Pregnancy Info HOME

Lol lifegoeson, I have that same problem with my daughter trying to type too.Sorry about the profanity in my last post, im just tired of hearing people tell us what we knew and didnt know. Im sure when the lady posted this subject she didnt intend to get arguments started.I hope all of you "other women" get what you are looking for in life and good luck to you and your children. As for the wives, im sorry you had and still have to deal with the pain of cheating husbands.If you are trying to work things out with your husbands,try not to throw it in his face with every argument that comes because he took the first step to admitting it to you and even know the chance is very small, he just might change. Some will probably never change but take life one day at a time and remember what doent kill you, will only make you stronger.:) Good luck to the wives, and i hope things can work out with your familys. :)

To know ur facts; your language on our website is disturbing, you can't blame the way angry wife feels she's angry and hurt , she's probably in the beginning stage but time will heal her and hopefully she's make the right decision,but it do sounds like the wives are suffering the most due to bad choices.i hope angry wife gets the help she needs and you other ladies truly learn from your mistakes. know ur facts how is angry wife a greedy ---- you sounds like you(the other womens) wants some of the wives finances, and i thinks when angry wife expresses her opinion she's might be speaking of the woman in her situation not you ladies in general. i hope the wives and the other women will truly over come what they now have to face god bless all of you!!!!!

Me too: I had the same issues, 3 children oldest being 15 youngest 7. And in addition to the situation itself, my child's father is black. I had multiple situations. I waited until I was 7 months. I also am close to my childrens father and he was supportive when i spoke with our children, he actually was with me when I told them. Do not get me wrong he initially was angry that I was placing our children in this mess and was not happy when he found out james was not around. He had a few words to say and even contacted my sons father. My first 3 childrens father and I had been sep. for 4 yrs, but were not divorced. The father of my son was sep. also (not because of me or the baby that was not known to the wife) and not divorced. Because my children knew the baby's father it did make it a little easier. I let them know that mom and james have been dating for four years and I found out I was going to have his child. I let them know that I was sorry because my actions were wrong. Because they knew him, they had questions and all I could do is hold my head up high and answer them with honesty. I never spoke bad of him, rather I told them this was hurtful to everyone and he needed some time to make sure he could be a good father. I also let them know that this is why we always have to stop and think before we act. My son is 7 months old and they have loved him without any difference. Their father still sees his children everyday and is a wonderful, supportive friend. He sees the baby more than my sons father, but that is because he takes a very active role in his childrens life. I am proud that I raised my children to know we are not perfect, yet mom did not act responsible. I am proud that they have no prejudice and never was that a question or problem. How well you have raised them will factor in on how they adjust, but it is very important to ask for forgiveness and to let them know you did make poor choices that have hurt people. our actions were wrong and I would never want my children to think everything is okay, dad is fine, mom is fine, baby is fine, and james (my baby's father) is fine so these things must be okay. I thanked them for loving me, but I also let them know that my actions were selfish and much hurt has taken place. Like I said before in postings my babys father is coming around in his time and we are dating again, not like before but he is attempting to be better. If you ever need to talk off the postings I will be happy to give you my email. ANGRY WIFE - vent all you want you have that right and you have the right to feel what you feel. You are the owner of your feelings! KNOWURFACTS - your going to be alright, but try to let go of some your anger regardless of were your directing it, your health and the babys health need to come first. It really will get better - time does heal.

To $$$$, What finances would i want from the wife?Lol, thats funny.I dont want no ones money but i dont think i should be the only one to suffer so if the man doesnt want to be in my childs life then he can pay for her.If i wanted her money and his money i would have filed with the attorney general the second my child was born 16 months ago.I am the one saving up for a dna test even know i already know who the father is, not him.And HIS money has nothing to do with her anyways.HE goes to work for it not HER.And if you read what she wrote she was directing her name calling towards the other women on this site.She needs to be angry with her husband.No one forced him to cheat.He did it himself.I dont see these women holding guns to these mens heads and forcing them into s_x.To LIFEGOESON, i have no remorse for what ive done.If id have known he was married and i kept on then i would have been sorry.It doesnt change the fact that i did what i did though.I have since gotten over what ive been through and i have no anger towards my situation.On the other hand, i dont think its right for Angry wife to come on here steriotyping everyone because everyones situation is different.She thinks shes the only victim.She wasnt left with a child to support by herself, she is not the only one hurting.As the other woman, i would probably never know how it feels to be in her shoes but SHE will never know how it feels to be in MY shoes.She will never have to worry about her kid asking why her father dont want her, she will never have to worry about finding someone who cares for me AND my daughter, and she will never know how it feels to be a single mom.She thinks her life is hard maybe she should be in our shoes.Now i understand she is angry because of the situation but she cant go blaming the people who have never even seen her husband for his mistakes.We are triflin and we are chicken heads to her but then she expects us to feel sorry for her when shes saying rude things to us? I dont think so. I refuse to let anyone say im horrible because i brought a child into the world without a father or in the situation that its in.If she thinks this is bad then maybe she should look at the people who get raped but still keep their babies. Just because my child was brought into the world under these circ_mstances does not mean that my child is not going to get that extra love her father is supposed to give.She is taken care of just like all of these married couples kids are being taken care of.

