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Well since the child isn't born yet, just wait it out. It's too stressful to think about it now. If you do file for child support he'll get visitation. If that is something you feel comfortable with do it. Don't do anything until after the child is born.

I know how you feel, I'm in the same exact situation. I'm 9 months now and I've lost hope in having any sort of help from the father of my baby. Saying he'll be there is one thing, but when he doesn't even seem to care what am I supposed to think? At this point I feel like I'd rather not have him around since I've made it through the hardest part alone. Maybe I'm just bitter but I don't think it's fair that he get to enjoy all the fun stuff after I've done all the hard stuff on my own. I just try to tell myself that if he bails then me and my baby are better off without him.

i am 36 and i am in exactly the same situation as u . i am 5 months pregnant . i got 2 other kids from a previous relationship as well . the father of this baby is really stressing me out . he is always making these empty promises 2 me all the bloody time and then letting me down . when i was a couple months into this pregnancy , he told me that he will be there 4 me and our baby . so far , he has let me down all the time . the fathers of our unborn babies are total b___ds which don't intend 2 support us and our unborn babies . they say that they will be ther 4 us and our babies but they don't really mean it ! thet are telling us alot of c___p . i have tried dumping mine but he keeps on begging me 2 take him back which i always do because i get so lonely and depressed if he is not there in person . i know it is very very diffcult now but try 2 be strong which i am trying do as well . we will get our revenge on them 1 day . don't worry . just try 2 keep very calm . think of urself and the baby .good luck

Well, you can't put him on child support until after the baby's born. But, I would DEFINITELY put him on after that. I think a good rule is... if you're not with the father... get it in writing. Don't screw yourself... protect you and your baby. (That goes for visitation too... a lot of people don't know this, but if you don't have a court order and the father takes the baby for visitation... if he should decide to just keep the baby there isn't much you can do besides wait months for the court to decide... and by then the baby will have bonded with the father... protect yourselves ladies!)

Another thing... technically Sascha's a little wrong with her "if you file for child support he'll get visitation" Visitation and child support are seperate in the court system. BUT.. she is right in a way that if you file for support that might push him to fight you for visitation.. which he WILL get. (which I think all fathers should have visitation anyway... even if it's supervised.. kids need to know their dads) So that's something to think about. and again these two things don't go hand in hand... so if you file for child support then that doesn't mean he'll automatically get visitation... he will only get that if he goes for it..

April is probably right. I don't want to file for child support or paternity with the father of my child, because I KNOW that it will make it easier for him to want to see the baby. Or it will give him a reason to see his child. You should check with a lawyer I know different states are different. I was reading another thread something about father's rights. So it's all crazy! I do know that men don't seem to get it that there is a baby in our bellies! Like even my father doesn't seem to get it. He knows i'm pregnant, but doesn't think 'motherhood' officially starts until i give birth. My dad also doesn't seem to think giving birth is a particularly tramautic expereince, but i'm worried to death! So, sometimes men can change after the baby is born. It's like, we know that we are having a bbaby. The baby is in our bellies and we are really bonding with it the entire time, but men they don't get to bond with or even see it until after birth. Just give it time, but I think it's good that you are thinking about it now. I'm about to give birth SOON (anyday now) and I've thought abut everything a million and one ways.

thanks for your comments! I'll make sure to see if he even does anything when our child is born and if not I'll just put him on child support cuz I don't need to get stressed over this espically when my family is behind me and supporting me 100% so I'm very thankful and glad for that!