Is It Wrong To Put Father Unknown
37 Replies
| djh - December 27 |
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Hi Lier, you sound like a really good kid who finds herself in a sh**y situation. Thanks for forgiving me my harsh words. It will be good to hear how your doctor's appointment goes, maybe when peanut starts moving pretty good and your tummy really begins to swell you will feel better about all this. Just think, you won't be spending NEXT Christmas alone! Be well ok?
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ok honestly i didnt read through all the post but i do want to say that putting his name on the birth certifacate gives him absolutely no rights at all and in order for him to even be put on the birth certificate he has to be present and sign papers that say yes this is my child. All a birth certificate does is say who the parents are doesnt give him any legal rights to the child AT ALL he has to go through the courts for that so i say put him on the birth certificate that way they can look into his medical history for him and his family to see if there are any genetic problems. Birth certificate has nothing to do with lagal rights i know my BF and i had him put on our daughters birth certificate but we still had to meet with social workers so that he could be her legal father
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| vjr - December 27 |
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lier~ You shouldn't feel sorry for having the feelings your having and yes it does take two to make a baby and he is an adult to. I apologize for jumping down your throat before it's just that the line of work i'm in i see so many young women getting pregnant to keep a man around and never think of what they are doing to this child who didn't ask to be here. But now this baby is on the way and you need to get yourself healthy and ready to be a parent. Its good you are in therapy and you are working on your issues. We are all here to support you and there are tons of other resources out there as well, I can give you some if you'd like its hard to post websites on her ebut i can tell you how to find them...anyway again i am sorry for my words before and hope i can help you for hear forward.
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| vjr - December 28 |
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lier~ one last thought, you can not get child support if he isn't on the birth cert...not sure if that matters to you or not just thought i'd bring it up
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my vist to the dr when fine. they schedule a genetic ultrasound, I never heard of that. And as for money from the FOB, have you ever heard the saying you can't get blood from a turn-up. He makes no money, he hasn't made any trackable money ever. He has worked odd jobs and been paid under the table but that is hard to prove. And honestly I really don't believe he will. He has yet to shock me in the way he behaves, he has hurt me really bad by the his actions but when I look at the situation I really am not suprised.
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Once again Lier, your story is mine as well. Remember you cannot make a man do anything he doesn’t want. Do what you need to do for the baby, and don’t stress yourself out if you really want a healthy and happy pregnancy. His abandonment of you and the situation is a testament to his character and I know your hormones are buzzing, but don’t let your feeling for him give way to what he wants. He is really trying to get back at you because he thinks you got pg on purpose, and he will do it by showing no concern and providing no help. Do what is best for the baby, but never give your baby a negative impression of is father, he will find that out on his own as he matures. You dont want your child blaming you for his relationship with his father, existent or not. If that dad chooses to be ignorant. If he chooses not to help you now, then just do it through court.
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bottom line is it is your baby and you will be the primary caregiver and decision maker for the next 18 years..whether you put the name on or not or give him access or not you will be the one who is always there for your baby...everyone is full of advice but only you can make the decision for your baby's wellbeing and yes it is harsh sometimes when the good guy gets the short end of the stick it is much more harsh when that poor little baby/child sits around waiting for some deadbeat father who didnt find it covenient to him to come and visit his kid after he promised or on his regular visits and who has to mend that tiny little heart?..you..if he is doing this now he may not shape up..but no one can tell the future...the decision is yours and which ever way you go will not be wrong
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