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Since I was 13, I was forced to see a psychiatrist to deal with my problems. I’m scared because I am doubting that when this child is born, I wouldn’t be fit to raise her. I can’t even take care of myself. People say I lived a spoiled life, whatever life I lived, I didn’t want to let it go. In a month’s time, I’m going to have to force myself to support and raise a child on my own. I am already prepared to go through post partum depression, and I’ve heard that when you go through that, you end up rejecting your own child. I feel awful for having thoughts like that. I tried to opt for abortion. But when I was in the room with the doctor, all I could think about was my little sister. My mother gave birth last year, and she’s our little bundle of joy. I’m totally in love with her, and I couldn’t bare the fact knowing that I was going to come home knowing that I killed something so innocent. The biological father immediately got another girlfriend the week after I told him I was pregnant. I definitely wasted 2 years of my life trying to devote myself to him. He was my first everything. I was stupid enough to give up my chance to a better education, my friends, and family’s trust just to be with him. Today, single, 18, and 8 months pregnant, I am definitely the one at loss. I’m in a place where my family and friends are hundreds and thousands of miles away from me. I’m breaking down everyday, and I hate hurting my baby because of my depression. I want to be able to get over my depression, I just need help in trying to do so. I have never felt so alone in my life and it’s the worst feeling. Please help me make the pain go away.