What Do I Do -pg118963473425
3 Replies
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I don't know where to really start. I don't know what I am going to do. I am 23, making cash (I'm a nanny and have no idea what to do after I have the baby), I haven't completed my high school diploma, I have a roommate and 2 dogs, how do you have a baby? I mean, I know that there are people out there under a lot worse situations and that's why I'm asking, how do you do it? My family is not really going to be there for me, they think I am making a huge mistake and even tried to bribe me with money to have an abortion. I have had two abortions and I know what how emotionally stressed I was and the guilt I still feel for killing my potential child, I don't want an abortion. Nor do I feel I could ever give my baby to another family. My roommate has been awesome, I'm only 13 weeks along, but she said she isn't scared of babies and does not mind staying here in the apartment with us. Which is a relief, but I would rather be a family with my boyfriend. He promised me that in December we would move in together. Now he is saying that he doesn't want to move in until SUMMER. WTF? His reason is because his school, which will be finished in May (I am due in the middle of March) is 2-2 1/2 hours in traffic away from my house. Now I feel like I am going to have to raise my baby all alone. I know that the first few months for a mother are the worst and for him to only come by on the weekends is just bullshit to me. I'm supposed to do this all alone, how am I going to sleep or shower or do anything? I can't help but to be so angry, all I have been doing the past two hours is crying. Not only have I lost a lot of my family support but so many of my friends as well. The problem that they have is that the day I broke it off with my ex-boyfriend I started dating my friend (now current boyfriend and father of my child) whom I have know for about 5 or 6 years and immediately got pregnant. They don't really know him at all and think that he got me pregnant on purpose. Which is probably the case. I know nobody is going to read this, I just want to vent and have somewhere to put my confused thoughts. I guess I should end this since my tears are clouding over my eyesight and it's making it hard to see if I am typing correctly. I admire you all who do it on your own. Keep it up.
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I had my daughter when I was 17. I didn't drop out, but went to an alternative program where I could take accelerated cla__ses at night and graduated a year and a half early. There should be some type of adult learning center near you where you can get your GED. I know when your under 18 you have to go through like a 6 week cla__s to 'prepare you' but I think if you are an adult you can pay a fee and just take the test. Are you a nanny for a family during the day? Have you known them long? How old are the kids? Do they know you are pregnant? They might not mind you bringing the baby with you to their house. If not, do you have family or friends that can babysit? There is a program called FIA offered through the department of human services that can help you pay for daycare also, if you qualify. Is it possible you and your boyfriend can move somewhere closer to the school? Or was he planning on moving in with you and your roomate? The little guys sleep a lot at first so you'll have time to take a shower and get things done, although I would probably advise you sleep with them during the first month or you'll get pretty tired. There are also bouncers, swings, play mat/gyms that lay on the floor, and a ba__sinet. Sometimes when you absolutely have to get things done you just have to let them cry for a few minutes. As long as they aren't wet or hungrey, it's ok to sit down for a few minutes here and there. Not to stereo-type but have you ever seen how women in India carry their babies? It's like a sash that goes across your shoulder and around your hip that holds the baby on your side. They're getting very popular in the US and you can order them online. That would give you two free hands to use and a lot of the time walking will put the baby to sleep, not to mention alleviate the weight of carrying them all the time. You're pregnant, you're an emotional wreck, it's ok to cry. I did my first pregnancy on my own so I promise I know how hard it is. I have aim lyddlk and yahoo ms.kblunt <--- I think that's what my yahoo is, but either way if you want to give me your s/n I will add you if you need to talk or just vent to somebody. I love coming on here because you never know anyone or see them, and it gives you the opportunity to talk freely. Just hang in there, have some chocolate, and maybe a little icecream too :)
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23 and expecting a baby..... It sounds like you really do know what you are getting into and don't let your family not giving you the positive reinforcement that you need keep you from doing what your heart tells you is right. It sounds like the boyfriend might not be a "keeper", but alas time will tell. You can do it alone, it has been done many times before and very successfully. Determination, perserverence and love will get you and your child through it and you will both come out "on top". Your roommate is being supportive which is a wonderful thing! By the way babies can sit in the infant carrier seats strapped in on the bathroom floor while you take a bath or shower just fine. My oldest which I had at 16 and raised on my own is just fine now and he was in his infant seat reguarly for my showers or baths, etc. In fact he is happily married and expecting his first child in February next year. But if you think you have it bad, realize there is always someone out there who has it worse and there are so many things to be thankful for. Imagine being 17 and finding out you are having twins. You have not finished high school, but are almost done and your college education which you have planned for your entire life is now going to be majorly put on hold since you are having twins. This is my daughter right now. I am not saying she has it entirely worse, however I know that she has it pretty rough, but even she does not have it near as bad as many I have seen. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You will do great and make a wonderful mother! Best of luck to you. And I guess some do actually read these things.
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Thank you ladies. I am now 14 1/2 weeks and things are getting easier. I am still not completely happy with my situation, but I am starting to forget about the the negative and focus on the positive. A few of my sisters are now coming around and trying to be supportive, which is huge change. Thank you for taking the time to write back, I honestly didn't think anyone would write any advice, proved me wrong!
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