So friggen ANGRY - Pregnancy-Info

So Friggen ANGRY

5 Replies

I can't help but be horrified that the baby could even look like him. I suddenly understand how rape victims could be so traumatized that they could dislike their own offspring. There's something so horrifically awful about being constantly re-victimized. As long as I'm focused on every other part of my life (the bunnies, etc) I can continue on as if everything's okay. But in the moments when I'm alone or not feeling well, I'm so bitter that I'm going through this shit alone... and worse than just being alone and pregnant, I just don't want to be single and alone. There's zero chance of my finding company or companionship... it's like i've been shut off from the entire world. Anyone who looks at me just assumes "aw, she's having a baby..." - and it's like, hey, I'm still a fu**ing person here. With feelings. Who's morbidly lonely and depressed. I went from being the girl who was super popular among all my friends... to sitting home, alone, every day. I don't want that to be my life. And I have NO emotional connection to the baby. None. It's like I've been in denial. I keep getting reminded when I feel like c__p, or get three hours of sleep, or when I'm in pain, or can't just take my crohn's meds and eat a normal meal.. it sucks. And when I'm alone, and not feeling well, I'm SO friggen angry. I hate that he could do this to me and just f**king walk away without a care. Has he been bending over backwards, begging at my feet to buy me some friggen maternity clothes so I'm not wearing the same two pairs of jeans over and over? Oh h__l no. Do I have anyone to run out and get me something when I'm just too tired to get up, even though I'm so hungry it hurts? NO. I've got nothing. And I hate him for it, so friggen bad. I hate that I had to listen to stories over and over again at the beginning of this pregnancy about all the insane things he'd do for his ex (well, I guess she's just his wife again huh?) - and how when she was on bed rest he did EVERYTHING for her... and here I am, 24 weeks in, and that spineless f**ker has made ZERO attempt to make life easier for me in any way. Just because I wont GIVE HIM THE BABY TO RAISE WITH HER!!!! I'd rather spend the rest of my life in prison than suffer for nine months and give him EXACTLY what he wanted. That's what he did. He trapped me into being an unknowing surrogate, so he could walk out the door, knowing I never really wanted kids. Then he turned around and said "Well, I can solve your problem, we'll pay for everything, just give the baby to us." - What a f**king D**CHEB*G.

Grandpa Viv - October 11

HUGS! Your anger is understandable, but perhaps has gotten into a self-reinforcing loop that you need help to escape. For many men there is something especially s_xy about a pregnant woman. You should not become a shut-in on account of your tummy. Call your old friends and invite yourself out for an evening of fun. Show off the belly with pride, and deflect questions about the relationship with some humor "Oh, these one night stands aren't all they are cracked up to be." When you have your anger under control, it may be that you will see that his solution is workable - it's that or adoption, the way you feel about it. The kid may be impossible, and the best revenge is to let him spend the next 18 years raising it. Blessings, and good luck!

hjholmes - October 28

Have you thought about adoption at this point? I know you said you have no connection to the baby. Have you gotten counseling through any local or state agency? I am looking to adopt an infant (my partner and I) but I write mainly to say hang in there... there are agencies who will work with you... give you clothes, food, shelter if you need it. They will match you with parents who will pay your expenses while you are finishing up your pregnnacy. This might be good for you- get alittle help and then if you choose to adopt out your child you will still have the ongoing counseling to help you get through all of these emotions. Send me a message if you wanna talk.. and not just about adoption, but if yo uneed someone to listen.

bull2604 - November 3

Dear Angryredhead, I can certainly understand your anger as the father of my baby has let go of me last evening and joined hand with his rebel family who called all sorts of names to me and my baby which is 7 weeks. But let me tell you that no matter how much hard we all try, you are the one who will have to live by ur decisions in the end. Im looking at an option of adoption but Im based out of India and hence single moms are looked down upon given the conservation society that exists here. Hence Im desperate to seek International Adoption from some good family. But if I dont get help then I would have to choose the hard way of letting go as I know that practically it is not possible for me to give a good life to my baby. Write to me on bull2604atgmaildotcom. If nothing else we can atleast share our pain. hugs and kisses

jessica0775 - November 13

Gosh! He sounds like a jerk! Well, whatever you decide to do...Take care of yourself. I'm fortunate that I can handle the baby financially and I have a good support system without my husband. I still have some anger towards the situation but I don't want to worry about it. I just need to let some stuff go and not worry about his stupid behavior. Baby is coming with or without him in the picture.

Sandra05 - November 18

I'm so sorry he did that to you. That is so wrong. I would feel the same way as you do. Hang in there. Like others asked, have you looked into adoption? We are looking to adopt if you are interested. I wish you the best of luck. I'm so sorry that has happened to you.

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