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i got pregnant about a year ago,the 1st baby in the family about 15 years n now i just found out my cousin is now. it just bugs me a lot!! has this happened to anyone? i don't know if i am just jealous. i haven't liked that side of the family,their all rich and flashy about it and shes all married and i am single and sooo perfect. it's not fair that we got preg close togeth. i just feel like my little one won't get as much attention from the family i suppose,we hardly see eachother but atleast she will have a playmate at xmas. has anyone gone through this? i don''t want to tell anyone. i feel bad for feeling this way but there it is. i just have to get others advice, and i don't want to tell anyone else because they may think i am a bad person.
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oh and why did they have to be so close? what a coincidence!! maybe i just miss being pregnant. maybe i am just resentful because she has it all??i guess i just felt special because i had something no one else did and now not far later they have it to!!!!!
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I think what you are feeling, whether right or wrong, is completely normal. Here is my story - my son was the first baby on my side and then about 8 months after having him, my brother adopted a child. While I think adoption is great and the child will have a better life, I was really sad for my son that he had to share his grandparents' attention. I felt very selfish for feeling this way, but I couldn't help the way I feel. I wish I could say it gets better, but I was very jealous at holidays (my son had to share his first thanksgiving and christmas) and still am sad that he has to share attention and its been almost 2 years. So, I guess I have no advice to give (sorry). Just know, it is normal and understandable to feel the way you do.
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I can kind of see where you are comming from b/c you don't like this girl very much, but if i were you i would be happy. My dd is the first grand child on both sides and none of my cousins have had kids yet and i don't think they will anytime soon and we are not very close to my dh's cousins. And none of our siblings are close to having a baby (at least i don't think they are) While my dd sure does get a lot of attention i can't help but be a little sad that she has no playmates for holidays and family gatherings. I always had cousins to play with and that is what i loved about holidays and family events. I fear it may be several years before a cousin or second couisn comes along. I'm afraid she will be board and not look back on holidays as fondly as i do. I know you see if differently and it doesn't make you a bad person to have those feelings. Just remember this neither your baby or her baby will remember the attention or lack of it they received as babies.
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jenna: i can't see why you're upset or how you came to feel this. are you the type of person to hate your own second child because you feel it will take away from your first? your family doesn't have to plan their family around you and what is convenient for you and you need to remember that as you're too old and have way to much to worry about. oh yes and you still get 9 months before the new baby gets here. i don't think you're jealous of the baby anyway, just the fact that you THINK your cousin has it all. would you rather she be miserable and hate her life being pregnant? because it seems that would make you feel better about it.
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