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inuk-mama, I feel for you. I'm in a very similar situation with my bf, although I'm the one who has changed feelings. We had our son a year ago July 25th and even during my pregnancy we were having major problems. I feel that we have totally grown apart and our prospect of a future together is very dim. He on the other hand wants to talk about getting married and all that c___p. I think he's doing that now because he can feel the separation between us and I don't hide my feelings anymore. I have major trust issues with him and he's done some things in the past that I just don't know if I can get past. It's hard because he is very good with our son but in all honesty I truly feel that if we didn't have our son we would have split a long time ago. I've really tried putting the past behind me and to move forward but for some reason I just can't. Even when he plays around and wants to touch me I push him away. Our s_x life definitely isn't the same because I've lost interest in him. Basically I'm going through the motions with no real feeling behind them. I guess when it truly comes down to it I stay with him because of our son and that's it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression but I think threes a possibility that I could be depressed because of my situation. I definitely don't feel like the same person that I use to be. I really love him but I just don’t think I’m in love with him anymore and I don’t know how we can get back what we once had, or if we ever could. I know my story doesn’t help you with your situation but it sounds to me like your bf has given up in the same sense that I have (probably for different reasons of course). Do you think he’d be willing to try a new counselor to continue working on your problems? Do you think the two of you have simply grown apart? This situation and stress doesn’t sound good for your pregnancy. Have you thought about taking a break from each other for a couple weeks for you to both get some space and think about what you truly want and what will truly make you happy? I know that would probably be hard for you to do since you’re pregnant and already have a child together but sometimes absence makes the hart grown founder, or so they say. I really feel for you and hope you can work this out with him for your sake and the sake of your children. If it doesn’t work at least you know you can do it on your own. Good luck and please keep me posted.

I'm not sure if a different councellor would help. He doesn't seem interested in anything that would potentially help us. In his mind, everything is my fault, I'm the one who needs help, I'm the one with the problem. He doesn't see how putting in effort could possibly save us. Last night he came home an hour after going to "return movies" and get cigarrettes. (the store is about a block and a half away from our house) I don't know what took so long and I didn't bother to ask. I asked him if I could sit by him while we were watching a movie and he asked why! I didn't even know what to say! Then he fell asleep on the couch so I went and sat next to him, but he woke up and gave me the dirtiest look ever! So I just went to bed, and told him I loved him. He said it back, but I'm nto sure how much meaning is behind the words he says anymore? It really hurts to think that our end could be near. And I could never ask him to try a seperation because he would take that as me kicking him out and he would just freak out. He is very stubborn and I think that to him, as long as we co-exist under the same roof, that means our relationship is working. I can't say for sure what has changed, but i would like to know. I wrote him a letter last night while he was gone and I plan to give it to him today. In it, I have explained about my depression and that it doesn't mean I don't love him. I hope that by reading the letter and understanding this illness, he can better help me, and together we can become that happy couple we once were. I am not expecting a fairy tale ending, just my boyfriend back. Thanks for listening again sa__sychick. I hope that your situation gets better too.

Why does he think everything is your fault and what exactly does he think you've done wrong? I don't know much about depression but from what I hear it's a tough disease to go through. Has he ever been supportive with your battle with depression or is he now just finding out about it? Do you think he could possibly have some issues with depression himself...sounds possible from the way you describe him. Do you think he might have some other outside problem that interfering with you relationship (i.e. alcohol, drugs or gambling) I know you said he denies cheating. Maybe this is just a rough patch in your relationship and things will get better. I don't really know what to say but I wish I could help. I hope after he reads your letter he will understand your prospective a little better. Hang in that girl!

Hi.. was this current pregnancy planned? It sounds to me as though you got pregnant with your first soon after you two started seeing one another and now possibly he is feeling a lot of pressure knowing another one is on the way. I don't really have advice for you but I know that when men start to feel trapped they look for a way to escape.. sometimes even just in their mind. Which means ignoring their partner. Good luck to you.

yeah he does have a problem with alcohol. He was in rehab at the beginning of this year and it worked for bout a month. Then he was back to drinking on weekends. That causes a ton of problems for us. After the birth of our son, he was very supportive with my depression. But I don't know anymore. I didn't think I could take medication for my depression while i am pregnant, (just found out otherwise) So I am going in to talk with dr. to get on something. This weekend was pretty good. he stayed home with me and the kdis all weekend, and cooked breakfast for me like he used to. We rented movies and relaxed. We talked about a lot and I explained this depression again to him. He was very understanding. January, this pregnancy wasn't planned, nor was our son. He is a very family oriented person, he sees his family every day. I know that he's scared of another baby and you could be right. That could be him backing out. I'm not sure, I"m going to enjoy the next few days of peace, and look into another councellor. Thank you guys for your support. I really feel like we're not going to last too long.