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-Danii- Well coming from a guy this is going to sound weird but if you want to know my whole story look in the "I'm sorry" and "let it go" threads. But the real reason i'm posting is so that you most definitely read the "let it go" thread. I'm sorry you have to go through what you are going through but I hope that the thread i suggested helps in some way. Have a good night.

Heya OMG...sounds like me and you are pretty much in the same boat lol. I am 19 and the father of mine moved to his parents as well and gave me all the rights. Ok first thing to remember that baby is yours now so it needs you the most, during the begining of mine i was going to get a abortion as well because jeremy couldnt be there but then i got to thinking that was really selfish....you dont need a guy to have a baby thease days, me and you are right about the same i am 20 weeks pregnant so me and you are just starting to feel them kick, move and jump around inside us were just finding out the s_x, were thinking about all the times someone comes up to us and says "wow hes really smart for his age" and we get to respond "yeah i spent alot of time helping him learn that one" And jeremys parents ............lets just say im glad there not gonna be there lol. Dotn talk to them step back because you dont need any extra stress either, crying your eyes out about this (lord knows i did) wont make it any easier that baby is inside you there fore it knows when your happy sad hungry, and we dont want ya sad and stressed ya gonna have a sad baby =( Try to smile and when your sad forget about it *whispers* trust me if my adhd bi polar pregnant nineteen year old a__s can do this alone, you can =)

Well, I must say that it always feels good to know that you arent alone. and I guess I am not. While abortion has never been a thought for me, I did at times truly consider it because I am 25 weeks pregnant by a guy who has a drug prob and while I want him to get help I am feeling all alone while he is living in a "friend's" bas____nt and sleeping all day! He is not helping at all and we have a 14 month old too, yea my dumb self allowed myself to get pregnant by his loser self again! Well, whenever I call him he is sleeping while I am up all day and however many times at night with our daughter and when I complain him and everyone on his side just thinks I am being an unsupportive u know what! Of course I want him to get better, but I really had to seperate myself from him for now. Let him do his thing.Had to pick up a fulltime job and not depend on him for anything, and I try and hang out with my best friends as much as possible and just pamper myself to enjoy this pregnancy, and that's what you need to do. goodluck girl!

ok *E-rock* firstly i did read you "I'm sorry" thread. I didn't read all the comments on it because I don't think it applies to me. I have given Blair everything he has ever asked for. I have given him all my energy until i have had nothing left for myself. I gave him support and I gave him space when he needed it. He has given me nothing in return. He is always welcome to come to my doctor and hospital visits. He is always welcome to visit me. And I have made many heart felt pleas begging him to be as much of this childs life as he can possibly be. I don't want full custody. I want a family. He doesn't want to visit me. I'm moving 700kms away to be with my family in 2 weeks and he doesn't want to spend time with me before I go. I want him to touch my belly. As *Gailya* said, I'm starting to feel bub kick and move. It absolutely breaks my heart that he doesn't want to be here to feel that. As for the "let it go" thread...how do you let go of someone when your body craves to be near them? Craves to hear their voice? Craves to see their face? I've tried to cut contact for the time being to heal myself but he tells me thats not fair. How can I let go? I've tried.

Hi *Gailya* and *Del86* it really does feel good to know I'm not alone. Well I am alone here in my situation, but its nice to know that others know how I feel. *Gailya* this baby is not mine alone. Whilst the father is currently absent, he and his family have it in their heads that as soon as it is out of me, I will open my arms to them and welcome them to walk in and out of my life. I want to stress that I do not at any point want to stop Blair from seeing our child, beyond how I feel towards him, i don't think it is fair to our bub. His family....they're another story all together. I don't know if i can forgive the bad way they are treating me and I am hurt that they refuse to help me know when i'm begging for support but think i'll welcome them later. I just worry about the effect the fathers absence will have on my child. I know what it is like when he breaks promises, it sucks, but i can get over it. how am I mean to answer to my child when he breaks promises to it? And I am so aware that bub can feel my emotions, which makes it harder because when i'm upset I get even more upset knowing that my stress could be having a long term effect on it (i read something about stress hormones being transfered through the cord) By the way, do you know what your having? have any idea? I find out in 2 days, but i'm thinking its a baby girl. And *Del86* I feel your pain. Why should we be called unsupportive when their never here for us? And unfortunately even if they do get better and are fighting fit, it may not change the fact that they're not here for us. And how in the world are you working full time at 25 weeks pregnant? Especially with a 14 month old? Do you have your family around you to support you? I really hope so. Keep me updated girls

-Danii- first the "i'm sorry" thread was never meant to apply to you, it was so that you see the position i'm in before judging the fact that a guy posted on this forum. Letting go is hard, i'm not going to lie. The only thing that I relie on is the strength that I receive through God. My ex is 27 weeks pregnant and I know nothing about how our child is doing. I don't even know if the child is a boy or a girl; however what I do know is that God's will be done and I have to be open to that other wise i will cause myself more pain than is needed. Just know that Christ loves you and this child and weather or not you believe it everything will come into place in the end.

