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btw about the drug thing, since i am pregnant there will be no drugs again in my life. i was wrong for doing them and i know it isnt right, and now since i am pregnant they will never be around. i thought id mention it bc it sorta sounds like i am a druggie or something and i didnt want to give off that impression.

confused- i think he has the right to know and i think that you should tell him and let him know that the only way he will be able to see it is if he is off the drugs and he will not be allowed to leave with the child because you dont trust that it will be around safe satble people and you dont want your child growing up scared. and that if he wanted to know and see his child that he needs to stay off drugs if not then dont come around. if he is that into drugs he will not bother to get a lawyer and take you to court for visitation.

I can't tell you what to do cause i have a 6 week old son by my ex and because he was emotionally abusive to me and th way he treated his kids i refuse to tell him cause I know he will come after me for my child and the fact of it is I am afraid for my son to be around him by himself and I know I am wrong from keeping his son from him and him not knowing I had his child but its for the best for the baby and you have to think about that baby. do what you think is right

I definitely think you SHOULD NOT tell him.... I told my daughters father and he didn't sign the birth certificate and forgot to pick us up from the hospital. my whole pregnancy he claimed she wasn't his. i forced a paternity test so I could get child support. Unfortunately now he knows she's his and he wants to take her for weekends all the time. It would be great but he doesn't take care of her properly. She comes home with bruises, cuts, scratches, diaper rash, upset stomach, etc. Be very sure you want this man not only in your life but in a child's as well. If he has a temper and a drug habit its probably best he not be a father. best wishes

thank you ALL for your advice and input. as of now i am not going to tell him. i always have time to tell him later, but once i tell him, there is no not telling him. everyone that knew the situation we were in when we lived together was afraid that he was going to hurt me... i am NOT willing to let him hurt this baby. i better go for now though.

I'm all for father's rights too... but I agree that you shouldn't tell him. At least not right now. Maybe someday he'll get his act together. In the mean time, if at all possible, I would try to collect some proof that he does do drugs and is abusive, just in case he finds out it's his and he takes you to court. They WILL give him visitation if he's the father, but if you can prove that he's a danger to the child, he will only be allowed supervised visitation. Do what you think is best... and congradulations on getting away from drugs! You're definitely a great and responsible mom! Your baby is lucky!

I think this one's hard. You follow your gut on this one. I personally believe in the father's rights but I also believe that confused needs to feel safe. She said she's scared of him!!! My brother and his wife are both in prison for 10 yrs for drugs (I've NEVER touched them) but they have a daughter together. My sister in law was pregnant with her when they went to prison and left custody with her side of the family. Me, my mother and the rest of our family get to see my neice pretty much whenever we want, however my brother has never got to meet his little girl. The family that keeps her will allow my sister in law to see her as often as she wants but will not allow my brother to. I know my brother, we're very very close, closer than any other two people in the family and I KNOW he still has problems but I think my beautiful neice, who he only knows through pictures, would have been... is enough to change him. He writes to her every single day, not a day goes by that we don't recieve a letter from him to her. She is now his only focus. He wants more than anything in this world to get out and get straightened up so that he can be a part of her life. He'll still make mistakes, I'm sure of that, but I think he now feels like he has a reason to try. Anyways, I guess what I'm saying is children are one of the greatest gifts God grants us and they can change lifes. People who seem incapable of love can be jello in the prescence of a child. He may end up finding a reason to clean up and pa__sion for life and be a GREAT father if she told him, or he may end up being her worst nightmare. As much as I believe in father's rights, I also believe that the child's safety and wellbeing comes first, so again I say you should go with your gut instinct on this one.