dear life goes on, first of all YES emailing off this site is okay with me!! I have done the same with another "ow", and it helped me a lot. More and more our situations do have their similarities. My husband and I are separated and have been for over 2 years. He knew I had an affair, and he knew who it was with. He just did not know it had continued. A very long and complicated strory of course:-( Anyhow, just as you have described the father of your two children being active in their lives that is the same in my case. And he has already told me he will accept this child as mine, and that is all that matters. He will love and respect this child, and that just wowed me to say the least. Sure he was hurt and disappointed, but on the other hand "what can he do" was his words. In regards to telling my daughters, I know the time is coming. And the thing is they do know the father, but God this sounds just horrid, but then this whole situation has it's shame, but they also know his wife and his daughter. So I can't just say we were dating, etc. The girls' father just told me tonite he wants to be with me when I tell them, and honestly until you mentioned in your post about you doing the same I had not really given it much thought. I have known for about a month now, and it feels like so much longer. The father went from wanting to commit suicide, to being severely depressed, to suddenly vowing he is on his way to being a new man by giving his life to God and asking God to watch over me. Don't get me wrong, I think that if finding faith helps him I am all for it. But I also know one visit to church, and a few vows to oneself do not make any of this change or easier overnite. What we did, and what we feel won't be forgiven instantly because we decide that is what must happen. I hear in your own words and post that you have found faith and that has pulled you through. But I hope you understand for me it is going to take time, I do not expect to find God in my soul instantly and then suddenly llife will be good and all well. Am I making sense here? I know for me personally, the wife wants me to abort, miscarry (that is the hardest to realize as I am still at the point where wishing ill and such a horrid thing on another is wrong) and/or expects her husband to force or insist I adopt my child out. That I have been posting on this site about that in hopes I can try to find "acceptance" in my heart and life for her words. She wants to erase all traces of me, and that to me is understandable. But as she too is a mother I am trying to comprehend how she can wish death on a life and that be okay. Or how she can wish me to miscarry which will cause me physical pain and is a scary thought. I want to find it somehow someway within me to "accept" how she can feel this way. I don't want it to come to me tomorrow, but I really do want it to happen in time. As in time the process it takes for me to get there perhaps I will better understand. I try so hard in my life to stay positive and so often I am able too, then I find myself here venting, sharing, confessing and so much comes up. Thank you for your words. And let me know if you are still interested in outside emailing?

I have to say this, and one thing that gets twisted and turned so much in all the posts is the married men and us "other women" knowing whether they were married or not. I guess to some defending the fact that they did not know the man was married helps, but honestly what difference does it really make now? If we knew or did not know, it changes nothing. We loved or deeply cared for the man, we found ourselves pregnant, we did not intentionally get pregnant, but no matter what we have done the responsible thing for our own beliefs and that is allow a life created a chance to be. The fact of his marital status and our knowledge of it, really has no bearing on us as women any longer. I have not heard from a single woman on here that they are proud of dating a married man, but we all are sorry for all the pain caused by EVERYONE around us so how we got here shouldn't have as much bearing as how we proceed. And no matter what we thought we knew or didn't know, I can bet every woman was completely unaware of the reality of the pain truly felt by both sides until the baby came about which is when the situation really changes.

I really believe angry wife is only acting naturally. I think she is speaking from her heart and the ma__sive hurt and betrayal she is feeling , and I do believe she also takes in what has been said on here as well as directed at her. The fact that she is bold and brave enough to type so candidly is really getting her way too much negative and hurtful venom. I cannot deal with the wife in my situation, but in reading her words and feeling her raw and unedited pain as well as the pain from "!!!"( another wife on the site) I have begun to realize so much. I myself got riled up at one point, but since have realized that she is a brave woman to come here when most of the postings really are from other women. I have read her ask fair questions, and not just condemn. This site and it postings basically tend to run full circle as the woman change constantly. But we all came here for a reason, and that reason is support. The wives can get support here as well as learn from the various other women what they are feeling, doing, learning, and so on and they can ask us questions. And we other women are able to get support and advice from those like us, but also hear from wives and perhaps address them as it is not always possible or safe in our own lives.

You are going to be a great mother to this child and by your words you seem to be a good hearted person. You can email me at myangel95@hotmail.com if you need anything.

