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Please do not kill your baby. I know how you feel. My boys are only 11 months apart, and while it does get hard, it's not as hard as it's made out to be. Do you have any support system? Because if not there are so many people who would want to adopt. It is late in your pregnancy so it would hurt the baby to be ripped apart. Good luck in whatever you choose.

hi nameless. i am strongly pro choice but you are already to far along for an abortion. go with adoption. i know it sounds difficult to give a baby up but it probably is your best option. get an open adoption. you can get updates and photos and maybe even be able to see him from time to time. you can pick who can raise him and get your life together for your daughter. i understand how difficult this must be for you.

abortion

I should have learned my lesson many times over, but I just don't. I was pregnant at 18 and had an abortion. It was heartwrentching. When I got pregnant right after that I decided to have the babies. I delivered two baby boys and gave them to a nice family. I never regretted my decision to give them up for adoption. When I was 23 I gave birth to my daughter and I've been raising her for the last 5 years. I, personally have never found it a struggle. The WORST decision that I made was the abortion. I know that the boys I gave up have a good life, a life I couldn't have given them. And I also know that the child I aborted never had a chance for life. I had the abortion at 6 weeks also. 4 months is a long time to wait to have an abortion. I believe the have to cut a hole in the babies head... it's very terrible! With my adoption I consider it blessed. I'm blessed as a very fertile woman. I consider myself the vessel of bringing life into this world.

April.......you know I'm PAYING for you to be on welfare. You know how much I had to pay in TAXES last year? Nearly 40 % of my income. The whole welfare system should be abolished. Instead of using your brain to get money and using the whole capitalistic system your out there taking from the can's.

Alisha... for some reason you seem to think that I've never had a job in my life... hrmmm... maybe I've paid taxes too... and maybe I'm just getting some of that back until I can get back on my feet... ever think of that? And FYI... I'm only on Welfare until I can either finally get the child support from my daughter's deadbeat dad... or finish my medical transcription course and start working. There's nothing wrong with people being on welfare when they need the help. That's what it's there for.. and it's a good program as along as people don't abuse it. Maybe you should quit complaining and have a little compa__sion.

You need a new accountant if you are paying 40% of your income which I doubt. No one Who uses their brain pays 40% of their income in taxes. The people who pay the most taxes out of ignorance are the lower middle cla__s, middle cla__s and the working poor. Even then its on about 25%.

I said NEARLY 40%. 40%=income tax, property tax, sales tax, all the taxes I pay on the telephone, cable bills...etc.. Think about it.

Alisha... yeah and exactly what percentage went to Welfare? do you even know? I think you really need to get off your high horse... this is the second thread you've been rude to me in.

Well, welfare is not the only thing I object too. I am a charitable person. Private organizations are set up and should be set up to help those who other wise can't help themselves. This would take the strain off of society and the individual tax payer. I help and support the economy everyday by spending. If I could take back half of what I had to pay in taxes I could have created more jobs for women (i'm self employed and employ other women). This is basic economics. Also, most people are held back because of the lack of education. There should also be an education reform in this country. I think that could amerliorate the problem. . It was Franklin D. Roosevelt, who set up welfare, who said, "The lessons of history, confirmed by evidence immediately before me, show conclusively that continued dependence on relief induces a spiritual and moral disintegration fundamentally destructive to the national fiber. To dole out relief in this way is to administer a narcotic, a subtle destroyer of the human spirit. It is inimical to the dictates of sound policy. It is a violation of the traditions of America." You can read all about welfare and the economics behind it here: http://www.cato.org/research/welfare/welfare-reform.html

April, I am not being rude to you. I am stating things the way I see them. These are my opinions (and most of my opinions can be backed by facts). Developing tougher skin will help you get further in life. If I had everyone "hold my hand" and sympathize with me (even when it wasn't justified) through the rough c___p I've had to deal with I wouldn't be the successful, iron-willed, woman that I am today. We are both single mothers who had to find a way to deal with it. I honestly believe that if the welfare system wasn't available to you you would have found a way to make it work. By finding a way you may have turned yourself into a much more resourceful, educated woman.

