are things now!? You need to give that little one 100% and there is no way to do that is your always worried about when he'll flip out next, hit you, or what no good thing he may be up to. Seriously, if he is willing to treat you this way imagine what he will be like to a baby who won't stop crying or throws up on him. Im not saying he won't change I'm saying you can not afford to stick around to find out!!!! Please say good-bye for you and the babies sake!!!
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 | - September 9 |
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girl he DONT love u, if he loved u he would be kissing the ground u walk on, not pushing u on it. lose him and take care of the baby by urself
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dior, i do have an understanding of the situation you are in. my fiance and i havent cheated on each other, but we have gotten into physical fights, which sound similar to what you described. ive since learned that nothing anyone can tell me or advice that they may give can help me. ive since learned that you can only help yourself. the baby is more important to me than him or even myself now. and ive made a committment to my baby and myself to leave as soon as he dare lift a finger to me. you shouldnt be afraid to do so either. you will find love again.
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oh, and by the way.. it's not your fault and dont let the names he calls you affect your self-esteem. dont believe those things. he's wrong.
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| ? - September 22 |
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umm you need to one get rid of him and to put his a__s in jail for abuseing you and you baby!! like you might love him but love isnt always the answer to be with someone!!
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Dior.......say bye-bye to him. Start protecting your baby early and leave him before he causes harm to the baby. He's already caused enough harm to you. Hitting, slapping, pushing, pouring hot coffe and shoving is not in the category of loving. Girl BOUNCE!
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Abuse Councling.. look into it . It will all become really clear.. trust me I was there for 14 yrs.. never realised it was wrong till the councilers showed me in black and white . good luck. get out or your baby could become a victom or an abuser......Help yourself....your worth it...:) good luck.
an abuser is never wrong.. remember that.. in his eyes it will always be your fault.
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Hello Dior, Break this cycle, give your child and yourself a chance to live a safe life without emotional, physical, and verbal abuse. You need to decide to protect your child and forsake your feelings of your attachment to this "man", and I use that term loosely. You cannot make or expect him to change, but you do have control over your own choices and destiny. MAKE THE DIFFERENCE, BREAK THE CYCLE...
I speak from personal experience with abusers and feel concern for you and your baby!!! Please "LOVE YOURSELF", and respect yourself, for both YOU AND YOUR BABY. (your baby is relying on you to make the right choices and protect thiis precious little life) I promise you will START TO GET A SENSE OF SELF RESPECT with this decision...There is no reason you should not have a safe and fullfilling life, if you take control. If you do not make this decision I can promise you that your life will eventually be miserable and you will not want to live...Call the authorities if he ever touches you again, or threatens you (restraining order) it is inappropriate and illegal and certainly UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!! He is a weak man and using you to make himself feel strong, as sad as this is....
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It really sounds like this guy gets off on making you upset and then telling you he is sorry and making you feel like the bad person. I had to deal with the same thing and for 6 months of my pregnancy, there was never any abuse except verbal. But we both went to counciling and realized that he would feel bad for hurting me but he honestly believed that I was the one in the wrong because I was always taking him back and telling him everything was going to be okay. Any person who is willing to hit anyone, especially if they are pregnant needs to be put in jail. Its going to be extremly tough but honestly it doesnt sound like you really love him, I think you might just be scared to be alone. Just leave him, forget about him and if things were really meant to be, he will get help and maybe you guys can work something out for your child. another thing, if you both were able to get into bed with 2 other people, even if you were broke up, then I dont think what you guys have is "love". As many times as my bf and I broke up, we both could never imagine being with someone else especially on an intimate level. I think you should just take time away from him and devote your time to being stress free and relaxed for your baby.
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