Pregnant And Scared-pg111817913918
4 Replies
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What is the best way to explain to the father of my baby that I'm not going to have an abortion? He thinks that it is best for both of us and I just think its what he wants for himself. He's not a bad guy, he's just scared as well i think. ..I'm absolutely petrified to tell him that I 'm keeping it...any suggestions?
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Just try to be honest. let him know you are scared also. Do not go on the attack and tell him things like you just don't want be to have the baby because ..... You are not trying to start a fight, you are simply letting him know where you stand in rational terms. we as women think with emotions and the men simply don't think like us. They see a child, especially when unplanned, as money for eighteen years, being forced into fatherhood, a connection for life to the mother.... so they react in a manner that we find offensive. If you know he is good person give him time, he is dealing with the unexpected just as you are. he is going to deal with it differently than you, he is a man. Try to give him patience and have faith in him. understand he may not react positive to begin with , give him time and a chance to adjust. Time does heal do not create more fights and stress by trying to prove why your choice is the right choice. if anything let him know you are sorry if choice causes him pain, but it is the choice you feel you can live best. Let him know you did listen to how he feels and you do care, but again it is the best choice you can live with. It may take more time than you feel is fair, but if he is a good person time will heal. Have faith and patience.
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Thank you so much....i dont think anyone could have put it better, I really appreciate your wise words
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I'm sorry to say you cannot have it both ways. You expect him to calmly see it your way. My advice is to get it over with sooner than later. Allow him to get angry. If he goes off, simply say, "I am afraid too, but I don't want an abortion because . . ." Then let him know you've made up your mind. Tell him you two can discuss this further as long as he talks to you without anger. If he gets indignant, simply walk away quietly and without words. If needed, try again, and again, and again. Each time walking away if he shows lack of self control.
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Andrea, you are not alone with the problems you face in telling him. I am exactly in the same situation. My bf is not a bad guy either but unfortunately the shock of it all can make people act irrationally or with only their own interests at heart. My bf is scared that history will repeat itself as he has kids from a previously relationship and it got rather messy. This is a wonderful gift you have so this will make you strong enough to deal with anything.
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