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Youll be surprised how strong you become when you have your baby. You will survive. As for having no affection from a man, you dont need a man for support, if you have family and friends around im sure theyll be happy to help and give you a hug, but dont forget you will have someone to give you a hug whenever you want or need one.. your baby. Your baby will be someone who will never put you done or desert you. He/she will have unconditional love for you as you will have for it. Be strong

!!!: Thanks for your words. I haven't ever posted a message before, but I was surprised just how comforting it is to hear words of wisdom from other women who understand. Your right, I should focus on my baby and how much love and joy I will have in my life. Gratefully yours..

Being a single parent is the hardest and most stressful thing I have ever had to go through....but it is also the most rewarding. I was only 20. I didn't have a clue. There were nights where she would scream all night long and I couldn't get her to stop where I just wanted to pull my hair out. The only thing I could do was to sit down and hold her in my arm and just cry with her. Or when she was sick and and miserable and I couldn't do anything to make her feel better it made me feel as miserable as her. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. I had people always telling me I was "doing something wrong" according to them. I didn't have the greatest parents so I couldn't really parent my child the way that I was. I was lost. I spent alot of time being resentful, of her father mostly, because he still got to do whatever he wanted to do when he wanted to and never bothered to help us out. But every time my baby looked up at me and smiled her eyes sparkled and my heart just filled with joy. I just took it one day at a time. And for all the crazy hectic chaotic moment 100 great exciting and amazing ones are right there too. My child and I have an amazming bond. And nothing, NOTHING could have prepared me for the love and admeration that I feel for my daughter, or replace it. It's scary and it's harder than hell, but it's all worth it. I have always been scared that maybe she would resent me later for her father not being there, but I knew that she was ok with just me the first time she ran from accross the room, threw her arm around my neck, and told me that I was the "BEST MOMMY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD." and that she was "SO HAPPY THAT I AM HER MOMMY AND NO ONE ELSE."

Dear Dawn, That is so beautiful! Being reminded of that bond and love is so comforting. It will probably be the only thing that keeps me going. Thankyou for being honest about your experiences. Those endless nights and times of exhaustion are what I am fearing the most. I guess that nobody is born a mother, whether your single or not. But being single makes it that much harder. Your story gives me encouragement. I can identify with the resent you felt for the father, as I am already feeling that for him and the baby still has a long way to come. Just being pregnant on my own is bad enough. He gets to live life in a self-serving way and then reap the glory of being 'daddy' whenever he decides to come back to the country. Its infuriating. But as you said, it will be me that my baby loves and knows as home. He will have to live with the fact that he is a basic stranger to our child.

hey ladies, i agree with u all that that what dawn said was a great thing to hear. little things like that really do help. and for the resentment of the father, well i feel ya there. and to SJC, i am almost 9 months preg, due in sept with a wonderfull baby boy, but the thing about going through the pregnancy alone, its hard, so hard, knowing that everytime u have a doc appt, ultrasound, lamaz cla__s that u will be there alone, but it doesnt matter, cause when u have that baby nothing will matter, u will have each other. and i look at it this way. if the father leaves then he is so not worthy of ur beautifull baby, u r!!!! the father will just be a stranger, and i do belive it when people say that anyone can be a sperm donner, or be the "DAD" but not everyman can be a father!!! but it doesnt matter, i know that i will have a very hard time, even more cause i have no family here, no friends, im in the military stationed over seas, and i really am all alone. but in a couple weeks, for the rest of my life i will have something so precious, something so special that that is the only thing that will matter. and to the father who left, well thats all on him, cause hes the one missing out on a miricle thats all yours. ur baby would be better off probably not knowing him. but i do wish u the best of luck with ur baby, and congrates. also i respect you fully for makeing the desicion to keep ur baby!!!!

to all: Im sorry to hear that you are all alone and overseas and pregnant! I feel for your situation, being in the military must be very hard on single mothers. But congrats on your baby! He must be due any day now. You sound like a very strong woman and I'm sure everything will be totally blissful when your son arrives. Do you have maternity leave in the military? I guess you would have to.. are you planning on leaving your work now? I know what you mean about how lonely it can be going to all of the doctors appointments without a partner. My grandmother came with me to my first ultrasound, which was nice. What I hate is telling poeple that I am pregnant and wondering if they are looking at my wedding finger to see that I am single! I have been checking pregnant women's fingers out in public, and I haven't seen one pregnant woman without a wedding ring 8( It makes me feel really bad. It wasn't as if I planned it this way.

