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If you are sure women do this , such as having baby out of spite you must also realize that her life is not going to be easy. Having a child is never simple, and no matter what the man is also responsible. If he took the chance of her getting pregnant he also knew what he was doing. My main concern is always the child, nothing is ever their fault. And I just hope that all around the child remember that and love the child as itself not just a product of a disliked situation. I am not here to argue a point please understand, just trying to perhaps stick up for the unborn child. Opinions can be helpful, but condemning just is not fair.

I also feel for the child and would never condone punishing an innocent child for the irresponsible behavior of two consenting adults. My only point is that there are women out ther who indeed get pregnant out of spite. The saddest thing is even though it is the responsibilty of the man and the woman a lot of times the woman still ends up alone and gets stuck with all of the responsibilites and the man just walks away. Either way, its not the child's fault and that is an awful situation to bring a child into...

Oh and you're right condeming is not fair and not our place to do. But if you knowingly do this for your own selfish reasons you will reap what you sow...

Well to "boogie"..ur husbabnd had an affair, girl pregnant, u are so sure she is a b___h..WHAT ABOUT YOUR SO CALLED MAN HONEY.. u sound like a fool fighting for him b/c he CHEATED ON U... so figure out why he is stepping out, u do not even know what he told that woman.. and be sure to remember the baby did not want to be here so make sure u don't mistreat it...and if women like u would make ur husbands responsible instead of acting like he was wronged then we would not have so many of these situations...

Yes the married men tell these outrages lies and when you find out the true facts you are already caught up or crossed the line with these men. For them to go to these extremes their is something missing at home. A lot of the women don't know your men are married. Put your anger in the proper place.

Well, I agree that the man should be accountable also because it takes two to tango. And a lot of the men do lie to the other woman. But it is not necessarily true that something is missing at home. To be honest, some men are just dogs and if there was really something missing they would just leave their wives. Lets make excuses for the men because chances are if he cheats on his wife, the on he made vows to, he will cheat on you too. Anyone he is married can tell you that it won't always be perfect but the bottom line is you both made a commitment and in a commitment you choose to stay committed. You don't run out and have an affair when things get bumpy. That's what marriage is. So don't say something is missing at home cause that is not always true. The problem sometimes is lack of commitment and others times is he wants to have his cake and eat it too. The other woman has to stop thinking that you can save him and make him happy the majority of the time it doesn't work like that because if he cheats on his wife he will cheat on you too...

Okay I will reword it something is missing and yes I do agree some men are just dogs and no marriage or relationship is perfect but something has changed missing but something is going on but when it comes down to it a marriage is a commitment and should not be broken regardless of what the problem is or if something is lacking.

tell me why married men cheat with single women and the women are blamed?? It seems funny b/c he took vows not here she is free to do as she pleases but dog men, confused men, lonely men ,and selfish men see another women and think d__n, wish i were not married...then one day they decide to say F*** my wife, i want a new woman, and then he usually pulls into a web of deceit some unsuspecting single woman...and then all the bull starts....to all the wives, if he did it to u once, leave, b/c most likely he wil do it again.....

Men may cheat when their wives think everything is fine at home. He may want his cake and eat it too, he may know there are certain things his wife won't do or deal with and seek another. Or another may just end up being a part of his life one way or another. The issues at home may be his own, and he is not man enough to sit down with his wife and openly talk to her and let her know how he feels. We all change in our lives and in our marriages, but if we never ever allow our spouses into our hearts and thoughts then we are truly hurting ourselves as well as the one we love. So to blame the woman from the "affair" is not always right. If he lies and says he is not married he is wrong, if he says he is married but still has needs and tries to convince himself that what he is doing won't hurt his wife as long as she never finds out, of course he is still wrong. But just like the woman he is asking and consenting. The woman is not to blame, they both are. He took his own chance at jeapordizing his marriage and he must be held accountable. Should the woman become pregnant (and I understand some believe there are women who do it on purpose, and they are the stereotype) it must be understood he took the exact same risk as she did. Maybe he fell into the trap of "it won't happen to me" or if it does he feels he can give her money and she will just deal. Many times the man does this and he still gets to be intimate with the woman, but again that is not all women. I was on the pill, and in the extremely small percentage that become pregant on the pill and now I must deal with the circ_mstance. I do not say consequence cause that means I will resent this child. I could also terminate this pregnancy, but that is selfish and only saving his a__s. I will do what I must, and I have given him the option of being part of it or not. This is my choice and my life, and I am sure I will get many different views on this. All I can say is this is what happened, obviously happens and I am being responsible enough to handle the situation I have found myself in the way I personally feel for my life. Oddly enough I am not bitter, and have absolutely no intention of telling his wife. That would mean I am punishing him and demanding he accept the decision I have made, and that he said only I can make. We all have our choices, and I made mine based on the reality I have a child growing inside of me and it will and can be loved as it deserves!!

