Scared And Confused-pg115419093018
3 Replies
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I have 2 girls (12 and 8) from previous marriage. Was with my ex boyfriend for a year which i was convinced (and still am) that he is the love of my life. We split last year and i was devastated. However, about 5 months ago we started seeing each other again causually (bout once a week for mind blowing s_x). Had an accident with a condom one night which resulted in me becoming pregnant. At first he was like 'no way' etc. After a few days he accepted the fact I wasnt going to terminate and that it was indeed his baby. He told me that he could never desert his own child and that he will provide for the baby although does not have strong enough feelings for me to make a go of things. Between 5 and 7 wks i was bleeding and had to have an internal US which showed baby was fine. He begged me to show him the pic. Telling me our baby will have the best of everything, but he just cant be with me. Says he feels trapped and under pressure and to leave him alone just now. Im 8 weeks now and havent spoken to him for a week. Friends say to leave him be. He has told my friend he wants to be at all my scans etc but doesnt want me. I feel so sad that this happening and need some advice.
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I'm sorry about your situation, but the fact is, is that you can't make him be with you. Give him his space like he wants...and let him be involved in the pregnancy. I think that is awesome that he wants to step up to the plate and be involved even though you two aren't together. Most men would run.Try to focus on you and the health of your baby and surround yourself with friend's and family. I know it must be tough not being able to have the thing you want and love the most at this point.You said he feels pressured and trapped. Maybe if you keep your distance and keep quiet on the subject of being a couple..he will come around and his feelings will change. He is going through alot right now, like you, and probably needs time to think. Thats the best advice I can give you sweetie. Take care
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Thanks for replying Melissa. I know that giving him space is the only thing I can do. the reason we havent spoken for a week is because after the scan and hearing his excitement over the picture made me ask him the 'what about us?' question. Which has only made him ignore me. My friend called him and he made it clear he didnt want to be with me, it wasnt planned but that he would indeed provide for his baby. It sounded like he had thought about it carefully even saying how ignorant he will feel collecting his own baby and not taking my other 2. He told my friend I can text about the baby but ive not to ask anything about us. And that im only 7 weeks pregnant its not as if hes a daddy yet! So i figured I do have friends and a loving family to talk to right now. If he cant pick up the phone to check up on me then i wont be sending any updates when they are not asked for. Its just so hard to think straight at this hormal stage isnt it? So yeah im keeping quiet for a while. I wont let him think im weak and need him. Hopefully things can turn around for the better. Children do need fathers.
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You dont need him girl, he just needs to be there for the baby. You will find a wonderful man one day who loves you and loves your kids and you won't think of him anymore. Good thinking about not volunteering information to him. If he wants to know, he'll ask. Be strong and take care of yourself!...=)
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