SJC, i am also 8 weeks preg, whats worse for me is that the father of the child wanted me to abort, i refused and he definately wants nothing to do with the child. i have been going to the Drs alone and i also do the same i check pregnant women's fingures, most of them are married but you know what, that should not bother us. Life turns out differently for each one of us, we only have to be strong for the little ones we are carrying and move on. I understand its lonely, i have not even told my parents, i only told a few close friends and they have been supportive plus ladies on this chat. WE WILL MAKE IT>

Trin: Congratulations on your pregnancy and for deciding to keep you baby! I'm sorry to hear that you have not told your parents - would they not understand? Having family support has been one of the only things keeping me going. Im 11 weeks now and almost past the 'danger point' as they say. I visited a second cousin yesterday who has a beautiful 8 week old baby girl. She is 35 and married in a million dollar house.. I thought I would be really jealous when I went to visit her, but instead I was just overwhelmed by the wonder of having a baby in the home to look after! My fears are subsiding, though not really lonelyness. I recommend any single mums out there who are feeling unsure about weather they should or can do this, to spend some time with a friend's or family member's newborn if possible. It really puts everything in perspective. Or watch Dr. Phil! How many times has he said that children grow up much more well-rounded in a home with one grounded and happy parent than in a home with two parents who are unhappy or fighting.

to all, i was a single mum 21years ago, and coming from a small village in england wasn`t to great, with the stares and whispering but you no what , that all out weighed what the rest of my life brought me. I remember having an older woman ask me if my babys father would`nt marry me !!! can you imagine ... this women didn`t no me from the next person , but i very calmly turned and smiled at her and said well, he was extremly violent and put me in hospital twice while i was pregnant with my daughter , i couldn`t be bothered to wait and see the look on her face i just remember the silence. i will be honest it wasn`t easy being on my own , but both my baby and myself were safe, i also used to look to see who was wearing a wedding ring, but for me back then everyone was! i used to find it the hardest at weekends when you would see the familys going out in there cars to go to the seaside or whatever, but you`ll be amazed at how many married women actually envied me (can you believe it) because i could get up and go with my daughter when ever i wanted , i didn`t have to be home at a certain time to get a meal ready, it was just us two and we did what we wanted, and i found that slowly i was very independent , and really just wanted a man as a friend.....i did eventually get married , but not untill 5 years later .... but thats another story.... love and best wishes to you both, take care of each other xxx

Ladies, i got alot of comfort from reading all your stories.. like the rest of you I'm pregnant (7 weeks) and the accidental situation made my boyfriend of 5 months review are relationship! he left on sunday 5 days after hearing that i was pregnant and after I refuse to abort the baby!!!! I am sooo scared, i'm 34 and i would say i'm a strong char.. but i feel like a lost lamb.. anyway the father and i are talking.. in my heart i am hoping we can resolve this (actually going for dinner tonight) although he told me on monday he didn't feel in his heart i was the girl for him... I'm not sleeping so well at the moment and feel guilty that i'm affecting my baby.. It's so hard to know what to do... especially when the old hormones are playing tricks on us!!!! i am sending you all hugs... as i know that's the one thing i need right now.....

iam also a single mum. iam having my third. i was with the father when i had my first two and then things went bad after that.iam very happy to say tho that we get along very well now, he has the kids twice a week which gives me the perfect break.iam very happy being a single mother and dont regret a single thing!

diane: I read your post a few days ago and haven't been able to get some of the things you mentioned out of my mind! I had never thought of married women being jealous of us single mums, but after speaking to a girlfriend who is still with the father of her baby, she totally agreed with you! She said that she has that much more stress worrying about her boyfriend's moods, meals and moron mentality! And that she wishes that she could raise he son the way that she wants to, without conflicting childbearing beliefs. Your words have given me comfort, especially that 'it was just the two of us and we did what we wanted'... I'm can't help picturing the Gilmore Girls! Congratulations on your marriage, I glad to knnow that there is still hope that we can find that right man for us and baby somewhere down the track.. x

sorry about the typos, it's quite late here and mummy-to-be can't keep her eyes open!

I just wanted to make a comment about the "wedding ring" check. I used to work in a silver jewelry store and alot of those bands you see are not real. Alot of single expecting mother's and single moms come in and buy a silver band or a cubic zerconia diamond ring to wear while they are pregnant...probably because of the same feelings that some of you are having...I am not saying that you should get a "fake" wedding ring...I just wanted you to know that a lot of those ladies are single too....Good Luck to all of you....I do not have any children, but I do work with pregnant women in my job and all of your fears are very common...have a wonderful day!

Hi all! I'm 32 weeks pregnant now and I'm going to be a single mum too. Reading everyone's kind words have really inspired me. It is really nice to know that I'm not the only one in this situation. Like you SJC, I had known my bubby's dad for many years, but we weren't in a "real" relationship. When I found out I was pregnant he didn't want anything to do with us and even though we still talk he is in denial about the whole situation. I know what you mean about going to appts by yourself or with family members rather then with a husband. I live in a small country town and started my birthing cla__ses last week. I took my very supportive mum along, but it was a little weird because all the other mums were with partners. Oh well - one piece of advice I was given early on is to let what people say not worry you (which I know sometimes is really hard). I am lucky also because I have heaps of support from family and friends. I didn't realise how great they all were until this happened. I am sure our bub's will grow up just fine with plenty of love - which is the main thing. Good luck with everything and remember to stay strong, happy and healthy.