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steph and hazel you're not alone I'm 12 wks and mine left me too!! It broke my heart !

I don't see how he can give up his paternal rights before birth, since he has none. He can't legally deny financial responsibility after either. Sometimes it sux being a guy. So you could sign it, but I don't think it would stand up in a court.

My ex has denied his "responsibility" for my baby since day one, he CLAIMS I was messing around with someone else and he "doubt" the baby is his. I wouldn't want him to be the father ANYWAYS and I certainly dont want to claim him as THE father knowing he'll never be around- the hard part is.... he WON'T sign an agreement freeing him of any and all responsibility (once the p.test determines it's HIS)- I wish he'd sign a legal doc. giving me a chance to move on with my LIFE as a single mom. If you can get a nice child support check out of him DON'T sign that doc_ment! <~~ Baby's are EXPENSIVE so make him pay for his part in the making! If his paycheck isn't worth the arguing (like my ex's) then I say SIGN it!

I wish my ex-boyfriend would sign away his rights. He was so angry when we found out I was pregnant. I didn't think I could get pregnant cause I had failed to do so in a previous marriage and in a previous long term relationship. So at first he demanded proof of my infertility issues, then he started pressuring me to have an abortion. He said that he took another girl to the clinic a couple years ago and she has a great life now (he claims he wasn't the father-just a friend helping her out), then he told me he would get me pregnant again in 6 months. At first I was so angry I said fine I will make the appoinment, but instead I made the appoinment to have an official test done and get referrals to agencies that could help me take care of the baby. I told him I couldn't go through with the abortion and he flipped out. Out of the blue when he told his mom he decides he's happy about it because she is- but he continued to pressure me for several days after that. His family-especially his mom, totally jumped in and started making demands. They say this is the first baby in the family in 20 years and everyone wants to be in the baby's life. The father is a real a**hole and his treatment of me has grown steadily worse. I broke up with him and he charmed his way back within a week. But his immature and cruel behavior continued. He also gradually revealed that he smokes pot and drinks EVERY day! Before I was pregnant we had issues about one of his neighbors that he is in love with. I was only staying with him briefly until I found an apartment and I was able to witness them together several times. It disgusted me. Well, even though I am having his baby he has yet to cut things off with her. I broke up with him again about a week ago and this time for good. I do not want my baby to develop self-esteem by seeing their mother accepting cruel and heartless treatment. I do not want them to grow up around constant fighting and their mother crying all the time. Because of his reckless behavior and lack of knowing right from wrong I am terrified of the baby being alone with him. He so obviously does not want this baby and yet at the same time he became so controlling over me. He would not leave my side even when I asked to be alone, he would even spy on me in the bathroom and tell me what to eat and drink. The one thing he could not do was stop stressing me out! He lives and acts like a child and is very irresponsible. Since I've known him (only a few months) he has received an eviction notice and had his water,cable, phone,and internet shut off for being several months behind and he has borrowed money from everyone he knows including me and failed to repay. Now his mother is basically threatening me. She doesn't care about the fighting or his behavior, she tried to force me to live with him anyway. She actually told me to use him at least until I'm through school! She said she did the same to my ex's father when he chose drugs over his family- she lived with him for a year and a half just to get through school. His whole family is telling me he is immature and reckless but he needs a woman to train him. They are angry with me for not wanting to stick it out with him to make him pay his bills and make him go back to school and teach him how to be a grown up. His brother's girlfriend angrily told me," his brother wasn't as bad as he is and look how far I've gotten with him! I've been with him seven years and everyone tells me he's improved a lot!" By the way his brother is still being supported by his girlfriend-his older amputee girlfriend who is going through cancer treatment. You just can't make this stuff up. Because of his controlling and his family's pushing him with the baby, and their obsession with the baby, I told all of them to get out of my life and leave me alone. Without the pop-in visits and upsetting telephone calls I am finding that I am at peace. My nightmares are going away and I can sleep with the lights off now. My counselor said the nightmares were from fears of protecting the baby and she is right. I have been terrified and stressed out while I wa with him. Now I am well rested and eat well. I go for walks and I have a support system among the nonprofits that are helping me. My family was never close so I do not have family support, bt I have new hope for OUR future. My only fear now is that I am pretty sure the ex will be pushed by his mother to sue for custody when the baby is born. They are handing him a fat check to move from his dump apartment into a new house! And he is taking a weekend job to prepare for the baby. They are grooming him to look like the ideal parent. Meanwhile I am a full time student and live in a studio. I will have Medicaid soon and public a__sistance and they know my family isn't there for me. I left the job because he was my only way of getting to work. It is in another city and we work 5 feet away from each other. I am looking for a job close to home so I can walk to it cause I do not have a car. I am seriously thinking about breaking my lease and starting over somewhere else because I know custody battles are stronger if the other parties involved have had visitation. I am scared of losing my baby. The agencies are telling me not to worry because I am a good person with no vices and he has been arrested and would probably fail a drug test -but his mom would tell him to clean up before the test! They said a studio is fine for me and an infant, but I don't know. I am scared. I am thinking maybe they won't take the baby from me because I am a mixed minority and he is white. I have heard they won't take minority babies from mothers and place them into white homes unless the baby's in danger. I feel a little better that I am not the only one who got pregnant by such a cold-hearted inhuman loser jerk, but it also makes me sad that so many of us have to go through this. I am going through individual and group counseling because of this and I will keep fighting for a peaceful and happy life for me and my baby. Good luck to us all!