Me Too... I agree with lifegoeson. You are going to be a great mother/teacher to your children. I also agree with you when you say that there is too much venom posted towards not just us wives but also you other women. Life has dealt us a hard b__w, and we all have to recover from it. I do not see any point in writing nasty things to any of you other women, as i believe that we all learn from our mistakes, and we all have to live with the consequences, whether that be raising a child on your own, or building a new life with your husband. We each have to find a way to forgive and carry on with our lives, which will of course take time. It may take some longer to adapt than others, but it will happen. I must admit that when i found out the other woman in my husbands life was having a baby, i too wished the baby would be no more. I dont know if that was because i lost my baby or because of the situation i now had to face up to. Its not something i am proud to admit, but every feeling and thought that you never dreamt you were capable of somehow pops into your head when you have been hurt and betrayed in such a way. I have now had to get a restraining order against the other woman in my situation, as the phone calls and text messages were so full of vemon and hate, and even threatening at times. Its not something that i wanted to do, but i feel she has left me no other choice. Know your facts... It seems to me that you still dont comprehend what it is the the wives have to deal with. Because you are pregnant/have a baby by her husband there is now no way that you will ever be out of their lives, she is the one who has to deal with the consequences. This was not the wives fault she did not tell her husband to sleep with another woman, but even so she is the one who is left picking up the pieces. I know that you also have a lot to deal with, but if this man had never commited to you before, he was probably never going to. You say that what money he earns is his, but when your in a marriage what money is earned is usually spent on the home and the family, so you are in fact taking money away from her as well as the emotional side of it. You do have a right to ask for financial help from him, but do it for the right reasons, dont do it just so you can get back at him for hurting you, because if thats the only reason your asking for money then it proves to the wife that you are out for everything you can get, no matter who your hurting in the preocess. Please take the time to listen to what im writing, im not writing this to have a go, but to try and help you understand a little bit about what it is the wife is feeling. I understand that your hurt and that you have a lot to face up to (like raising a child as a single parent). I have seen both sides of this as my best friend has also been the other woman and is now a single parent. Its just a shame that reality hits home only when there is a baby involved.

You are right, ill never know how the wife feels but our situation is most likely different then everyone elses. I was not the only person he got pregnant while cheating and i most likely wont be the last.When she married him she knew he was cheating with her, after they got married she knew he was out there seeing these other women.She knows he is still cheating with his other babys momma so i dont feel bad for her at all. She stays knowing hes never going to change and yet she has the nerve to blame us because her husband is out there cheating. How am i supposed to feel bad for her if she keeps putting herself in that position? I dont think anyone deserves to hurt like that but she needs to stand up for herself and stop trying to change him,She needs to move on if shes tired of it, not stay and blame everyone else for her being miserable with him.Im tired of hearing about how they cant leave because they love him.She needs to realise that if he loved her he d__n sure wouldnt be out there screwing around while she supports his lazy a__s! His wife is young and very beautiful and even know she has a child, I know she can find someone better. No one can help her if she dont help herself.I tried to tell her she deserves better but she says im just trying to get her to leave him so i can be with him.WHY on earth would i want to be with him now that ive found out how he was married? If he lied about being married, chances are that he will lie about being with me.

Speak for yourself, I got pregnant by a married man intentionally. I knew he was married and didn't care. I KNOW most (not all) of these women knew or atleast had an idea. So don't play that "I didn't KNOW CRAP!" (U know who you are). And YES it does make a difference. I have no sympathy, and don't expect anyone to give me sympathy because I PUT MYSELF in this situation. I DESERVED the name calling, all the DRAMA. I could have easily said No, turned away before feelings where involved. I had the upper hand in this situation to end it before anything began. True, this guy was a Dog, would have cheated with someone else no doubt, but I should of had more respect for myself. I was young and stupid. It was Hell, but I created it. He didn't want anything to do with me, stressed a whole lot. I ended up having a still born at 6 months, and almost died...more emotionally than anything. I have no comunication with him since then, he moved out of town with his wife to "work" things out. I look back on things, and if only I could go back and change everything. I just hope that women realize that decision like these AFFECTS EVERYONE. Stop before it happens. I truely regret what I went through and really sorry for my mistakes, but it couldn't have come at a higher price.

