Single Mothers And Finding A Relationship After

8 Replies
AG - November 9

I feel like becoming a single mother means I'm giving up on my dream of finding a partner and having a baby together. I always thought this would be something I would do with someone else. Does having a baby alone mean you have to give up on your dream for yourself?

 

Anne - November 9

Your dreams should be focussed on something you can control for yourself. Like being a good parent, having a fullfilling career, buying a home etc. Having a relationship should not be your "dream" or "goal". When you quit looking, one will find you. You'll find joy in your child.

 

dew - November 9

I know exactly how you feel. I too am preparing to be a single mom. I'm only 24 years old and have my entire life ahead of me. I agree whith Anne when she says you'll find joy in your child. You probably already have, just being pregnant brings unbelievable joy. However, I also feel that finding love can be a dream. Although I believe I won't have as many options as I would had I not gotten pregnant, and I know I will have to be much more careful about who I choose to put my time and energy into (not to mention who I let around my child). I do believe that love will come in due time. So my advise to you is to take good care of your child (as I'm sure you will do), and be patient. Remember that "good things come to those who wait". And the person that you are meant to be with will love you and your child, that's what will make them so special. Good luck and take care.

 

Alisha - November 12

Think of all the love you will have for your child. It's a new wonderful kind of love. It's better than loving a man. Men come and they go, but your child will always be your child. Your child will love you with a kind of devotion that no man can ever replace. Having a child helped me understand love much more fully. I'm single and not in a relationship. I'm 25 and don't really care. I just adore spending time with my daughter, teaching her, loving her, and caring for her. If some man comes along in the mean time then GREAT!, but realistically I only have a certain amount of time I can be with my child and I have the next 60 years to find and fall in love. Love isn't reserved for youth. Men and women fall in love at any age.

 

ss - November 13

sometimes i think about that. And then i remind myself how my heart will be filled with so much love for my son that i dont know if i can fit love for someone else in there. Seriously.My heart is already past its brim of love between my family and my son...i dont know how i do it. I have always dreamed that i would be doing this the "right way" Instead of being 19 and just beginning my life. But im loving every minute of it...and im glad that i am single right now so that i can put myself in the right place and be able to just worry about my son and all the silly little things that come with the territory. Things will fall into to place as they should be....so i wouldnt be to worried about a relationship because if its meant to be than it will be...if not...than your heart will be so filled with love for your child you wont even notice. Thats what i believe. Good luck and take care.

 

Kristin - November 19

I am 24 years old and just over 37 weeks pregnant, and single. The whole first half of the pregnancy I cried all the time. I guess I had this fairy tale life planned out and was sooo disappointed it didn't work out that way. And all I could think of was who is going to want me now and I was so desparately in search for a man. As time progressed I was I guess getting used to it and was fine being single. My love was growing unconditionally for my unborn baby boy. Now I'm so focused on him I don't even want a man. He fills so much of my heart that I don't know if I even have any left for a boyfriend lol. I actually do have a guy that is interested and he is awesome about it. Would love to be there when the baby is born and even said he could see us getting married in the future.. I just don't know about it. So good guys are out there. I guess you just have to be content with what you have.

 

AG - November 19

Anne, that is pretty close to how i feel too, like I'm giving up my dream of a picture perfect life. But I am only 7 weeks pregnant right now so it's hard for me to connect. I'm hoping as it moves along I feel the way you do. Thanks for the encouragement

 

Kelly - November 23

I am single and now have a beautiful 5 year old boy whom I have raised on my own. I spent those 5 years focused on him and now a wonderful man has come into my life allowing me to live out those dreams of an actual family and still have a great role model for my son! I couldn't feel more blessed! So, yes, there is hope of having that dream come true!!

 

jennifer - November 26

I'm 24 weeks along and I am also alone. It's terrifieing to think that I might be alone for the rest of my life. My mom says that my unborn daghter will fill that big hole in my heart. I'm in the military and far away from home and alone. I hope that some day I'll find someone to love the both of us. Until then I know I have to be strong for her.

 

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