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I live in Australia and im 37-38wks, i havnt heard from the father since i was about 10wks and it was an abusive phone call and then i hear that he is the father and he demands his rights blah blah blah,(this is coming from other people) and yet i havent seen or heard from him since the abusive call... and then a couple of weeks ago his parents started calling me ( they spoke to me probably twice while we were together) and telling me there plans for the baby and how they are going to do this and that, and telling me that i have to hold off until this particular date and the demands just keep on coming.. I dont even know them!! is it just me being hormonal and bitter? is it normal for me to resent them and the father for how little they gave a shit until it suited them?! i am just so confused. Meanwhile i have gone out of my way for it to be known by my ex that if he wants to know something or wants to be involved all he has to do is show a little initiative and ask.. and still all i hear is how a bad a person i am, even though he's the one who has decided to turn to a life of petty crime, and deal drugs, he doesnt even have a place to live, he just drifts from one mates house to the next!! does he deserve a break? i dont know!! i feel like i have given him enough chances and put up with enough bs to last me a lifetime, why should he or his parents be able to stroll in on their hour of leisure and take over? am i too harsh? do i need my head checked? i just am at my wits end! any advice or even just happy conversation to take my mind off of it.. thanks for listening to me vent.. XD
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Well Brunette you are trying to find answers and reasons for your feelings and that is admirable. It's always difficult to give advice when one hears only one side of the story. That is not to say that what you say is not true, but I am sure your ex and his family see another reality. I do not think your ex and his parents literally "want to stroll into your life and take over," but I am sure it feels like that, especially now that you are about to give birth! Do you think they will be there for the birth...have they mentioned anything...?Though personally I would not want them in the room, hopefully they can come and bring you something nice and be kind give you thier best wishes. Ideally, your child can have a decent relationship with its' father and its' grandparents, despite the differences you might have. But this doesn't have to happen already weeks after birth. You should take it easy then, do things at your pace and hopefully they will come around and want to help and support you--not make you feel like they are getting in your way. And yes, I do think you are hormonal, of course its natural! I am sure you will feel less bothered in a few months. In the meantime try to smile (even though you may think otherwise) and be plesant and show them that you are a strong mother. You will come out on top of it all if you do!!! Good luck and keep us posted. XX
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Hi Brunette.. WEll here is my way of thinking what your going through and dealing with. For your ex's parents Id think that its nice that they are trying to make an effort to be a part of there granchilds life and maybe they were unsure of how to approch you at all. Seeing as you said that you hardly know them. Im sure they will want to see him/her when the baby is born. I would let them but on your demands and requests. LIke perhaps coming over to your place to visit and stuff.. as for the father but im sorry.. If he's a drug dealer or uses i woudln't let my baby near him. Go to court when the baby is born and get sole custody. I dealt with a drug user and it doesn't get any better, now it's fine for him adn he sees his daughter but you can't trust someone who is using. Depending on what he's using?? Just try and relax though.. are you parents and family tehre with you?? I hope so.
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