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P.S. I thought I'd just add that he had this little "revelation" a month ago and at this point I don't believe it was just talk. Since then he's called at least two or three times every week to see how I am and came to my doctors appointment. He also took me to lunch the other day to discuss important details of what we need to do next. He said he wants to definitly sign her birth certificate at birth. At this point, I do believe he wants to be in our childs life....now if only these other thoughts hadn't started creeping in

Colleen, I think it is very normal for you to feel the way that you do. This is definitely a sticky situation and for you to try to convince yourself that you have absolutely no feelings for this guy is going to be really tough. Its hard to switch your feelings on and off, and even though he deserted you at this very important time, it doesn't necessarily mean that you immediately stopped caring for him. So my advice is to just stay as strong as you possibly can, and also to keep your guard up with this guy. He does sound like he has maybe changed his thinking and does genuinely want to be in this babys life, but don't let him hurt you in the process. He has alraedy done enough of that. Also, don't feel bad about wanting him to tell you he wants to be with you, it's only natural. If I were in your situation, I know I would feel the same way.

olleen-It's very hard as u know my situation to just stop loving or caring for someone just like that. Take it day by day and you will realize what's best for you with time. Just be careful not to let him hurt you again...TRUST ME...it does get easier as the days pa__s. Stay strong and we'll get through it! :)

I think its instinctual that you want to be with a man that you created a baby with. call it god if he will but I think deep down within us...when you create a baby together you are connected forever so it is only right that you want that bond to be complete and if it isn't you feel something lacking. yea he made a mistake but deep down the life growing within you is tieing you two together so you would want to be with him...does that make sense?

i don't think its stupid of you colleen because we all have this picture in our head that its 'ideal' to be with the baby's father and be in a loving relationship, happy family and all that. but in reality i think that too many women stick with losers because of this 'ideal', they would stick with a man that treats them like dirt simply because they have a baby together. i think sometimes you just have to be selfish and think 'i deserve better than this fool' and aspire to be with a man who truly loves you and would never desert you. it doesnt help that society frowns upon women who choose not to stay with unreliable nasty fathers. you can move on and get strong colleen. just remember you are so vulnerable at the moment that he could literally snap his fingers and you would do anything he said, but just remember, you deserve better.

Colleen, I can so relate to what you're going thru...I've been dating this guy, whom I know I'm very in love with, off and on for going on 4 years...we were talking of moving in together, at the time I became preggo, and then again after. Now he's decided it feels wrong to him... still wants to sleep with me (which I havn't been doing) still calls me daily, still sees me...but we went thru periods of up to 4 weeks at a time that I didn't hear from him. I know my heart would love for things to work out between us, as I do love him, but the bottom line is, where is he when I need him to be there? You're not crazy or loosing it, youre experiancing what a woman carrying a mans child does... some part of you is with him everyday...knowing the situation you're in, is a very big step! Of course you feel the way you do...I think it would be odd of you not too...but you've made the decision to not be blinded by emotion which is a very good move! You're already ahead of the game... I know in my mind I won't forgive mine if he does come around, but it doesn't change the feeling of wanting him to feel more then just obligate to our baby...

Just an update in case any one is curious...I've developed the att_tude of screw him for not giving two sh*ts about me. I'm done being nice and respectful of him just because he thinks swooping in and trying to be the "hero" by SAYING he wants to partake in our daughters life. Seven months into the pregnancy no less. It's not good enough. What has he done for me lately? Absofrickenlutely nothin. I just don't buy his excuse that he can't do anything for ME right now and that he can only show that he means it AFTER the baby is born by doing things for HER. Cat24, you are right. I deserve much better than this loser who has deserted me and doesn't think part of the parenting process right now is to be supportive of me. Screw him. And you know whats really funny? Since I've adopted this att_tude over the last couple weeks he's been calling and texting more often...of course I'm ignoring every last one of 'em but it just goes to show he couldn't see a good thing when he actually HAD it. I swear, some people have issues with that.....

Colleen you had an unplanned pregnancy and expected your boyfriend to be the all hero father.... Be realistic girl! You owe it to your child to try and hash out the best situation/relationship with our ex as possible. Get over the att_tude work out a relationship that allows him to be part of his childs life. Why would you want to be bitter and spiteful?

What are you trying to prove!? Humble yourself and realize that your baby has a father who cares.

franny and sky i don't think she is actually meaning that she will not let him be a part of her daughter's life. she is actually doesnt want him back in her life to have a relationship with him. he has hurt her deeply and this new 'att_tude' of hers is in fact a good att_tude to have because it will empower her and allow her to be able to be the best mother she can without feeling vulnerable and wishing he was there with her. the guy didnt deserve her and he is now realising that she is too good for him. im sure colleen will allow him to play a role as a father but at the moment she has to focus on being strong for herself and her baby, if that means distancing herself from him for a while then so be it.

Cat24 you are exactly right...I am so happy and willing to have him in our daughters life, just not mine! Why would I go back to a relationship with someone who chewed me up and spit me out like I was trash? Tell me? A future MAY be possible somewhere down the road but I don't trust him w/ my heart right now at all. And no trust on top of raising a baby together has disaster written all over it. And to make myself clear I'm about as humble as they come!