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I'm 28 yrs. old, and I am 6 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. I am already a single parent to a 4 yr. old whose father is in the picture but we are not together. The father of this new pregnancy was a man who wasn't even my boyfriend but a man whom I was sleeping with occasionally over a period of 4 months. When I told him I was pregnant he basically told me that my decision was a "no brainer" I already had one kid and now I was going to have a 2nd one by a different dad, then go out there in the world hoping to find a 3rd man to marry one day. When he said this to me I was crushed. Was he right? Am I really never going to find someone who will love a woman with 2 children’s by 2 different fathers?? He tried to convince me to get an abortion, and for a week I was seriously unsure about what decision I was going to end up making. He told me if I had this baby, he would support and love his child but would never speak to me again. He actually thought by him letting me know that we could still be friends if I had the abortion. Well I decided I can't do it. I am having this baby. And although I know I will love this child with everything I have inside of me, I break down completely at the thought of never again being desired by a man and be alone for the rest of my life. Anyone else ever experience feelings such as these?
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Hey...I am sorry to hear you feel this way. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about this (nor do I worry)...this is the last thing you should be worrying about right now. Honestly, the chances of someone "never again" desiring you and "being alone for the rest of (your) life" are very, very slim. Put things in perspective. You are only 28, and I know that *seems* "old" when you are 28, but life lasts a long time. The way I look at it is this: over 50% of marriages fail. And this is MARRIAGE we're talking about, not just a relationship in which the couple didn't marry but had children. This means that at any given moment, a LOT of people will be out there in the dating pool, many, many of whom have kids. Would *you* overlook a wonderful man just because he had a child? I wouldn't, and I would expect potential partners to approach me the same. And if they feel uncomfy about it or a__sume right off the bat that I come with "baggage"...well, all I have to say about that is that judgmental, immature, or insecure men aren't worth my time, now, are they?
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Obviously you're a desireable woman, you have two kids! I highly doubt you made them all by yourself. It's his loss, and you're better off without him in your life. I think you need to stop and re-evaluate yourself. You are an attractive, desireable woman, and you deserve a man who will cherish, love, and honor you as such.
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My brother and I have 2 different fathers. My mom found the love of her life. They've been together for 14 years now, and they can't keep their hands off eachother...to a point where it embarra__ses us kids. Don't let anyone convince you that you'll be alone. This isn't 1952. You'll be just fine.
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Petals - I have 3 children already, ages 6,7, & 8, with 2 fathers. I am pregnant with my 4th child, by a third father, and we are getting married. So don't lose hope. You just have to find someone who loves you for you, no matter what you bring to the table.
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That man was trying to manipulate you into doing what he wanted. That is not true, at least when you meet a nice man and he chooses to be with you and your children you will know that he loves you and wants you and isn't using you or just there for his own purposes, because yes it is a huge thing for a man to take on children he didn't make.
You need to believe in yourself, you are a wonderful person you do deserve to be loved, and show the world you are confident even when you feel less then desirable. Have a bath put your favourite clothes on do your hair, have a facial celebrate the person you are. Even if you are only going down to the local super market. Pamper yourself, it is not selfish to do nice things for yourself, the better you feel about yourself, the better your children will feel as they will see mummy is happy and they will aspire to be happy and content like yourself.
Take care and keep your chin up. Your life is what you make it, go on you are important and you will be loved again, its really up to you.
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I am 23 and a single mom of 2 beautiful lil girls... They are also by two diffrent dads.. Honestly I felt the same way when I was havign my last baby.. Who is going to want to deal with two kids and on top of that deal with two diffrent dads...I relized that all I have to worry about is my 2 kids if a guy cant except them (the package deal) then they are not worth it at all... Your kids have to come FIRST before anyone... I have a friend that has 3 kids by 3 diffrent men and she is now married and has a 4 child with her husband and her husband loves all the kids the same... If the right man is out there he will find you... Dont stress about being with someone just worry about those beautiful kids
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