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Hello. Im pregnant by a married man. I know i made mistake but its too late to complain. Im happy. Im 31 and i thought that i will never have a baby. Baby's dad told me that he will help me but few days ago he sent me message that it was my choice and he never wanted to be dad so i shouldnt expect too much. At the beginning he wanted me to have termination but i couldnt...its like a miracle and for me it was a baby since the begining. His wife doesnt know. Nobody knows who is dad. I was seeing him since august last year. I notice in January that im pregnant. He still was comming and we were very close all the time. But few days ago i asked if he made any decisions about the baby...and support for him or her. He and his wife dont have children. He never wanted to have. Im working and waiting for a council flat. I know i will get some benefits when i will be a single mum, but i would like him to take some responsibility as well. I dont want too much but its my mistake and his. He made choice when he start to call me and wanted to see me. I made choice as well to agree. I dont complain but i dont really know if i should ask him for help? I would like him to give name for the baby beceause its not baby's fault that parents made suche a mistake but im confused...could you give me any advice, please?
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If you are going to have a child, you are at the right age, father committed or no. A live sperm donor is more fun than a tube in the frig. I would not even count it a mistake. Don't push for him to be closely involved. Let that work out in due course. If you play it right he will realize you are part of his genetic destiny. If you are presently friends with the wife, you could choose to play dumb on who is the father, and continue to be part of their circle - not conventional advice, I know, but stranger things have happened. Good luck!
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Thank you. I know her but we are not like friends. She is ok. I dont want to destroy their marriage. I know i wasnt first and probably not the last. Im trying to be calm. I dont contact him im waiting till he will do it. I dont go to see our friends since i know im pregnant. I dont want people to know who is dad. Im upset but i think when the baby will be here and he still wouldnt like to help me i will apply to CSA. Its my first baby and im alone here. My family lives far away and i ve got good friends but sometimes its hard to get up every day, go to work and smile when i think about him and baby and that i will be on my own and he doesnt care. He is not such a person. He is good and i cant believe that he can desert me and baby. But im really scared.
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Since you both knowing conceived this child it is ridiculous for you to apply for aid. The two of you should take full responsibility for this baby, not taxpayers.
What do you plan to tell this child when he/she is old enough to ask, "Who's my daddy?".
Stop the irresponsibilty now, it is not fair to a child. Own up to your actions and set an example!
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For heaven's sake keep your circle of friends - a friend is someone who is willing to stand by you in a time of need. Without friends you will become depressed. Make up some story like you had a one night stand and you decided at your age you should keep it.
I guess you are East European now living in England, which puts you far from your childhood contacts. Be happy, live one day at a time, and see what fortune life will bring you. The baby will be the joy of your life. Good luck!
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Yesterday we had argument he told me that im threatening him, but i told him that its not like that. I dont want damadge everything but i think he talks with me and says nice things only because he is worry that i will tell somebody but he doesnt want to help me. He is English im not but ive been here over 3 years. I ve got good job and i like it and i would like to come back as soon as possible but i will not be easy. I ve got friends here but its not the same like family. I think about moving away to my brother or back home but im sure that if i will do it he will not help me at all.
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Seems to me you should stay put, have the baby in England, and if things don't work out you can then go back to your childhood haunts. My suggestion is to avoid discussion of support - just say "don't worry about it - I'll work things out". Encourage him to keep visiting, watch and feel the growth and delivery of the baby - he may grow attached to it. It's not the first time a man has had a mistress and a child on the side.
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Hi Cindy,
Hope you don't mind me responding. But for a story in a wellknown magazine for parents in Holland (Europe) I'm currently looking for a woman that is pregnant or has had a child with a married man and I was wondering if you would be willing to share your story? You can contact me thru lmvanleeuwen at hotmail dot com. Hope to hear from you!
Lotti
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If you are single and pregnant, you don't have to be! Check out my profile for Facebook page information on finding a man that will love and adore you during and after your pregnancy, or search 'pregnant and single' in Facebook. I have even established a Yahoo group called 'PREGNANTNSINGLENLA' to put single pregnant women together with men who possess a strong s_xual fetish for pregnant woman. So, if you're still pregnant and single, that is purely your choice as you don't have to be.
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