I understand that you dont want to deny your child the right to know who his father is were all diffrent and feel diffrently that doesnt make any one opinion wrong my personal choice was this. Jeremy will be in and out of wyatt's(my baby) life bringing about an unstable relationship with his father i myself have NEVER met my dad and i m just fine my baby needs me right now because in the end reguardless of the father reguardless of my family or his all my baby knows is he is inside me. My decisions effect him hes safe and warm because of me. I can provide stability, and me and wyatt can only depend on me. If one day when jeremy has gotten his head strate and wyatt decides he wants to meet his daddy i wont deny him that, but right now my baby doesnt need to be around anything but love, afection, and the care of people who WANT to be there. Jeremy is a jerk honestly, your lucky at least your babys father wants to see your baby the father of my child is so scared im going after his money hes decide me and wyatt can stay away from him and his money. lol sorry im a little resentful to ...bla bla ill shut up now! In conclusion Just make sure that his presnce in your life isnt going to hurt you and the baby! Much love and take care of that baby-

Because it isn't the babies fault that he is the way he is...this baby is an innocent child wanting and needing the love of his/her mother. You can only allow this guy to control you so much. You know the truth about him and you know that him getting all this attention won't die down because he found a way to get all the attention (I don't believe in depression) but either way, this baby didn't do nothing wrong, the father did. Don't blame the baby for your ex's actions.

And also, right now you have a baby who needs you more then you need him...thats what becoming a mother means...taking on full responsibility and making a better life for your child. You can't keep chasing after someone who don't wanna be chased. He is only going to thrive off the attention and he will never come through until he knows you are serious about this baby and serious that if he isn't going to be there then you don't need him. Even then maybe he just doesn't wanna be with you. Yes it hurts, I know I would hurt if my husband up and left me now, but I would do anything to make a better life for my baby and put my baby ahaed of my husband if it calls for. Also put the baby ahead of my own feelings. Its not about us no more when a baby comes into the picture. Its now ONLY about the baby.

*Nerdygirl* at what point did I say that I blame my baby for the situation I am in? I haven't and I don't. And you don't beleive in depression? Someone has a cushy life don't they. Lucky you. I am making a better life for my child, hence why I am giving up a job a love, my home and my friends here to move somewhere my baby and I will have support. How can I be chasing him if i'm moving 700kms away? Are you extremely ignorant or just a fool?

*E-rock* Firstly I don't believe in God and I don't see how believing in him will help my situation. I believe in the love I have for this child and the amazing moments we will share together and that gets me through. And secondly, I admire you for being a man and being on this site. I honestly hope that for those women out their treating the fathers of their babies badly that your words will give them insight and inspire them to be more empathetic people. I really feel for you and I hope that everything sorts itself out for you and your ex. I do feel sorry for her because she is denying herself the oppurtunity to share some beautiful moments together- my ex and I found out we were having a boy yesterday and I will treasure the look on his face for ever. Good luck, you obviously love your child very much

Your last question...HOW DO I LET GO AND ENJOY THIS BABY GROWING INSIDE OF ME? Let me rephrase, you can enjoy the pregnancy because it isn't the babies fault...meaning that even tho the baby is apart of him, its not the babies fault he is the way he is...and by me saying don't blame the baby (another words by not enjoying the pregnancy its as tho you are blaming the baby for his actions because the as mentioned needs the love and his/her mother) And you are chasing him now, by wanting him there and wanting him to do this or do that. He clearly don't want to and by you insisting and him not wanting to...its chasing, not to mention you can be half way around the world and still be chasing after someone...if you leave and keep calling and not allowing him to have time it is chasing. He isn't worth it and you should go and be with people who will support you. And no I'm not the fool...I'm just answering your questions and you took it the wrong way, and maybe I worded it wrong or whatever but by you not enjoying this pregnancy...you are allowing this guy to take control of you...you have every right to hate him, which you should he just left you cold and you left him in a situation as well. You were pretty much telling him, "hey if your not gonna be with me then I'm gonna terminate this pregnancy" (which I don't agree with abortions and think it is a way of killing an innocent child) You left it all up to him then, and if he is depressed thats not something you would tell someone who thinks they are depressed. Maybe not the words you used, but pretty much the interpretation of it. He is just as stressed as you, all you can do with this guy is wait til he comes around, otherwise you will be pushing him further and further away. If he choses not to come around, then all there is to do is get child support...so I stand by my statement...and chasing doesn't mean running after someone in a figurative sense but a literal one, and calling someone who don't really care to talk, or if someone refuses something and you insist...it is considered chasing. So yes, you are chasing after him. You view it as wanting him to be there for the baby, but in reality its called chasing. You want something you go after it...and you did by chasing after it...so call me a fool if you want, but I was simply just saying as well that everything is about the baby now, not you. Good for you on moving and good for you on giving up the job you love...welcome to motherhood, thats usually what almost every mother has to do...I'm doing it. I wasn't saying you weren't, I'm just saying that you have to let this guy go and move on (meaning leave him behind, not move out of town because you can still feel this way even though you moved away from him) and have fun being pregnant and if he comes around let him in, but don't push.

