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I don't know where you live but in the state of california single women can do this. my best friend's aunt was artificially inseminated and her daughter was born back in 1979. she was single and had never been married...

My best friend is 34 and is single. She is very successful in her career, but has just not found the right man. Last year she decided to get artificially inseminated. I went with her throughout the entire process. I must admit, the sperm bank that she visited (we are in chicago) was very professional. They literally have catalogs that give all information about the donor including all family history, and they never once made any comment about her being single. It took 2 times for her to get pregnant. She now has a gorgeous little girl and she is an amazing mother. I realize this is a tough decision, and my friend had to deal with many family members who were against her decision. After she had the baby, her family was there to help her. All worked out for the best. The power of a woman's biological clock is amazing. If you feel that this is the way you want to go, then do it. Follow your heart regardless of what anyone tells you. I wish you the best of luck and hope to see you on the first trimester board soon!

Thank you both for your responses :-) That makes me feel much better to hear positive things! This is just something that I've wanted to get all the info on up front and know it is an option if it comes to that. I've had several miscarriages with my long term partner and I'm really starting to feel it is an issue on his end through all of the testing we have had done. It seems he's back on for doing this thing but I know there are issues we need to work on and I've fully informed him that if he's not game at some point soon I'll go the AI route. He of course isn't real happy with that idea, but at least he knows I'm deadly serious about it! LOL :-)

I do have an addendum to add....based on info I was just made privvy to regarding the child mentioned in my post born of artificial insemination. The girl I mentioned before is now 28 and she HATES the fact that her mother had the insemination done...effectively cutting the girl off from 50% of her family and heritage. She apparently harbors huge resentment over it. Just something to keep in mind for anyone considering artificial insemination with no father figure in the picture

Stefkay, you have plenty of time to choose a good man who would be a good father. Don't be so rushed. You indicated you "don't want to go out in search of a new relationship just to find a father for my children. That would be disastrous." How disastorous would it be to have to raise a child by yourself. And furthermore, don't you consider a child without a father a disaster? The ideal is not raising a child as "a single" although from death and divorce that sadly happens. It's not ideal for the child's sake and not really something we as a society should be seeking. You are only 32, hardly over the hill. I speak from experience. At 37 I woke up one day and realized I wanted children. I was with a man at that point for 5 years who said he wanted children when we met. When I told him I was considering children he then said he wasn't sure he wanted them. It was a great relationship outside of that issue. None the less I realized that when I would be an old woman I would be angry and lonely. I left this man (at Christmas time) not knowing if I would find someone before my fertility clock went off. I did find someone and didn't settle. I was choosey! I was selecting not just someone for a Friday night but for a lifetime who would make a good father and husband. I considered both of these things and not just myself. I am now happily pregnant and will deliver in December of this year. Demand more for yourself and you will find it. Some guy who wants to just live with you and not provide you with a stable home but is willing to sleep with you is not a good father figure. And just so you know, I'm not a religious conservative nut, actually I'm non religious but have watched a lot of people make mistakes and live to regret them. Raising a child alone is not the way to go. It's way harder than you can imagine. You're only 32. You've got time.

Hi Stefkay. I am 32 and currently single and pregnant BY CHOICE. I used donor sperm and had IUI. It was a very serious decision that I did not take lightly. I thought about it and researched it for many years before I went ahead and did it. I have chosen to use an "open ID" donor so that if my child chooses, when he/she turns 18, he/she can find out the name of the donor - then go from there. I plan on being very open with my child about the whole process, and more importantnly how much I loved them even before they were born and was ready to have them in my life. I think if you are serious, and have the love to give, are secure financially and emotionally, and have a support system, then it is an option. Do some more research to make sure this is the route you want to go down. There is a good book called "Single Mothers by Choice". Hope it all works out for you. Smiles, T

P.S. In terms of children without a father being a disaster, I have seen many children with 2 parent homes, who come from disasters. It's not the number of parents a child has, but the amount of love that is being shared. Don't make this decision lightly, or for the wrong reasons though. Smiles, T

One last thing - I have not given up on finding the perfect person to share my life with - I just wasn't willing to settle for someone who wasn't perfect for me or my future children. He will come into my life one day, and will love my child(ren) just as much. Single parenthood IS challenging, but there are amazing single parents out there too!

Thank you girls! Like I said, I don't really know that this is even anything I would ever do--I just am researching my options and wanting to see what others have experienced. Believe me, I've discussed this with many people in my life and thought about all the pros and cons. I dont think there is any one way it could turn out 100%, that's life I suppose :-) Thayward thank you so much for sharing your experience with me! That means a lot...if it's ok, and I have any more questions for you, can I find you most likely on this forum??? I am not usually on this one so I forget to check it a lot. My partner and I are doing really well, I think I can just be a drama queen at times (and my hormones have been waaayyy out of whack lately which doesn't help) and I realize I've been very sensitive to the pregnancy topic with him lately and it freaks him out a bit. I'm just taking it slow now and we'll let happen what happens. He just doesn't like to "plan" everything so much, you know? I've found that ttc can take a real toll on a relationship especially if you sprinkle in 2 miscarriages in 6 months and the pain it has caused me. I don't blame him if he wants to wash his hands of it for a while. He said he just can't stand to see me hurt or disappointed again. Anyways, sorry to ramble, but on the topic of 2 parents--I guess I just come from a different perspective because I have many friends who successfully raise their children as the single mom and love it! I think if you have the resources it is a lot different than being broke and on a__sistance with children to raise. I know there is the issue of how a child will turn out without a "father figure"--I don't think there is any cut and dry answer to this (nature vs. nurture anyone???) It can be debated till the cows come home I'm sure. But, I was raised by both parents who should have divorced when I was young, but chose to stay together "for the kids"--it was AWFUL. Children know when there is no love between their parents. Kids are not stupid...it was devastating to me and gave me a warped perception of relationships that I have had to work very hard on to overcome. I love both of my parents, but I love them even more apart as they are truly better for it. I am also not against having a male in my life if I did choose to ultimately go the AI route. Heck, if I were pregnant by insemination and met a wonderful man and he was happy to help raise my child as his own then that's icing on the cake. I never know what life will hand me so I just have to learn to be more patient :-)