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well my baby's father, took of to arizona and now says he's going to come back after I have the baby and steal him/her.

I am 11 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I have only been together 7 months now, so when I got pregnant we had only been together about 5. He and I had a nice relationship, it was fun and sweet, until April 20th when I took a pregnancy test and 2 lines showed instead of one. I called him right away and he was pretty upset, he didn't talk much which is what he does when he's mad. However, he was somewhat supportive the weeks following, going to my doctor appointments, etc. I brought up adoption but he didn't want to do it. He said he would accept the responsibility but I was afraid that if he left me I would have to do this myself. I expressed that fear to him and he hesitantly said that would not happen. Now, these past 2 weeks have been worse. He's been partying a lot, ignoring me, and not having much to say on the phone. I rarely see him. So tonight I called him up and he gave me the cold shoulder after I asked him why he was acting so distant. He actually admitted something was wrong but we would deal with it later because he was "busy." My worst fears have come true. He's gotten scared and he's going to leave. Now I have to face the decision as to whether or not I want to follow through with adoption or, worse for him, keep it and sue his a** for child support and make his life miserable. I never imagined this kind of life for myself. I can't believe this is happening to me.

what do they do when u have abortion

We must be living mirrored lives. The father of my child never wanted anything to do with my son. I walked away hurt. I never collected child support (nor welfare checks of any kine). You are most definitely not the only one out there. As affirmation, I wrote a book called Pregnant, Afraid, and Alone! You can find it online at Trafford.com. My son is now 15 going on 16. My son excels in academics, athletics, and leadership. My book starts from the time I was pregnant until he turns 15. I also have a bonus chapter on very effective non-physical parenting strategies. Good Luck!

Don't sign anything. You may need the financial support that they will make him be responsible for, and he should be. If he does not want to help you through this emotionally then you and that child are better off without him, but still make him financially responsible for that child. There is alot of help out there through Cep programs that will help you to go to college, help you pay for automobile expenses, help you with daycare expenses, formula, etc.... without having to be on full-fledge wellfare. You are not alone! Hang in there, you can be strong and you will be strong for the sake of yourself and your child. You made one mistake, it does not mean you have to keep making them. Learn from your experiences! Good luck to you.

This message is for June 3 Kristina -- If your boyfriend is still being distant and panicking, LET HIM. Just let him have the time and space that he obviously needs to process this right now. Don't get me wrong, it will be tough. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend panicked and went away for four weeks. It was HORRIBLE, but I didn't pick up the phone, no matter how badly I wanted to get in his face and see what the H he was thinking. Take this time to take care of yourself...get the support of your loved ones, family and friends, and let him have the time he obviously needs to let this sink in and review his priorities. If you get in his face and demand immediate answers and resolution, it will just b__w up in your face. Keep calm, and he'll come back to talk when he's ready. I'm not saying that he'll come back all gung-ho to be a dad, but he'll come back when he's calm. I wrote back in May in the midst of my crisis, and was in much the same situation. Now, it's mid-June and life is VERY different. My BF is now excited about the baby...we're rebuilding after the damage that was done, talking about our future, thinking about names, etc. A month ago, I would have NEVER thought the situation would turn around. Have faith, and give him some time to panic, and then process the situation.

He can't sign away his paternal rights. The child has rights to know and see his father. There are only two options. The first is signing away his paternal rights, but he has to sign them away to another male. The second is that after the child is born you can sue for legal custody.

You are not alone!! When we found out we were pregnant, my husband "vanished." He also asked me to sign an agreement for waiving his parental rights and responsibilities. In our situation, it turned out to be the best thing I have ever done, but I know every case is going to be different. The most important thing to know is that you can do it! There are so many programs and support groups to help out single mothers. Also, there is something beautiful in knowing that your child is going to loved 100% by the parent involved, which is better than having an involved parent that will make them feel unloved. You can do it, I know you can. I know it is not ideal, and people are going to have their own opinions ans advice, but all you really have to know is that you would do anything that is in the best interest of this little miracle. Good luck and God bless!

i really liked this site i am not pregnant but just had my baby girl..my x left me when i was 2 months pregnant and a few weeks later after our child was born he told me he wanted nothing to do with her and he had a baby on the way with his new gf so our child had to be put aside...not to mention he had not seen her still to this day she is now 2 months old...he had told me he dont have to pay child support becuz he had signed all rights away i am still looking into it i just hope he has to pay...guys are so stupid sometimes and i swear they only think of themselves and whats convenient for them...and the whole reason he is with this new girl is for the money she brings in and stupidly gives him while he lies to her and tells her he loves her..good luck with ur baby and i hope he gets what he deserves...

