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to trying to move on: Thanks for your reply. It is good to know there are people who care enough to spend time writing to me. Here is my updated situation: I told him about the preganancy, and offered him the opportunity to walk away. He said he loved me and wanted to take care of me. He said he was excited and scared. He wanted me to move up to him; I said no, and I made it clear that I would not move in with him as long as he is still married. He told me this morning that he started to work on divorce now but did not know how quick it would happen. He wanted to make sure that his wife and children (all young adults now) would be taken good care of ( I sincerely hope he will deal with his family issue well... I have cared about his wife and kids since the time I realized he had a family, and that was part of the reason why I tried to break up with him). Yes, I do love this guy... even though I did have questions about his morals for cheating on his wife a couple of times ...but I kept telling myself that every one made mistakes and it was his past and he would not do that to me for our relationship would be different... Am I just being stupid?... After long telephone conversations during the past couple of days somehow I could picture us building a life together someday... I am not certain what is going to happen. I just keep telling myself that I have to stay firm with the bottom line, that is, I won't build a life with him as long as he is still married.

I am sorry to say but you are stupid..a homewrecker you should be ashamed. I do not give a d__n what anybody says you are in the wrong to try to split up this marriage for even being with him, do you really think you are going to change him. I bet you a dollar to a donut he will not be with YOU!! Wake UP!!

To the above poster: I appreciate your concern. Do you believe that there might be some homes that were already wrecked long before the so called "home wrecker" appears? Some times it is just so easy to blame the other person instead of looking at the real problem in the marriage and working on it... I would be genuinely happy for them if they could work their issues out and be happily married. For me, I was divorced and I knew I did the right thing for I was never in love with my ex. And I am glad that my ex, whom I still care about as a family/friend, never called this man a "home wrecker" (although any outsider may say so) for he knew the real problem between us. I don't think I can change any one; a person must be willing to change him/herself for any changes to happen... But I think I am willing to take the risk of getting hurt if that is what it takes to find out the truth...

dear seeking advice, I am one of the women on this site who is pregnant from an affair. What I have found is that there are no concrete answers or solutions, it can be so frustrating at times. Some days more so than others of course. But I have made it 5 months pregnant now and when I look back it has been such a rollercoaster ride!! I am not with the father, nor will I be. Long story short our relationship was changing for me and finding out I was pregnant changed things even more. I am not proud of the situation I find myself in, but I am pregnant I have 2 other children and my choice to keep this baby is what I am moving forward with. As we all hear so many times the man I knew is different now, but then I too am different. Being a mom has different considerations and perspectives than being the man who does not have to deal with the pregnancy on a day to day basis. In my situation the wife does know, but they have kept it a secret from all others. I have had some complications so she has insisted it be kept a secret in case I lose this baby and they will be relieved etc. But my baby girl is healthly and I don't see my miscarrying as she hoped. Finding out it was a girl and giving her a name has helped me bond more with my growing baby vs. focusing on the emotions and drama of this situation. I do still talk to him periodically and he of course makes vows of how he will be to our child. But more and more I try to focus on me, my daughters and my new baby girl growing and continuing to deal with our own reality and life situation that I am a single mom and that is a situation no words, promises, or actions will change. I try to not be bitter (although yes some days it is a struggle) and am finding the promises of others that it gets easier is slowly a possibility ;). Just know my dear you are not alone and there are others who are dealing with this daily and who will offer you support as you need it. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, won't change anything so I do encourage you to keep talking on here and sharing your thoughts and concerns. Best wishes!!

Dear Me Too, thanks for your encouragement! And congratulations for having a healthy baby girl! Sometimes I think being a single mother is easier than juggling with the complications when the father's married family is involved... I also think it is a good thing that your new baby has older siblings. When my 4 year old went shopping with me for her Halloween costume, she even helped choose one for the baby in Mommy's tummy. She is so excited about the coming of the new baby and already looking forward to share her toys with it... Yes let's be strong and make best of the situation. Thanks again for your kind support. All my best wishes are with you too!

You all are sick. You are acting as if it is ok the have a married man baby. What in the hell is wrong with you women??? I have never in my life seen so much poor taste. Women you need to get a grip on life!! The world is already screwed up and you are bring more babies in it without fathers around. I would be so ashamed. Have fun letting the children know how they came about. Happy as Hell it is not me!! WHORES!!!

To the previous poster: Do you actually think that that we give a d__n what you think..We are not saying it is ok to have babies by married men, we are saying that if you make a mistake and it ends up in a pregnany and if the woman decides to have the child, then u better believe it is d__n well ok if she has the child, no matter who it is by.. As for the name calling if "I" am a whore as you see it because my son is by a married man, then I guess whores have good lives, because despite the hurt and pain I have experinced and the trials I go through on a daily basis, I thank God for my child and the joy he is in my life...I have two other children by a single man and have went through as much or more with him.....As far as explaining to him(my son), i will tell the truth and u best believe after all the love and support he will have growing up, I doubt he will care who F****** who to allow him to be here..Excuse all the language everyone else I am just tired of hearing all the trifling mouths when they don;t realize it is already done, we are pregnant or have the babies and there is no way to turn back time, but there is a way to stop, help someone and keep someone from making the same mistake...Because as funny as you think it may seem, he had/has feelings for me and i the same....To trying to move on: I am so glad to hear from you, I will write more later but this was just to let other hateful people know..WE DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK!

