Will Having A Baby Really Change Our Plans
2 Replies
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I am nine weeks pregnant and have been in a relationship for a year with the father. He has promised a future with me since the first weeks of knowing one another, but we fight like mad sometimes. He has taken me ring shopping, talked about dates....etc ...then they come and go and nothing happens. Right now I am scared that I made a big mistake having this baby with him. We went ahead and tried without trying to have a baby because I was told that it would take a long time to conceive because of a past bout with a brain tumor and the medications/treatments I underwent. Well we are pregnant and nothing has changed. (Ithought we would be married by the time it actually happened) Now I am afraid that we will only be getting married because I am having a baby. Thats not how I wanted my life to turn out. This year he has promised me he would find a job (never had one since I met him), we would get engaged, get married and move out of this rental. Did I make a big mistake? Iam thrilled to be having a baby, but have been experiencing severe morning sickness and dealing with this worry at the same time. Scared too because if this doesnt work out between us I will not be able to support my baby and myself. Scared. Any advice?
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First of all, you need to work on a way to support yourself and the baby. If this man has never had a job, you had to have known support would be an issue. How do you even survive right now? Second, you need to have a serious talk with your man and let him know that you need to see some action. Babies can't live off promises, they have real needs. I wish you the best and hope things work out for you.
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In my opinion, being promised a future by someone "since the first weeks of knowing one another" is *never* a good sign. Mature, loving relationships take a long time to develop, at least several months, if not much longer. Someone wanting to commit too soon is a sign of someone who may turn abusive. At the very least, it would have me wary that this person is merely infatuated, not in love, and not yet ready for a serious relationship. Which, it sounds like he is not.
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