I feel embara__sed for my husband but here is the story. I am 39 years, 15 weeks pregnant which was the result of my 3rd IVF. My husband seemed to go along with all these until I got pregnant. His behavior gradually changed from moody to aggessive. 2 days ago told me he didn;t want the baby so I either abort it or he moves out. Of course for me that was not an option so there was nothing to decide and he moved out. He said he will take ful responsibility as a father but for me these were empty words. I feel very angry and I don't know if I will ever forgive him. I have been trying for so long, taking lots of medication and now that my efforts paid back, he ruins it for me.

STEPHANIE... from what I know.. in most states the father CAN'T sign his rights away without your permission, and also I believe you would have to be re-married with a husband willing to adopt your child. So him telling you he signed his rights away is total BS. Call your local domestic relations or a__sistance office and they will help you collect child support.

Also.... he will owe you backpay for the time since your child was born... like if you child is 6 months old by the time domestic relations collects child support... he will owe you 6 months worth of child support.. and then he will be paying until your child is 18 (and in some states 21 if the child goes to college)

You are not alone and I am 10 weeks and this just happened to me too. You will be fine and everything will be okay. As women our decisions are never easy, but we can be a__sured that we always making the right one and if you feel that keeping this child is it- do it! You won't regret it! Don't sign anything! Make him pay sweetie- go straight to the DA and you don't even have to go to court-they'll handle it for you!

You ladies are definitely not alone. My 25 yr old boyfriend too is also rooting for an abortion. However, I (28) am afraid that he makes a very compelling case. He told me that if I don’t abort, I will be destroying his dream of one day--when he is ready--being a great father. Since he grew up without a dad (who left for drugs,) he never wants his kid to hate him the way he hated his dad. Also, he says that I am not mentally stable enough and that I cannot provide a good life for the kid because of my poor financial situation. I feel so alone. He says I can’t give any good reasons to have the baby and that if I have it, it will be out of selfishness (I would be choosing to have the kid not because I could give it a good life but because I don’t want to live with the guilt of killing it). Furthermore, it is selfish because I won’t be able to provide a stable environment for the kid (emotionally and financially) and I will just wind up messing up another kid in the world like so many people do. F-that. I love my baby already and I will work my hardest to give it the brightest future possible. I want to be so strong in the face of his doubt, negativity, turmoil and general BS. However, he is really staring to make me feel like a bad person. What should I do??

Hello all, Wow it seems a little easier to know I'm not the only one in the same situation. I have been with the father of my unborn child on and off for 6 years now. I have been pregnant before my him and yes we did get abortions and always said if it ever happened again we would never have the abortion again we would keep the baby. Well here I am pregnant again and now he does not want the baby and it mainly has lots to do with his parents, they never approved of me, I have a child with another man, a child who is just wonderful and who has his father who is very active in his life a good dad. Well my boyfriends parents don't approve of me because of that and because I'm 4 years older. They are traditional hispanic people. They feel that I'm only out to get there son for money which is far from the truth. So now he has to choose, either me and the baby or his parents and he feels it would be easier to choose them, he can't hurt them. So of course that hurts me terribly, we fight and argue about it and I just feel so depressed about it. I am having complications and have really high blood pressure because of this whole ordeal. He tells me I'm co-dependent and needy and wants to give up all rights. I'm so hurt and confused right now, the only good thing right now is my son who keeps me going.

don't give up. i got pregnant at 20 and apparantly a baby wasn't in my older boyfriend's plans. the relaionship did not work out but i got a great daughter out of it and worked hard to provide for her and myself. you have lots of friends on this forum.