It is plain as day you do not care what people think look at you. If you cared you would not have done what you did. But you said it yourself MISTAKES!!!! Does it make you feel good knowing your poor child came from a mistake. Woman I do believe you need help form somewhere beside here. And by the way you are posting on the NET you better believe there are ALOT of people out there who do not care what YOU think and will say how they feel in a minute. Too BAD sweetheart

Looks like yet another bitter woman lashing is lashing out at stangers because her husband couldn't keep it in his pants. Why don't you take some time out from bad mouthing others and try to straighten out the issues you SO obviously have!

To the bitter one: TO correct you my son was not born from a mistake, but I made a mistke in sleeping with his father and got pregnant..since I found out that I was pregnant at 4 weeks I had the option to get rid of the child if I wanted and I chose to have him, so therfore it was not a mistake that he was born...thank you...So if you would stop worrying about how others live their lives or trying to bash them, then maybe you can get a good nights sleep and stop caring how/when/where/ my son was conceived or born....

I hope those thoughts keep you company at night while your husband is out with his "friend"

Hey, I really like you... You are so noble and you have every right to label and condemn people you don't even know... Bravo. I am sure for such a perfect woman with perfect morality you must have already got everything you deserve. Let's just pray that the husband you BELIEVE that loves only you will always love you, for you have such perfect moral superiority that you won't hesitate to curse strangers. By the way, there are bad news you may not even bother to note: a) Those husbands who mess with other women are more likely than not to have wives who strongly believe that their husbands only loved them. b) It happens that many women condemned by folks like you have somehow been proved to deserve beautiful babies... Even worse, through the hard time they deserved to have with these married men, many of these condemned other women actually became more mature, more independent, more confident, and even happier in their lives... What an unfair world to righteous people like you! I sincerely hope your husband won't contribute to the growth of any other women, for I happen to strongly believe a husband should only stay with the wife (no matter how boring or unbearable the wife could be), instead of seeking excitement or comfort outside the marriage.

Boring and unbearable? LOL!! :) It is funny if the wives are so boring an inbearable why do the husbands stay? Please answer that..why do the husbands not go be with the woman that is carring his child? Can someone please answer that? Man that is something I would really like to know. Please woman all you were was a piece of a__s and trying to make yourself feel better wbout the c___p you are in. LOL!!

To the woman who made the comment about the woman who said her husband loves her, u made a good point in saying that the "wives" whos husband cheated probably thought that their husbands "only"loved them too. TO : TO ALL, well the husbands stay for a lot of reasons, guilt, being comfortable, other children, caring what others think, and so on.. it is not our job as other women to find out why they stay, it is only to be responsible for the children we bring into this world...Frankly some of these men do the right thing and stay with the wives and also take care of the "baby" by the other woman.. it is so many different situations and events that we could go through but whats the point..AS far as saying that we are a piece of a__s, well then what do you suppose people get married for, yeah, love, to have children but when you break it all down, it is s_x...the one thing that all peole who get married or not do...One of the definitions of marriage is the legal union of a man and woman so that they can procreate ( have s_x to bring babies, if u didnt know), .so we are all getting the same thing it seems, some just have the man stay the whole night and help pay bills...anyway enough from mr from now...

I enjoyed you more and more... It has been a long time since I read anything with such a cute hint of hysteria. As to your questions, although only the cheating husbands can answer, I happen to have some married men as friends, and a few of them happend to initiate affairs with other women. So I am glad that I can help you out a little. :) The reasons they gave for not leaving their wives (for now) included: a) wife could be very bitter, and crazy. He did not know how to deal with the bitterness from wife. b) wife threatened to kill herself. c) for the sake of kids. d) for the sake of money-- they had joint account, joint tax return, joint property... he did not want to lose money by divorce. e) he still cared about wife (as a sister, which was his very own word), and both he and his wife could not imagine how she could live without him. He was tired of babysitting her and would rather live with the other woman whom he really loved, but he did not have the courage to hurt the wife more than ever. ... These were just a few reasons given by the husbands. It seems that if a wife is bitter and hysterical and overdependent, the husband will have a difficult time to leave her. With that said, I guess you should not worry about your husband leaving you... lol... To understanding and all:This is my last reply to the bitter one for I believe I have more important things to do. Please ignore any bitter postings unless you'd like to have a little fun or you'd like to help the person grow up. It is not surprising that postings from certain people could be very bitter, for the more secure wives would not even bother to visit this website. All my best wishes to those (including the bitter one) who are trying hard to make the best out of the worst situation, or out of the not so perfect life. Stay calm, and grow stronger.

The reasons you gave above are so true. I being the "other" woman with a child by a married man got honestly told by the father he couldn't leave his wife because of those reasons. He went on to say that he knew I was stong and would be okay without him. He said it was one of the things he loved about me. However, he didn't think she would "make it" if he left her. He is right she wouldn't but it is really hard that since I am strong and independent I get c___pped on and since she is crazy and suicidal she gets taken care of. Oh, well that's life I guess. To be honest I would never want the situation to be the other way around.