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c....The reason I was asking about your husbands involvement in the pregnancy is because of the situation I now am in. The husband has been forced basically to choose his wife and child over me and this baby. He is not allowed to talk to me, call me, or acknowledge me other than support payments. I am coming to terms with this, but as this is his child I would like to think he would want to know about the progress etc. I cannot continue the affair with him, that is over. I commend you for your approach to this whole situation, allowing your husband to do what he feels is right is something I hope he truly appreciates!! Good luck in your continued journey!!

C- I also would like to commend you. I am sure the situation is extremely difficult but it is so nice to hear a wife that thinks about the baby. It is such a shame when people can not rise above the emotions to see the child as the number one priority. You have a good heart. Best wishes...

Sometimes my husband thinks it is weird how I support him totally on this. He thinks sometimes I want this more than he does. I will never forget how excited he was when he got that call from her on Sunday and she asked if she could drop her off for 2 hours. I cried I was so happy for him, he laughed at me, finally he was going to get to be involved in her life. It was very exciting.

Dear C, you do sound too good to be true...lol . In all seriousness I don't sense any bitterness on your part, did you have any towards this woman? How long have you been married? The fact that you ard your husband were separated must help this make some sort of sense to you??, but the fact you are able to see past the mother and focus on the baby is what I find myself respecting most in your words!! For the sake of all of us mothers who made the mistake in our situations but have chose to move past that, and ourselves focus on the babies I hope more wives can have as much compa__sion in their heart as you do!! How old are your own children? How have they dealt with the new baby and the situation? Thank you for responding to all my questions!!;)

To me too.. I just want to say.. I hope the mother of my husbands child will grow up and have the outlook as you do..I feel it will make things so much easier for the children envolved.

Me too - I know that it is strange for me to be so supportive. When I told people at my work that I have a step daughter on the way, they would say "oh I am so sorry, it must be very hard" and I just say everything is fine. I knew before we decided to work things out. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. Sure I had bitterness against the other woman she was so sure that my husband was going to come back to her. I was also upset with my husband, not for the fact that he had a girlfriend, but that he was not safe with her for pregnancy and STD's. They only dated for 5 months, they barley knew each other. I knew that if it was going to work between us I had to forgive him and we had to move on. Our kids are 6 & 4. They love their little sister. They always want to see her and when they do see her they are always wanting to hold her and love on her.

c.....You are awesome, my man has a baby on the way with another woman....just being honest I can't stop thinkin how i wish she loose that baby. I know it is selfish I just wish my life would go back to normal. I commend you.........God Bless you.

Lisa - is the mother civil or is she still trying to cause problems?

C....Oddly enough I don't see you as strange for being supportive, you love your husband and you have accepted his child wholeheartedly. May I ask you how you described to your own children the circ_mstances of the new baby? My own children are 6 & 8 and they have just been told I am pregnant but not who the father is yet. My situation is much more complicated, but they know the man and I have stalled a bit just to find the right way to approach the situation. Just as you mentioned you had to forgive your husband, I find I am needing to forgive myself, the husband, and the wife for her hurtful wishes on me and my child. I know that when I can reach that point this will become so much easier. It seems so very far away, as there is still a lot of hurt between all of us. As long as her husband does what she says, and that is ignore me and baby she says she can deal better and feel peace and safety.

C...I think you have wonderful outlook on life, the mother of that baby should be very happy that her child has a stepmother like you.. I know what you mean by being upset because your husband did not protect himself from the sitiuation and STD that is what I said. My husband only dated this woman for 2 1/2 months, they barely know each other also..it's crazy but my husband and I are closer than we were before..does that make since?

I really can not believe how many men are running around on their wives. It is really shocking to me. I know I have learned a lesson like no other from this situation. My advice to anyone in the situation or thinking about it....I'm sure you have heard it before at one point or another but "he is not going to leave his wife!" Please get out of the situation before more people are hurt.

New2motherhood......She is still causing problems, I quess when she has a bad day she wants to call not him but me. I got our phone number changed at home but not my cellphone. She just calls to say tell your man he is responsible for this baby....he will pay i didn't do this by myself I let her vent for awhile then i just say while okay i will let him know i don't understand why you call me so much you weren't calling when you thought everything between you two were good. Anyways he want answer her on his cellphone thats why she call me. You may wonder how does she know my cell cuz one day he call me at work to say she keeps calling the house for me to call the police so i called her(from my cell)i told her i have been nice but you really need to stop calling my house which she did but she was still calling him playing(cell) on the phone so he asked if i would change the number. HE swears that it is not his baby she is just crazy. I don't know if i mentioned this she use to do my daughter hair. YEAH both of them are dead wrong but for now I am just waiting for a blood test. I don't have any reason really not to believe him but I don't trust him anymore just for her saying it so that's that.

Me too: We told our kids that their sister has the same daddy, but a differant mommy and she will live with her mommy. They were confused, they didn't understand why she was not going to live with us. They never did ask why she has a differant mommy, thank goodness. I think they understand it better now. The baby is already 4 months old.

hurt & betrayed - that is funny that you say that you and your husband are closer now then you ever were before. I say the same thing to people. We rarely ever fight, we just are much more happy with each other!

C...I am glad your children understood, I have been separated from my husband for quite some time and my children are older. My oldest is like I was as a child and very wise for her age, so she needs to know some form of the truth. I just got some books in the mail today, and one explains nicely how a baby is made so I must now also begin a abridged version of the facts of life. Just as I want them to understand that the father of my baby, will still like them etc. I understand completely I must take responsibility for my situation, and thank you for your continued words and answers.

Lisa - Im really sorry you have to put up with all that. It is frustrating to be the other woman (unfortunately I know all about it) but I she is making the situation so much worse for everyone. Men tend to make a lot of promises when they are hiding something & the other woman wants to believe it all. Once that is taken away and you are left with the baby and he gets off scott free you do feel like lashing out. However, she needs to grow up, she is not funcitoning in the best intrest of the baby. Hope things calm down!