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im 10 weeks pregnant...and feeling so low..the father isnt speaking 2 me..and wants me 2 terminate...and 2 top it off..my family r being so horrible 2 me..because the guy is mixed race....they say im cruel 2 bring a mixed child here...im 32 yrs old yet feel like im12..asking 4 permission ..help
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I am having so problems myself my boyfriend left me with out calling me and seeing me for 2 weeks and i call him and ask what is going on. he said that it was not going to work out and that it was my fought because i did not want to do anything with him and i push him off. i could not help it. i am pregnant with my first child and i never been so sick every morning. then that is when he said that he is going back on he's old way like going back partying and smoken and all the wild things guy do. all of this happen when i was 4 months pegnant and i am 18 and he is 22 years old ........ gosh guys these day need to grow up!!!
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| r - December 4 |
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i'm 27 and pregnant with my first child. the father, who said he loved me, now wants nothing to with me or the baby, says he isn't ready, but he's 33, if he's not ready now, i suppose he never will be. it hurts to lose him, i really thought he was the one, but if this is how he truly is, i don't want to be with him anyway. you're not alone.
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i'm around eight weeks and my boyfriend says he'll leave me if don't terminate. i want him so badly to stay, but i won't have an abortion and even if i did to somehow try to keep him, i know it would only create resentment and would be the beginning of the end anyway. don't make any of these big decisions based on the man, wanting to keep him. think about yourself and the baby to make any decisions.
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I just don't understand all of this. I had no idea that so many men behave this way when the words "I'm pregnant" are uttered. I'll be going this pregnancy alone too. I'm terrified, like I'm sure all of you must be, but I have to trust that I'll be okay, no matter what happens. Strong women are revered, they always have been. Especially ones who can stand up and take what life throws at them with grace. I want to be just that woman. If we can take this anger and turn it into strength and bravery then we can surely be better mothers than most. I want the first thing people mention when describing me to be my strength.
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gee... I guess this is more prevelant than I thought. It also seems to cut across all socio/econ groups. I just found out I was pregnant, then father is trying to be supportive, but is freaking out and is still looking for someone new. No one deserves a toxic person in their life. Move on, it hurts, but do you really want to be with someone who isn't there for you?
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I know how you feel.I was with a guy for 3 year we planed on having a baby and in august i became pregnant and 5 days later he dumped me.We were so happy and now he wants nothing to do with me.He was my whole world my life and now its gone.im so sad and upset bout it all.Even been put on tablets by the doc coz of him but i Just keep smiling for my little one inside me..!things happen for a reason and they make you stronger.
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| Jen - January 1 |
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Sorry, hunny, I'm going through the same thing too, I've been going through it since I was about 4 months pregnant and now I am 9 months and dialeted two cm. It hard and lonely, but just be strong, don't stress out, you know that will just hurt the baby, and you can know that your not alone, I'm sorry about what your going through, just remember your love is the best thing for that baby, and once you see him/her for the first time, even if your unsure about everything now, I know that you child will make you feel fufilled and like that peice of you that you might feel missing now, you will feel is right there in your arms forever, I don't know if I worded that weird, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say
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| c - January 9 |
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You are not alone. The father of my baby doesn't want to have anything to do with me either. He has told me over and over again that he wants to see other women and that he has no commitment to me. I have to believe in my heart that i am better off without him and that i will find someone that will love the baby and me. You have to believe that too. Be grateful for the life growing inside of you. I know it's hard because i have never felt so unloved and unwanted right now, but i know when the baby comes it will be worth the pain i am in now. We will rise above and get through. Take care Steph.
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Wow... Your sure not alone any of you who write a response to steph question.. It brought tears to my eyes to read everyones reply cause like you all yesterday my boyfriend told me the samething.. He wants to date and screw around with other people.. Keep inmind that I'm 15 weeks pregnant.. He also said he would have his lawyer draft an "agreement" stating he wouldn't have to pay child support.. Oh yeah did I mention his is not the first time I have a four year old already (who is father takes no part) Just know that you can do this on your own and right now your hurting but once that baby comes everything will be alright.. I know its just hard believing that... I'm having the same problem... Good LUCK
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| Ann - January 16 |
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i'm 17 weeks, and the dad broke up with me because of it, said I've ruined his future of grad school, and pretty much makes me cry everytime I talk to him. He's selfish and even asked if we could give the baby up for adoption! I would love for him to sign his rights away, but he refuses. He says he'll pay child support, and it's already been filed, I feel very alone and betrayed and I also want to get on with my life. I've found that every day I DONT talk to him I feel more relaxed, and less emotional. It's not like I have things figured out, but my advise is to keep away from him, and GET CHILD SUPPORT! he doesn't have to be a father, but he made this baby too, and you DESERVE this money, especially for what an a__s he's been. You are not alone, and are a very strong woman to go through this. It will get better, and dont sign anything! :0)
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Steph,
I will say that I just found out that I am pregnant and I don't believe the father will stick around either. I am considering an abortion, although I think that I'll regret that for the rest of my life. This is my first child and I never planned to be a single mother. It is scary, but I do believe that you can and that you WILL be an excellent mother. The father may not be there, but you can create a better support system than him with family and friends, and I'm always an e-mail away. ;) Let's pray for each other every day - I believe in prayer, and I believe that you are strong.
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| Rpw - January 17 |
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I was just basically told the same thing today, and whatever you do...don't sign anything!!! He may want nothing to do with you or the baby, but that baby deserves to have his income help raise him/her.
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I am thirteen weeks pregnant on friday my boyfriend told me that he did not want to be with me I know what you are going throu believe me he wants to recognize my baby but i do not want to he swore he loved and that he would never leave me he lied to me i feel so lonely and betrayed we were together for four years this is breaking my heart i still can believe he left me with our baby...........
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dont' you dare sign a d__n thing! If he's not going to be a part of your life, he still needs to support you. Seek info on childsupport for the baby. As far as dealing with being a single mom... welcome to the club. Be strong. Don't stress yourselft out. Take care of yourself & enjoy life, you're a mommy now! You've got so much to look forward to! Good luck!
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You need to have legal papers drawn up that state that he resigns his parental rights. This will prevent him from being able to take your baby in the future. A friend of mine did not do this and after 4 years of some visitation the father got custody of her son. Have him sign these! You need to protect yourself and your child!
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