Bf Wants Abortion

6 Replies
alexa137 - July 26

my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years wanted this pregnancy for so long now i am and hes leaving me bcause we are fighting and hes mad etc...(very long story!) and he says he doesnt care what i do, being very rude and ignorant and said that having an abortion would be better bcause after its born he doesnt want any other man to be around the baby(like at my apt, or me having a relationship etc.) i cant believe this! i am so depressed and in so much pain! why cant he just stay with me if he loves me so much??? i dont get it

 

sa__sychick - July 26

Alexa how far along are you? Don't let him pressure you into having an abortion because he says he won’t be with you if you keep the baby....that's just wrong. You do what's best for you and remember that this is your body and your choice. Do you think he might just be really scared and freaked out about all this right now and that he might calm down after he has time to really think this all over? If he really loves you and you both have wanted this pregnancy for so long I don't see how he can just all of the sudden change his mind...although he is a man, lol. I know that you say you love him and want him to stay with you but maybe you need to give him a little space. The last thing you want to do is try and force him into staying with you because your pregnant because then he might resent you and the relationship could ultimately fail because of that. And don’t let him dictate what you do. If he doesn’t want you then how can he tell you that you can’t be around any other man or have any other man around his child? If he truly doesn’t care what you do then he wouldn’t be trying to dictate who can or can’t be around your child. I’m sorry I don’t have any good advice. What has all the fighting been about between you all?

 

alexa137 - July 26

i know he loves me and probably wont leave me alone but hes moving out today--he just tries to act so hard! its so annoying we are fighting about that he cant get along with my daughter and i treat him bad-though i only treat him the way he treats me-when hes nice, i'm nice etc... we have been having problems since march-then i found out about anoother girl of course denied it then finally admitted it and when i told him i was leaving him he told me i cant than he needed me hmm... just thought about that maybe i should pull that on him! so i took him back(dummy) and it took awhile, when on vacation and then found out i was pregnant and now hes leaving no matter what

 

sa__sychick - July 26

Why doesn't he get along with your daughter (I'm not trying to be all up in your business just wondering)? You’re doing the right thing, treating him like he treats you. Have you told him that you need him now like he needed you when he decided to cheat and you wanted to leave but you stayed because "he needed you"? Is his reason for leaving solely because of the baby or is it because you don't get along anymore? I feel for you hun......been in similar situations. I know no matter what I say you won't feel any better but try and keep your head up and be strong without him.

 

PreciousBaby19 - July 27

I would clearly state to him. You are leaving then you will support the child..You may have visatation with your child. But you will not tell me who I can be in a relationship with. You aren't my mother and you wont tell me how to live my life. Make it very clear. Do not take him back. do not get pressured into an abortion. You may love him, but him telling you what you can and can't do is his way of controlling you. And you need to put it to a stop. I know its hard. But its best. You dont want a man controling you because soon you can't think for yourself. and he will control your kids as well. Goodluck. And I would love to talk about this with you.

 

alexa137 - July 27

oh so we talked and talked and argued and cried and he followed me to work bcause i was spying on him after he got off work( iwas in the next courtyard sitting in the gra__s waiting to see if he carried anything to the jeep-moving or not?) so about an hour of waiting he pulled off(with nothing) so i waited a few mins to go home and he caught me! i had to be somewhere so he followed me and old me we needed to talk, that what he found out will make him never want to talk to me again! i was shocked! he broke into my safe! now theres really nothing in there but some pics of him, good jewelry(that he bought me) and some diaries from many years ago but what p__sed him off was a pic of a naked guy( he was a friend of a friend a model out of town and it was 1992!) thats the past! also a list of men i was envloved with(its so old!) some i kissed some i had s_x with some just dated) and he was p__sed!i flew home( i beat him!) and tried to find the safe0he got here i told him that i was all about him i loved him and didnt think of anyone but him for 1 1/2 years! i had to go and later we talked and argued and i cried so much begged him him not to leave me that i needed him here with me that i didnt want to abortion that he wanted me pregnant and now its happened and hes leaving! he said no matter what hes moving with his aunt-i couldnt change his mind -told him that i thought this would make up a family, whole etc....still nothing-so i decided to give him back his keys( we were hiding everything!)playing games!>! and told him f---- you get out! thats changed things a bit told him i would be going out everynight to make up for loss time, we sat and watched tv and i just was kinda waiting to see its started to get late-he kicked off his shoes and then i knew he wasnt going anywhere! but whose to say maybe tonite?! :( so we went to bed of course had s_x-everyday since weve been together, like a daily ritual but this morning bfore he left for work he said you can hang with your friends tonight bcause i am hanging with mine-he probably has only did that 1-2 times since weve been together and that was at the beginning--so i said what does that mean? so i should be on the single scene? he said he wasnt going out(bar or club) he really doesnt-but i dont know im scared

 

PreciousBaby19 - July 27

Hun, You dont need that in your life. Kick him out of your house. I mean he broke into your private things. You shouldn't have had s_x with him even if it was a ritual. I know you love him, but this is only going to bring hurt into your life, and its only going to get worse. You tell him to take his things, and move in with his aunt cause he isn't staying there. I would get him out of your life, but hes still allowed to see his child if he wants. I'm sorry hun, even if you dont want to hear this. But you dont need him , and I know your scared, but it seems like he has no respect for you whats so ever. In fact, I wouldn't tell him your going to start dating or anything. Tell him to get out and not bother coming back, and if you see him spying on you or stalking you again. Get a restraining order.

 

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