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I am 14 wks I've known the father of my child all my life and the minute I got pregnant he became very angry. He is mad at me because I refuse to have an abortion. I was very hurt. I could not beleive he would do this to me. But life goes on and it's going on inside me. I had to pull myself together for the sake of my baby. We'll be alright. Take it one day at a time and focus on your baby.

Hi Alone And happy, I wrote this past may when I was going through something just like you, I was in a committed relationship, or so I thought, living with my partner and making plans to marry in the future and then an unplanned pregnancy happened and he said the same thing, have an abortion or it's over. Will as soon as he said that to me it was over with us because there was no way I could spend my life with someone who was not welling to be there for me and his own child when I needed him the most. He knew I had no family that could help me and I also have another child that I have been a single parent to for many years til he came along. I know how hard it is to be alone and have a newborn child and I didn't know how I could do that again with help from no one, my family lives on the other end of the counrty. I made a very big mistake and had the abortion although no part of wanted to and still months later i'm so sorry and finding it very hard to move on with my life because I think about what I did every day since, that was exactly 6 months ago today, tomorrow would have been my due day and this month has been so hard knowing there would have been a little baby tommorrow if I was a stronger person and leasoned to my heart. So be dtrong and only do what your heart tells you too, I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life and somedays I don't know how I can.... good luck and God bless you and don't think your alone...

Hi rose, im sorry for your loss, it must be very hard for you to no that you could have had a little one, i have a friend who i have supported through a simerlar ordeal and i no how this affected her, you are right about one thing and thats how could they walk away and not want to have any thing to do with you or your child,, it makes me think did they really care or love us at all was it all a waste,, you are not alone i just hope that you will meet some one who will love you for who you are and that one day you will have another beutiful baby,, stay strong good things take time you desearve all the happoness you can get.. bless

Hi Again alone & happy, Thank you, it has been very hard for me and i'm sure at some point I will meet a great person, although after all this I don't really know if there really is someone I can truly trust again. I know I will never have another child, I would feel to guilty for what I have done. I know that if I did every time I would look at that child I would remember what I did to this one.... But good luck to you and I really do wish you all the luck in the world, be strong. Rose

hi rose,, i understand that you might feel guilty about having another baby. there are many woman that abort for differnat resons,, some rape,, and many like that feel alone, but how ever if you were to have another baby you would love it all the same, dont ever for a minute say that you dont deseave one more, you did what you thort was right. in time the pain will ease, maby you could try making a little tribute for the one that you lost ,, i wish i could make the pain you have go away, god bless you and all the best

Steph, I really believe you should really think things through before you free him of his responsiblity, I am going through a some what similsar situation. First of all if he does not want to be with you, it is something you have to deal with. But he made that baby too and it is just as much his responsibilty to take care of it.Honestly, I would just tell him to step up and be a man

You should NOT sign this agreement. As a father, he is obligated to pay for child-support. Stay strong, and proud you will raise this child! :) cheer up!! You are stronger than you think, and will find support from your inner self, and from your family and friends as well. But again, DO NOT sign this paperwork, as he is obligated to pay, even if he doesn't want visitation rights.

No, you are not alone...though I feel the same...Please don't sign anything!! I don't plan on spending my life fighting a coward of a "man" for child support ... but don't sign the baby's rights away.... when you are stronger and past the hurt, you may decide to get what is owed to your child... In the end, you are the better person.....and we are brave for doing this on our own....though it is hard to believe that all the time....

Steph. I am also almost 12 weeks. The father told me he wants nothing to do with it. You are not alone,,,,not at all. I have also been disowned by my family as well. I have decided to forget all of this for the health of my baby until he or she is born,,,,and i for sure plan to persue child support. It takes two to make a baby.....he should have thought about it before he decided not to use protection. I just want you to know,,,, we will all be okay. There are so many women out there going through the same thing,,,,raising wonderful healthy kids all alone. Dont be discouraged!

I'm probably sticking my head on the chopping block just for posting in this thread, but here goes... The guys that all of you are describing are not MEN, they are in fact boys with a set of man toys which they apparently have been using without any thought as to what comes next. Though it may be hard for everyone to believe, there are in fact some decent MEN out there who are not afraid of responsibility and who look forward to being fathers one day. The problem is that too many women believe the boys who lie about their own agenda simply to get a chance at using those man toys between their legs. I don't date at the moment, not because I am not interested in finding someone I'd like to spend my life with, but because there are many gilrs out there who disguise themselves as women also. How do we tell the difference between those who are really interested in a lifelong relationship and those who simply want something (s_x, money, etc) from us until resposibility demands them to step up? I don't have the answer and am sorry for you ladies who fell victim to the boys in disguise. I urge those who may not have had that happen yet to be wary of giving in to your "BOYfriend" when he tells you he loves you and will be there if you become pregnant. Honestly, he probably will be just another of those lying to get into your pants. If you want commitment from a guy, make him give it to you first! For those who thought they had committment, all I can say is that you found someone who was a real jerk and took his lying one step farther than he should have. I'm sorry. I do feel for you all. I've even started to wonder if I should just find some single mother (or mother to be) who wants someone to step up and just be a dad for her kid and not the man of her dreams so that there is no reason to worry about things falling apart between us and ruining it for the kid(s). Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.