It is sad to see I am not alone either. My boyfriend who is 40 just left me at 14 wks pregnant. He is scared to lose his money yet he will pay child support. I don't know how I chose such a poor father to be. I was certain that he would be excited to finally have his first child. I can't believe how wrong I was. People tell me he is just freaked out..God I hope so.

Hi steph, when i found out i was pregnant i was five weeks and i went through the same thing! i am sixteen weeks pregnant now and i have never been this happy before in my life! i am confident in being a single mother. What helped me when everything happened is i just threw myself into my baby by learning everything i could about whats going on in every week. it helped me alot. hang in there me, you, and any other single moms out there can do this!

Steph, I am also 12 weeks pregnant and am going through the same thing as you. He wants a contract to waive his rights and never see me or the child again. How cruel is that?!? The stress it's causing IS unbearable...

I have been with my b-friend for 5 years as well and he tried to pull some paternity c___p b-s with me and I am not having that, he cheated and lied to me for years and has the nerve to request a paternity test. Whats makes it worse his mother is encouraging him to get one and she does not know me from at all. He is willing to take responsibility for the baby but he treats me very bad, he curses at me and calls me every name in the book. Dont worry you are not the only one with issues such as yours. Plenty of women are in much worse situations than me. I am working I make good money. If he wants you sign an agreement, DONT DO IT. It took two to tango and I am sure you did not sit there and impregnant yourself. Go on with your life, dont ask him for anything just go to your local Child Support office and file a pet_tion for support, you dont have to see nor hear from him, they will take it right out of his pay! I really despise what my boyfriend is doing to me right now and if he really puts me through a paternity test when the baby is born, I dont think I will be dumb enough to stay around and let him take credit for a cute adorable baby, when he put me through hell these past 6 months.

Any single pregnant women out there who are even contemplating abortion, visit this website before you do and watch it...www.silentscream.org. I am truly moved and uplifted by your stories of courage and it gives me hope. I am in the same position...4 1/2 months pregnant. Boyfriend was supportive upto the 4 month mark...then said the baby couldn't possibly be his cause his sperm count is too low and I've been lying to him the whole time cause I must have cheated on him and not told him. Since then, he refuses to speak to me or see me until the baby is about to be born so we can get a paternity test. He threatened me with a restraining order if I try to contact him again from this point forward. I have given him everything I had...I had loved him despite the way he kept leaving me and letting me back in hoping my love would prove that what he has in me is a good thing and it would make him see what he has and love me again. But I was blind and foolish...he was just using me and taking advantage of my love and vulnerability, got me pregnant and has now completely abandoned me. I've been having emotional and mental breakdowns since then, it's been affecting my work and my health, I'm afraid for the baby, I haven't slowed down in my smoking and I'm afraid of what that's doing. I'm trying to be strong. I pray to God everyday and I've started keeping a journal of my discussions with God. I pray everyday for Andrew and for my unborn son Jordan. I'm afraid that Andrew and his family will go after me for custody if I don't ask him to sign over his parental rights. He doesn't work, He's epileptic, 31 yrs old and living with mommy and daddy. I'm working my a__s off to try to make hours to receive maturnity leave when the baby comes. I'm afraid of something happening and ending up on bedrest with no way to pay for rent or to lose the opportunity to bank hours for my leave. He won't be there, he won't answer my phone calls. I wouldn't even be able to inform him if I ended up in hospital for something. I don't even think he'd care if I lost this beautiful child. Like yourselve's he wanted me to have an abortion cause he didn't know how we'd support it. I couldn't go through with that. Had one ten years ago and had a miscarriage last August. This child is all I have left in my life and if I lose him, I don't know what I'd do. I'm trying to be strong, I have my good days and my bad. He will get his paternity test, but I feel also, if I can get him to sign over his parental rights, then at least I'd know where he stands and I can use that against him later. Either way, I don't really want him in my or Jordan's life, or his family, but I want to sue his bloody a** and when he does start working, get what I can from him.