That's all well and good.. but what if I'm using the system to help me while I become an educated woman? As I said before.. I'm not sitting here expecting the government to pay my way forever... I'm working on getting off of welfare as soon as possible, and am in college training for a very rewarding and fulfilling career. The reason I chose to do this instead of going out, getting a job, and throwing my daughter in daycare is because I felt it was better that I raised my daughter instead of paying someone else to do it (especially based on some research I read about children turning out better when their moms stay at home with them until at least age 5). That and the daycare center in my area is HORRIBLE. There is no way I would ever send a child there. Heck, last week they let a little girl run right out the door and didn't even realize it. Another reason I chose to do things this way, is because I will be able to get through school a whole lot faster than I would be able to if I were working. So then I will be able to get a good paying job, with full benefits, and still be able to work -at-home with my daughter. Eventually I want to buy my own house, and yes, start my own business... and you're absolutely right.. if there were no welfare I WOULD find a way to make it work, but lucky for me, there are programs put in place to make life a little easier.. and this way I can get back on my feet faster and am well on my way to providing a great life for my daughter. Perhaps before you judge you should consider other people's situations. Also, FYI.. it's almost impossible to find a good-paying job in my area... since everything's going out of business... and starting your own business is a lot easier said than done. Just because you've done something doesn't mean everyone else can, everyone is different. Sometimes people need a little "hand-holding" every once in a while when they're going through a tough situation... and there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with it.

When I said "educated" I didn't necessarily mean a college education. Keeping yourself informed, always reading books (both fiction and non) is a great way to keep your mind going. If you can give me supporting evidence to show me how the welfare system helps the economy I'll believe you. You'll need to give supporting facts and not a__sumptions based on an emotional response. Bring it on. Also, what if you paid lower taxes? You could have taken the extra money and done what you wanted with it. I'm sick of this, "I pay into the system, so I deserve it, reb___tal." Really, do you want anyone taking your money every month and telling you how your going to spend it? This would dictate that you have to place X amount to charity, X amount to food, X amount to the road system, X amount to housing? I don't.

i never have been on welfare but stop judging alisha. welfare is such a tiny portion of the national budget. more goes to the military than anything else. its practically half the national budget. how can single women even get off it when day care costs are so high and employers can get away with paying nothing. wastse comes from spending to much on roads and subsidies to energy companies. look on what we spend on that. or the military to maintain it. what actually goes to helping people is nothing compared to other wastes in our government. so what april made a mistake but she is not planning on staying on welfare forever. to eliminate it we need a living wage. most welfare mothers don't have more than 3 kids and do not enjoy being on it. if you want to complain about the high costs of taxes join a campaign to stop sprawl and the milt_tary machine.

the libertarian system of government does not work. companies do not trickle down their extra savings onto people. the rich have been getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. in this country ceo's make 425 more than the lowest paid worker. we have more poverty in this country than any other industrialized nation. i don't like welfare either and people don't like to be on it but when wages are so low at the bottom and day care is so high it will continue to exist. what would be better than welfare is help with day care. that way more people could work and pay into the system. Fixing the day care problem wouldn't even cost much compared to all the other waste that could be eliminated. i saw estimates under 1 billion and we spend nearly 500 billion on the military.

I would like to say, I am sorry you are going through this, this is not an easy thing to do, adoption or aborsion. I am only given my oppinion from a couple that wants to adopt. I feel there are so many couples out there that are unable to have children, I know you are in a bad situation, I feel you will have many regrets on an aborsion, and that procedure can also risk you from having children in the future. I had a friend that had an aborsion and she had so much scar tissue that she is unable to have children. These are chances that one takes. I always believe in taking a bad situation and turning it into a good situation. If you know in your heart you are not ready for a child, look at parents that are not able to have them. Give them a gift, but when searching if you choose look at an open adoption so you can always have some kind of contact with the adoptive family. I know when we find our birth mother, we want them to be a part of our lives. But before making any moves, know in your heart what you want. Dont jump into aborsion until you have read all the research, Dont jump into adoption if you are unsure, this will only break hearts of those waiting. I would be happy to tell you my adoption exsp. again the mom changed her mind, but I know how the process works. You have plenty of time to think it through before choosing the parents. please email me with any questions, I would be happy to talk about my exsp on both adoption and aborsion. Some is confidential and dont feel I want to share it on the board, but would be happy to chat. magic4u2c at adelphia. net