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my boyfriend and i broke up not too long after i found out i was preggo. and now that i am pregnant i have realized that i dont want to have 50/50 custody . its not that i think he will be a horrible dad its just that hes a man he doesnt know anything about babies so it does make me worry and i dont know if i will be able to be away from the baby for more than a weekend and that is pushing it! i do realize that the baby and i are very lucky that he still wants to be involved and i am very appreciative but i can already tell that i have seperation anxiety. i just think that i would be more comfortable if he only had the baby on weekends after im done br___tfeeding. is there anybody esle who feels this way?
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First off, when the baby is that young, he should not be alone with the baby. Especially if you are b___stfeeding. I would say maybe at around 9 months or so when ur child can eat some solid food and can be left alone with the father and by then you'll be able to tell what kind of relationship he will have with his child. There is no way that you'll be able to be away from your newborn for more than couple of hours, let alone a weekend. Good luck!
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I am sorry oliveoy but he IS the father and he is ent_tled to have his child 50%. If this is your first baby, what more do you know than he does. I had my first child at 33 (after being married for 3 years) and I had no idea at all about infants! Of course if you are b___st feeding your child will be more with you, but your child deserves to be with his/her father as much as possible and if he wants 50% then you should be very happy...
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He is the father and if he wants (and hopefully he does) he can have 50% custody. I hope you can realize that this would be the best case scenario. You will get used to your seperation anxeity.
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i disagree with 123abc's comment about how the father of the baby should not be left alone with his child, after all it takes two people to make a baby so where is the harm if he wants to look after his little baby for a weekend or a few days? separation anxiety will only get worse the longer she has this mindset and as a result she will not only has separation anxiety but their baby will have it also, and that can cause endless problems. if she is b___stfeeding she can express her milk and do it that way. to say a father shouldnt see his child when there are no serious circ_mstances/reasons why he shouldnt, is in my view ridiculous.
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Logistically, if that baby is b___stfeeding he or she will have to be with you, the mother, 24/7 for the first month. Doctors do not recommend a mother use pumping as a subst_tution AT ALL in the first month b/c you have not developed an adequate milk supply until that point. Soooo, if the father wants to be there and supportive of his baby in that time he will have to understand it will be time spent with you too. After the first month, he should be able to use frozen bottles of your b___st milk while you are away. But just remember...if he wants 50/50 custody he's going to have to understand there may be times where you can not keep up with the "work" of pumping!! Like I said, biologically b/c of b___stfeeding, the father is going to have to be flexible about the 50/50 custody...
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Cat24 - there is no problem with the father having the baby for a weekend or so, but not when the baby is that young, especially a newborn. for the reason that colleen stated and plus the first few months, the baby bonds with the mom through b___stfeeding and it's a crucial time. I didn't introduce the bottle to my son till he was 3 or 4 months old. I'm all for fathers having custody and spending time with their children and once the baby is older then he can keep the baby for a longer period of time.
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If you are concerned about age, wait and let him be the one to file for custody. If he doesn't do it immediately, do it as soon as you are comfortable because it is important to establish. Usually joint custody isn't actually 5O/5O, it's like dad gets the child Friday night - Sunday night at an arranged time and perhaps a night during the week such as Wednesday. Just let him be as much of a dad as he chooses.
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