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bitterness aside MJM06 you have to think about what the future holds. you don't want your son/daughter to end up resenting mommy because mommy never let them have a father in their life. there is no doubt the guy is an absolute rat for what he has done to you and his new gf is pathetic for staying with him - he must have her that weak that she can't see herself with a better man. if you didnt find out the paternity you would be forever wondering and your child deserves the right to know who her/his father is. you do not know at this stage what he has to offer the baby if the baby is his, try to keep an open mind about it and tell him you will discuss it further once the test results come back. thee are a lot worse men out there who don't deserve to be fathers for all sorts of horrific reasons, is your ex one of those men?

so a guy that cheats doesnt have the right to be a father then? to me that sounds very harsh as the mother could easily have cheated on him (lets face it we don't really know what happenned here). fair enough if he is violent, bad tempered, a criminal etc etc, but i think to not allow a man to be a father for his own flesh and blood just because he cheated is very harsh. one's bitterness towards him should not take away his right to see or bring up his own child.

Why on earth would you want to cut your ex out of your childs life. YOU WERE WITH HIM FOR 3 YEARS, so obviously you found some good qualities, in addition YOU chose to have s_x with him knowing very well what the outcome would be. Of course he has equal rights and your child deserves the parternity test. Sorry dear, but if you even doubt it can be another man's baby, you are no angel either. j

And Teddy....you are so d__n judgemental about her ex....but the fact that paternity is pending does not make her the saint of the failed relationship...

He has a right to know if he is the father. Whatever issues you two have needs to be set aside for this child. Just because your relationship did not work out doesnt mean that he should not have any rights(if the baby is indeed his)

I agree with MelissaP. But on a more serious note why is calling your ex on the internet "lol" does that not mean "laughing out loud"...? In any case, get over your bitterness and do what is best for your child. Get along, act like mature people and raise your child as best as you can TOGETHER!!! Good luck

Sorry but you sound very immature about this. Remember all those great qualities your ex had that made you stay with him for 3 years before you shoot off saying "he has nothing to offer the baby." What makes you so much of a better parent!?! OF COURSE he should have equal rights!!!

wow, the peanut gallery is being pretty harsh here. MJM06, don't be offended. I can honestly say that I have had an ex who I knew was "bad" for me (hence being an ex) but still was highly physically attracted to him at the same time. People slip up, thats life. I don't think you should be attacked for saying he is poison, because he certainly does sound like it. Anyways, I still have to say I can't necessarily blame him for wanting a paternity test. I mean, you two were not in a relationship of trust of any sort so how can he be 100% sure? The only thing you can do for now is be patient and wait until you meet your little angel and THEN find out. Make sure your ex really does step up to the "father type" behavior like he said he would.

The harderst part of being a lone is giving up the dream you had about having a family. Loosing your dreams are a hard thing, but it will all work out for the good. The funny thing is if he really isn't about anything then you wont have to take anything from him. He will only want to fight for his child if he can't have his child. So the best way to find peace is say sure you can see the baby ect. If he isn't worth anything that will only last a few weeks to a couple of months then you will hear less and less from him. However, you want to give the best effort you can to having your childs and other parents relationship work because if not it will back fire on you when that child finds out you prevented them from having a father. That child will then be angry with you. SO just get a test and let things go as they happen. Just work on keeping your self healthy. Back to what teddy said lol and hey what woman wants a broke man. Oh also a lot of the times we see our exes with othe women and automatically a__sume they are giving them everything they wouldn't give to us and treating them so much better, but wrong just think she is getting treated, talked to, and given the samething you were.....dishonestly. so don't worry about her.