Correction...I meant doesn't mean in a literal sense but a figurative one so switch the two around

Heya nerdy girl and danni =) Well if jeremy wants to be apart of wyatts life one day and can accept that i am wyatts mother and he does have to show a certin ammount of respect towds me but in the end i know how you feel, it gets tougher everyday! At one point i did love jeremy much like you do the father of your baby and i understand its so hard to turn your back on him esp. when you have his baby growin inside you...took me a little while to just say jeremy "i dont need you but your welcome to come and visit" i respect that you have decided to bite your tounge and give him a chance because if there is a chance for that family to work go for it girl! But dont let that man walk all over you or your baby your gotta be strong =P yeah it does bother me i have never met my dad but not su much that i didnt turn out good anyway. I have learned there are plenty of hot, wealthy, (*snickers*)men out there who want a preggy girl. Belive me ive got a few taking me out on dates here and there. I LOVE MY STEPDAD hehe. I am moving across the country too its crazy to me how much alike our situations are. i am moving back in with my mom who lives 28 hours away from me right now. I am 19 weeks!!!! hehe im really spacey today..anyways MUCH love and take care of that baby =P -Gailya

And nerdy girl i understand what your saying, if he is "depressed" all he will do is make her depressed dealing with him. Shes gotta keep her head up and give the guy the cold shoulder it minght take sum time but once he sees that little babies face looking up at him he will develope a love for her because she is the mother of his child and as a woman we are phisically left with the burdons of our misteaks* as opposed to a man who can just leave. HOW TO ENJOY BEING PREGGY! 1.Get a baby name book I promise this is the best part of being preggy. 2.Indulge in cravings occasionally because lets face it you are creating life lol why not reward yourself. 3.Lay in bed for hours on end playing the ever pointless game "oo i think the baby just kicked" im telling you wyatt teases me just to be funny ill wait for him to kick for hours. 4. Read, Talk and communicate with your baby. He can feel all your emotions show him your happy by smilling and thinking about good things. 5. For one day, one whole day take the phone off the hook hide it from yourself. Dont call the baby daddy, have a feel god day just your and your baby, it will be hard i know from experince but by the end of the day you can know that hes at home thinking...."gee i better call her" hehe we women are so evil! love yaz!

Okay firstly I'm having a really spacey day too. Just have to stop and laugh at myself. Now *Nerdy Girl* there is a huge difference between having difficulty enjoying being pregnant and blaming my baby. Being pregnant is more than having a baby grow inside of you, it changes your whole body, mind and soul, as I'm sure you know. But it is really hard being by yourself. Its exhausting working all day, coming home to keep house and then doing everything you need to to be healthy. Its definately not a burden, its just hard. And I wouldn't say that I blame ANYONE. Not my baby, not myself and not even my babies daddy cos to say that I do would suggest I regret my decision and I DEFINATELY DO NOT. You have said you would find it hard if your husband left you so you don't know how it feels. Please stop a__suming how I feel towards my little boy and just accept that it is difficult. And hey you may not agree with abortion. Thats your trip. I personally think it'd be worse to bring an innocent baby into a horrible situation (which luckily mine isn't too bad). Yes it has you to protect it, but you can't stop all the emotional scars. You can't shield it from everything no matter how much you want to and sometimes I think it is worse to force a child into a situation that can be extremely negative, damaging and sometimes abusive instead of releasing it's soul to come back in a better situation. Again I am lucky my situation isn't that bad, but it was important to me to start this journey with the a__sumption that I would be with the father. Without judging anyone, I want to say that I have grown up with two parents madly in love and they're my rock. I couldn't live without my dad. He inspires me and has picked me up when I've fallen countless times. I know I can always count on him to be there for me. Is it really so wrong to want that for my son? And as for whats good for someone with depression (not to mention the fact that you don't "believe in it") how is it any better to not give him the option? Of course I left it up to him. I didn't want him to feel trapped and I wanted this baby to have a father who wants him to exist. And lastly, I'm not chasing him. I am allowing him to be apart of this pregnancy and I am not forcing anything onto him. I don't want him to do things just because I'm ha__sling him to. I'm allowing him to have the option to be there as much as he wants. It's very interesting that you state he doesn't want to talk to me and is refusing to do things i ask of him. I don't know where you got that from.