!!!, I actually for some reason can accept your confession of also wishing the child from your husbands affair to be gone. Yes it still stings, but I also read in your words and feelings that you got past that and have tried your best to come to terms with the situation you are in. I want to find that same feeling within myself for the wife in my situation, but no luck as of yet. I am sure it is going to take me some serious time to even begin. She knows me as a mother, and as a woman. That makes it more difficult for her I am sure, but it also brings me more feelings of disgust and pain as well. There is no simple solution, and to her killing my child or continuing to hope I actually go thru the pain of losing it seems to be her way out. I can't comprehend it, probably never will. But I do realize at this point in time no matter how far I move forward or how strong I may feel, I cannot let go of what I feel for her. Again I don't want this feeling, I hope to find a way to accept, but I can't yet. I have had to fight a very hard battle the past couple of years, in so many ways. And the way I feel right now is that I have fought too d__n hard to be where I am now. Which is alive, but also open to constant growth. I cannot let anything set me back now, sure there will be little set backs, but I have to move forward and find good in my life and focus on that for the sake of all my children. I do hope in time the mother will allow your husband visiting rights, will he ever fight her for that right? I know it is all so new still, so to fight may be giving her just what she wants. Him actively in her life. Should have's won't work in these situations either, so hopefully in your life as well as mine things move forward and we are able to find some peace.

Know your facts.... If what you say is true, about the wife knowing he was having affairs, then i wouldnt feel bad for her either. When i found out about my husband, i had my bags packed and was ready to leave, i dont know why i didnt, but i do know (and so does my husband) that if he was to ever do it again, no matter how much i love him, i would not hesitate to walk out the door and never come back. I can forgive once but not twice. This woman has no right to condem you for what you have done when she knows full well you are not the only 'other woman'. No matter how much i love my husband and want to be with him, i want my self respect more. This woman is obviously blind to what is really happening, and it is something she needs to realise by herself. I do now understand why you have written the things that you have, but i do need to add that we arent all like that. Yes many of us choose to stay, but speaking for myself i can only forgive once, if i ever found out that my husband had done this again there would be nothing to hold me here. Me Too.....The wife in your situation wants the one thing she cant have, and that is to have you and your child out of her life. It doesnt justify the things she has said, but she probably thinks that if you and your child were no more, then the reality of what her husband has done will never have to hit home, its something she would never have to deal with. Im sure that in time her perspective will change, but she will always remember what it was that happened between you two. Once rational thinking comes to her, she will then start to move forward. I found that i couldnt 'forgive' my husband until i had forgiven the other woman. If i wanted a healthy relationship and life with my husband i would have to forgive both of them.

I have also seen the other side of an affair (from the other womans perspective). My best friend was in a relationship with a married man which also ended in her getting pregnant. The man in her siuation told her that he was getting a divorce, which she believed. He even bought another house to make it look like he wasnt living with his wife anymore. The wife in her situation had a lot of hate for her (to the point of physical violence), which is something my friend could not understand (why was she violent if they werent together anymore). It was only after her son was born that she discovered that they were never getting divorced and he was still living a married life with his wife. He promised he would always be there for her and their son, but within months of him being born she realised that they were all false promises. He now doesnt see his son (his own choice) and he has only ever spent £200 on his son, which was for a crib when their son was 4 months old. He didnt even want his name on the birth cerificate. My friend now says that leaving him was the best thing she has ever done. Her son may not see his daddy, but what sort of life would he have if he did. Her son has the option to look for his father, but decided that if his daddy didnt want him then he wasnt worth knowing. He says he is happy knowing that mummy loves him enough to live through all that hell. He has never once blamed his mother for not seeing his father, if anything he repects her for making the choices she made.

I COMPLETELY agree with you. i mean who would just settle for left overs. i woudnt, i woudnt even be able to live with myself, if i were to sleep with a married man and when we are"done" knowing that he is sleeping with his wife after. EWWWW!!! everyone their own taste.

!!!, I hope you are right about the wife in my situation. I continue to hope for both our sakes there is a point in time for both of us that the bitterness subsides. I am not a demanding woman, but I have made it extremely clear that until this child can be an ent_ty of it's own in their lives I will not allow my child to be around negative. I cannot stop the father from seeing his child, I would not do that anyhow. But since I will be nursing as well , visitation will be basically null in the beginning anyhow. I truly do not expect the father to be much of a father, more like a "God Parent" or "uncle"who comes around when they feel like it or when it is convenient. It does matter to me, but nonetheless my child will be accepted and loved by those I choose to keep close and the father of my two daughters is already wanting to involve this child in his life. Not in a subst_tute way, but in his eyes this is my child and that is all that matters. I too am coming to accept the same. When I asked the father if he was interested in dr. appts, being at the hospital, and being informed of the pregnancy his answer was" I am not sure" and "I think so". Well either you know or you don't, so until he makes requests his answers are his fate. I am not going to expect, ask, or even suggest anything to him. What he wants to do with his child is up to him. I have very little respect left for him at this point, but that is okay. I do not need his presence for this to be a happy and healthy baby. He is the one who will be missing out, and should he allow his wife to dictate as she is, eventually it will be something they have to re-evaluate not me.