Pregnant With Mixed Child And Racist Parents
8 Replies
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I am 23 years old, a recent college graduate with two degrees and approximately 8 - 12 weeks pregnant. The father is an African American male I have dated for the past 2 1/2 years. A month ago, we broke off our relationship. After the breakup, I found out I was pregnant. The father, who already has a 3 year old child, is not established and financially capable of raising a child. The problem is: Throughout college, my parents significantly helped me financially with rent, bills, etc. I had planned to move back home in my parent's house until I was set up with a good job. Now that I am pregnant, I do not know how my parent's will react to the situation. I would stay where I am with the father of my child but him and I are not financially capable of that right now. My parent's are very racist and refuse to talk and/or consider interracial dating. We have gotten into arguments about the topic in the past. I want to keep my baby but right now I need help because I am not established yet I don't want the stress and anger from my parents. I'm very confused. Any advice?
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read the post black and white with white baby.. that may or may have something to help you.
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MOST, not all, racists tend to change their tune a bit when a baby is involved. Hopefully your parents are of the less closed minded variety and LOVE YOU more than they HATE an entire group of people mostly unknown to them.
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don't stress it stay where ur at maybe ur guy well get his things together if not , u can do it , look in to community centers where they can help u w/ housing parenting and food, ur parents will eventually come arnd. just stay focused u don't have to tell ur parents right away, establish ur self and when u feel comfortable let them know of ur decision. good luck
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anonymous - every race and background can become pregnant out of wedlock. It does not take a certain educational level to not become involved in a unplanned pregnancy. When it comes to your children you find a way to always provide, just as your parents have done. If you have the educational background finding a good job with benefits should not be a problem, in the meantime there are plenty of places that a__sist. As for your parents and their views, they are ent_tled to feel what they feel, however you and your parents can not use it as a control factor. Love is unconditional. My father has always had issues when it came to the black race. When I had my son he said absolutly nothing and to this day has not made any comments of a negative nature. I was shocked and expected the worst, but he told my mother I already had a lot to deal with and just needed support. Remember love is unconditional. It may take time and they be mad during the pregnancy, but a child is a child of God regardless of race. Support your choices that you made 2 1/2 years ago and that was to see a man for who he was and not a color. You can not live for someone else and by what they have judgement on. Your child will be beautiful. as for the father, how much money he does or does not have does not determine what type of parent he will be. providing is important but money alone does not define parenting skills. Everything will work out. Be patient and have faith, there will always be those who oppose. Stay true to you!
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JACK - there are some statistics that do betray the black man to be lacking family values and of a lower educational level, but that is not always the case. She never said he did not work and she never said he left her pregnant, they were already broken up. Her meaning of financially stable may be based on her upbringing and her families money, you Jack may not even meet her criteriafor financially stable. Second and more important it is easy to stero type by grouping a race as a whole, but if you read post after post it is not just the black man. Women in the US, CN, and so on are facing situations of men not being responsible. Women are being left for other women during preg., they speak of drugs, no jobs, staying out all night...... the list goes on. This is happening to many women by men of all races. Read the postings, statistics do not always reflect what is truly out there. Many times there are unreported out of wedlock pregnancies that stats do not disclose. Become educated and realize all walks of life have bad. And lastly, she was never looking for sympathy, just advice.
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right now u have to choose between your parent's love or your baby's life..which one are you going to choose? do whatever u have to my dear, there are shelters that will house u and a__sist u in getting permanent housing..whatever decision u make remember U HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT!!!!
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Hey I know how scared you can be. did you ever tell your parents? How did they take it? I hope everything goes well for you. It will be hard, but since you're finished with school it will be a little easier. than when you were in school. You'll be a good mother. Did your parents know about your boyfriend? You will be a good mother. I say this because you are worried. I know it sounds strange, but you sound like you know where you were headed don't let the baby stop you. But remember the baby is always going to be with you from now on. If your parents don't want to help you, you can still get stuff through the government to help you.
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I have a brown baby (she's 5 now). I'm not married and I live in the south.
I love mychild more than anything. I wouldn't give her up for anyting and I haven't had any regrets.
God gave her to me and she is a real blessing in my life.
Dont stress over this. It'll all work itself out. Maybe your parents will fall in love with your child and the child will teach them that it's not about the color but about what's inside.
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