To ASingleMan- Well i hope you are honest when you say that but in most cases the man DOES say that stick around shortly and bam he's gone. Or even in and out of the kids life. I have been with my ex off and on for 8 years and so much hell to go with it. Its my fault to because i gave him chance after chance. Now after losing our first child, we have a little girl and now one on the way. It's as though the other guys i dated except for one were all players. One day i would like to meet a decent man who will respect me and my kids but it's to hard to believe it will actually happen. For us women it's like we are the mans persoanl play toys and once we are used we are thrown away. But to close i feel for these women and hope you are a man of your word and one day treat a woman and her/your kids as you say you will. I agree women can be nasty to. But knowing how i feel i could never pull anything bad on a man. I dont want it done to me so why should i do it to them? Well to all you ladies here good luck and hang in there.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I am in a mess myself. I am not sure if the father of my child is the one I want to spend my life with. I feel confused, afraid, and alone. I think accepting it is the hardest part and thats what I am still working on. I will be praying for you that the Lords will will be done in your life and that you will have peace. Hang in there! Everything will be fine.

I found out my now x-boyfriend was cheating on me on and off the whole year and a half we were together. He wants nothing to do with me nor the baby. He cant even look me in the eyes. I have had problems with bleeding and cramping throughout the pregnancy and have had countless ultrasounds. The last time being Christmas night, I called him at 315 am to tell him I was cramping, He was working until 4am and asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital. I said yes. Well when he came to my house he continually looked at his watch and was pacing back and forth with his hands on his hips and would not look me in the eyes. It was so obvious that he wanted to be somewhere else or had gotten into a fight with a female over the incident. He was p__sed, I told him if there as another place he needed to be he should just leave and I would find a way to the hospital myself. He told me I should just concentrate on the pain I was in and focus off of him. He then told me he wanted to take his truck and not my car because after the hospital he would just be dropping me off. I got into the truck and then he slammed the door of his truck so hard that the truck moved from side to side,,, I then quickly got off the truck and drove myself to the hospital. He left me several messages and text me. I had an appt on Wednesday and he called me at midnight to see how it went. I never called him on either occaision and will not call him nor answer his calls. I have had it, I accepted the fact the he was a cheater and a liar and I was willing to put a__side the pain I was going through for my child to at least have him there for the child and he has made it impossible for me. I give up and I will not answer his calls not his families calls any longer because I do not need the stress and I am thinking about my child and my pregnancy for once. I dont need him. He will hear from child support services and a District Attorney after the birth for child support other wise I dont want to have anything to do with him. He is nice one time and then he is angry and crazy later. It is as though he is bipolar or something. He is nice and says if you need anything just call, and when I do I have hell to pay. My friend says I should keep him in my life and should do it for the child and at least he was there,, yea he was there making me stress out more and cramp up more,, that night on Christmas, I almost crashed into a Mini Van I ran a red light,, I was in pain, I couldve hurt someone. Never again it woke me up to just totally and completely have him out of my life and not count on him for nothing. I just regret having to do this alone, because I never thought I would have to with him, he had changed so much from Jeckel to Hyde.

I hope all you ladies are doing ok now. My ex is the same way, when he's drunk he tells me how much he misses me and how he will always answer my calls.Which he is always drunk but only calls once in a while. But then when he's sober he ignores me. So yah it's like Jeckel and Hyde! i have had problems in my prego to and it's like only once he cared but other than that oh well. Good luck.

sounds like this is an issue for everyone.. I too have a now ex that didn't want the pregnancy.. now at 22 weeks he also calls me when drunk to tell me how much he loved me and wanted to be there for me and the baby.. but then sobers up and rips me apart. trying to humiliate me into going away or not existing.. seems to think i should be ashamed and embara__sed to tell people i'm having a baby with no father.. it's hard, cause when he's drunk he says everything i ever wanted to hear from him.. it's a love hate thing.. one that you know you need to get away from but can't help but think about and stress about despite what you know in your head.. too bad the heart isn't as easy to convince of the truth in matters..

You are not alone, I had an ex tell me as we were on and off again how badly he wanted a baby, we conceived to our surprise very quickly and now he says he is dating and doesn't care if I have it or not. He rarely returns my phone calls and now I know that I am alone and it scares the hell out of me!! Please be strong! Try and think of yourself and the baby, not him and how he feels. That is very important.