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Well I am single, 31, 35 weeks pregnant and I am going thru this weird phase all of sudden that i feel I cant handle being a mom and wish I would have done things way different. I feel like once this baby is born my life as i knew it will be over. no more fun carefree times. I havent written on here before so some of you might remember me, but my ex (babys daddy) has been back and forth thruout my pregnancy and i know he is not good for me or the baby and i need to stop taking him back. The first time he dumped me i was almost 3 months along and i felt it was too late to have an abortion, but for some reason now im wishing i would have. and i know i couldnt do adoption because i would really want to kill myself. i know i sound like an awful person but im not its just what im feeling. anyway i have been having weird thoughts of suicide and weird things not positive things. And its scaring me. Everyone around me is scared for me. I feel like i will just be taking care of my daughter and working and having no more fun or social times or dates to even find a good man. i feel like its all over for me, why am i feeling this way? why am i such a stupid ass. i put myself in such a stupid situation with a guy that doesnt give a shit about me or his daughter and now my life and my daughters life is ruined. we will struggle for the rest of our lives. theres is no hope for me and i feel like i cant take it any longer. is anyone feeling the same.? i know i cant turn back time but is it ever going to get better?
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Do you wish you had the abortion now that the father isn't around? Have you not bonded with your child at this point? Your life is not over it is just beginning. You'll have new social events in your life, kids birthday parties, Im sure some family members will even help you babysit so you can go out. The situation you are in with your babys father is really weighing you down. Stay around positive people, go to school to learn a hobby, focus your mind on something positive to keep these negative thoughts away. You can also look into open adoption, or if you'd prefer just adoption. I just hope when you have your child in your arms you can look into his/her eyes and do what is best. Good Luck.
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Dear Christine,
Your life is not over and what it sounds like you are going through about having doubts is completely normal.
Your life will be changed forever but I believe it will be for the better. You will have so many new things to see and do through your childs eyes.
I think all women go through this stage when they are approaching parenting for the first or even second time. You sound very strong and I think that is great :) Please never think of suicide as it is not the answer. If you feel like you need help please call a suicide hotline number 1-800-784-2433. This is an American suicide hotline. They can also help you with pregnancy depression which is pretty common and services to guide and counsel you through your pregnancy and birth.
It sounds as if you need a support system and I hope you can get it.
Please never think of suicide. You have a beautiful child on the way and a long life to live.
Sending you support over the net!!
Nicole
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Please do not think suicide. You have to think positive, everything happens for a reason. When you have a child life does change... but for many people life gets better. Having children, raising children is very hard work but also very rewarding. Consider adoption if you are not ready yet. Find a family in your area that wants open adoption (so you can visit). There are millions of familys that are ready to have kids but cannot (my husband and I cannot). Many adoptive parents want the birthparent invovled.....so find that kind of family if you are not ready yet.
But please never harm yourself. You obviously are a good person because you are reaching out for help. People who do not care do not ask for help :)
Hang in there!
Melissa
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Christine please let us all know if you are ok. You have us worried. We live in Illinois can we help????
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Yes I am ok. Im still here. Thank you all for your words of encouragement. It's really nice to know there is support out there. I do also have a lot of support through my family and friends and I do appreciate all of it. I am really going to try to start thinking positive about everything but its so hard for me. My heart right now is not in it and its scary. Hopefully things will change and everything will work out. I will just keep praying and try to remember what you all say when i start to sink back into the negative thoughts. I will also be seeing a therapist this weekend so maybe that will help also. And I may even get on medication although I really wanted to b___st feed. But we'll see. Thanks again for all your great advice and support and Im so grateful for this site. Take care everyone and I will keep you posted.
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I made the decision to leave my babys dad when she was 6 weeks old. I was only 19. I was scared and pennyless and moved to a different state. I was ALL ALONE. I also got really depressed. But it did get better. One of the best decisions I ever made was to get involved with a program called Early Head Start. Look for it in you community. It is the absolute best program and helped me and my child tremendously. You will get aquanted with other mothers, some who are married, adn some who are in the same situation as you. I would also advise getting involved in some sort of church groop if you feel comfortable doing so. I was scared at first that people would look down at me for the situation that I was in because of negitive experiances in the past, but I found a great church and wonderful life long friends and a great support system. My daughter is in first grade now, I am married to a wonderful man, and expecting a new one soon. I know it's tough now, but it will get better if you just hand in there and keep positive and keep striving for a better life. Good luck
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