If anyone wants to start a support group, email me or add me to msn messenger at leena_langlois25@hotmail.com

Steph, First of all, you are a courageous woman, and if you stay strong you will be fine. As I see mentioned before, do not sign anything without consulting legal counsel. I have the opposite problem, my daughters father is trying to to get 50 percent custody, even though he has does not even have a room for her in his home, and I believe he is only doing it so that he pays less support. It is costing loads in attorney fees, and is a terrible stress. You never know what these men will do. Just stand up for yourself, be strong for you and your baby, and you will be fine. Besides, your child will make any other hardship worth it....Being a mother is a best experience in the world! Good luck to you! Debbie

If you sign that paper, than you won't be ent_tled to the child support that is owed to you.

Well, he has turned my sister against me and actually I have no support. The agencies that were helping me started to try and control me too! They were pressuring me to go back to church (Catholic) and talking about eventually taking antidepressants. I am not the one with the problem, he is! But they said that because I had no family support and he was stalking and hara__sing me that I should consider taking meds to help me "cope" with all of the stress. NO Thank you!!! Can you believe that? I was getting sick of his hara__sing me and calling my family and with his family constantly popping by and ringing my doorbell. I started thinking about my future again and how hard I would have to fight to keep this child safe and away from him and his family. They have money and I am just a student. I thought about how I was changing the whole course of my life for something that would be a losing battle. I have been so sick and tired everyday and overwhelmed by the pregnancy symptoms. I went through with the abortion. I have not decided yet if I will tell everyone that I had the abortion. I have told my closest friends, but you know they haven't called to check on me either. This whole tragedy has been a blessing in disguise. I realize I can't resent anyone for me not having a life. I have always lived for other people while they are living for themselves. I am suprised that I made this choice. For one thing it is something I thought I would never do. Secondly, this is the first time in my life that I chose myself. I was keeping the baby for him and his family. I have always wanted a child, but this wasn't right for me from the beginning and I knew that inside. I am taking it one day at a time. I am sad, but also relieved. Now I have added locks to my door and a friend bought me some pepper spray. After I have healed and rested I will let him know the pregnancy is over. Then maybe he will leave me alone and I can stop looking over my shoulder when I go to the store or check the mail. Now I just want to focus on finishing school and relocating to an area where people actually give a flying fig about each other. I am so over this place. My ex-husband left even though he's the reason I got trapped here. I moved here for a jerk and stayed for another jerk and my life has pretty muck stunk here. I was way happier back home. Time to take my life back. I wish all the best to all of you brave women who chose to keep your babies and have the strength and courage to face the future as single moms.

You need to get him to sign away his rights. This only means he can't take your child later but this does NOT release him from financial responsibility which is probably what the nitwit thinks. Get a lawyer dear. Hang in there, the right one for you will love you and that baby. Be strong you can do it like millions of women before us have done.

be strong and love life, he'll regret it when hes older i promise.

i am 6 weeks and i just found out today that i am and i told my family and they are willing to help me ..but they want me to tell the man that i am having a baby but i dont know what i should do about that cuz he is not the type for this kind of job...but neways i need help to find places that give you free stuff for your baby...now back to you dont have him sign any thing cuz you can get him for child support and then they give blood test ..so go from there and see what happens...