SINGLE PARTETS PLEASE TAKE THIS ADVICE

6 Replies
Zz - July 23

This is very important. PLEASE take my advice or you could end up in the same situation as I am in. I was 20 when I gave birth to my daughter. Her father and I could not work things out so when she was 6 weeks old I left him and moved to another state where I had family. I needed help and got on welfare for a while. They told me I needed to get a PARENTING PLAN. My ex and I decided to keep things civil between us. I never filed for child support and he gave me money when he could. I never told him he couldn't see his child, but instead made every effort to get him over to us and a place to stay so he could see her as often as possable. (which in three years only amounted to 4 times.) He was not really a part of her life except on her first and second birthdays, one thanksgiving and once after a chistmas holiday. Although he was never NON-existant completly, he never showed any enthusiasm to be her dad. I was a single parent for three years. A month after her third birthday him and his mom came to visit. They convinced me to let them take her to the state where they lived for two weeks to meet his family. Because his mom was with him I agreed. When they got there they filed for a parenting plan, which for no other reasion than that I didn't have one it got granted. But not only that but he and his mom both wrote pages and pages of horrable things about me, about what a horrable mom I had been. They certanly were not true and 99% of what they said can be proved to be not true! How they went about it is even illeagle!!! They lied about how long they had her and said that I abandoned her. I can not afford an attorney and I have looked into every possable leagle aid service with no help so far. Someday I am confadient I will get her back, but it has been a very long hard struggle. It has been almost 2 years now. She will be 5 in a month. This is killing me. So PLEASE!!! I don't care how welll you and your ex get along, or how much you agree to keep it out of court and on civil terms....GET A PARENTING PLAN!!! So this never happens to any of you. Please.

 

kim - July 23

That's horrible, I am so sorry for you. What state do youlive in because i've never even heard of a" parenting plan". My situation is a bit different....my ex-husband and i share custody of our three daughters. We just had a son out of wed-lock and everything was fine until the baby was 2 months old, my ex now refuses to see our son if i am with him.....so he has not been with his son for more than a few minutes at each time when i have my daughters bring the baby in to see their dad when i pick them up from his place . He said he is taking me to court to get our son 3.5 days a week(like he has our daughters ) regadless of the fact that i am nursing . Right now we are going to court on 7/27 to prove paternity . *unfortunately he is the father !!!!!! He pays NO child support since he claims he is disabled . i also have been trying to get welfare because i am currently not working to take care of my son, who is 4 months old. I don't know how you have survived without your daughter. I will pray for you Zz . Does the rotten b___d let you see or talk to her ? I know when you move out of state the courts look at that as if you are trying to keep the father away from the baby. Good luck .

 

April - July 24

Yep... that actually happens more than you think it would. That's why you should ALWAYS get custody established before you let the other parent take your child ANYWHERE. Because legally they CAN take your child and not give him/her back because no one has physical custody of the child. So yes, get a parenting plan. Even if you just write up a visitation schedule and have it signed by a judge.. I believe that's good enough. and Zz... don't you have an attorney?? you should've fought this the second they took her.

 

janet - August 3

If I were you I would just walk into his house with a nice big big black guy and take my daughter back.

 

eye rolling - August 4

at that last post

 

A - August 10

"Possession is 9/10ths of the law" I left my sons father when he was about 3 months old and i hired a lawyer, and he told me that until we go to court, DO NOT let them (fathers family) take our son out of my house.

 

colleen - August 12

Talk to a social worker in your county and take with you any doc_ments that have your childs name on them and a date (doctors visits, ANYTHING). Then call your ex and let him know you have a lawyer and are presuing the matter (better yet have a friend call and say they are your lawyer). Go to the hospital and get any and all doc_mentation with your name on it and your childs. Call local lawyers and ask if they can help or refer you to free attorneys. There is no way what he is doing is legal and without paying child support and no proof of raising the child for the first 3 years he will have a difficult case and you may even be able to get him for kidnapping. Biggest thing, do not wait. The longer he has the child, the harder it will be.

 

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