Ok, but doesn't your baby also DESERVE to grow with his father by his side, to have a real family? What done is done, but for other women in the same boat, men and think it's all fun and games...The children always suffer at the end, I just hope your children have a good support system to get through the confusion and questions of Why does my daddy have another family??

Amen,me too! You know what the funny thing is? No on can judge you but God. And the good thing is is that God is a forgiving God. Remember all sins are weighed the same. (except blasphemy and suicide) I am in the same situation but I chose to give my life to God and face the mistakes made like a real child of God. There is no point in committing another sin by having an abortion. I no longer deal with the childs father although he would have rathered us still mess around. He already said he wants nothing to do with the child because he already has a family. I wish I would have known all of this before. But all I can do now is accept it. I have no desire of even contacting the wife because I am not trying to hurt her but I am praying to God that He will bless her with a better man than the one she is with. I thank God for this opportunity to give life and will not take it for granted. I thank God that he has forgiven me for my sins. And I thank God for all of the mothers on this forum who are trying to be strong and start a new life with their child. I will pray for us and the children because God loves us enough. Forget the rest. They were put on this forum to make us strong. We will be alright. Stay strong and be blessed.

you are a sinner that has to pay the price for your sins... You let your naive emotions out think your logic to thinking that this man really loved you now you have to take care of the baby alone and you still don't get the man- was it really woth it silly goose?

YOU HAVE BEEN DATING A MARRIED MAN FOR 2 YEARS AND FELL IN HIS TRAP! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT 2 YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO INVESTIGATE HIS HOME OR FAMILY HISTORY- COME ON NOW - YOU CAN'T BE THAT WIPPED? SISTER WHERE DOES SELF WORTH AND JESUS FIT IN - YOU SHOUL HAVE KNOW HE WASN'T A REAL MAN OF GOD IF HE DIDN'T HAVE THE DECENCY TO BRING HOME TO MEET HIS MA-MA STUPID MOVES - ONLY BRING STUPID RESULTS! LEAVE HIM ALONE GET THE CHILD SUPPORT MONEY AND LEAVE TOWN AND GET SAVED! THEN MAKE BETTER CHOICES IN MEN! OH AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD YOU HELP CREATE!! think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is what I just don't understand?? There are women on here who have found themselves in situations that they find difficult for their lives. But then there are those of you who just type hurtful, negative, and condemning messages. What do you really gain from tossing stones yet not having any solutions to back your anger?? Every woman on here who is using this as a pregnancy info site as it is just that, has kind words and is encouraging to the others. We all have our own opinions sure, but to just come on here say horrid things and nothing in a positive note just makes me feel sad for you as you must be in a position of your own and need to seek guidance elsewhere. Because your words on here obviously are not helpful, and I am sure if you feel better afterwards it is only a brief release.

TO "THINK " AND "BLESSED" first of all i think it is clear that "we" have ALL sinned, but what u are forgetting is that the name JESUS/GOD that u are throwing out died for our sins so no one has to forgive us but him...and no one said that while dating the married men we never found out..what was said is that there is a problem now and "we"( the other women) are crying out for help and support from those who are going or have gone through similar situations.. it is easier said then done to advise "us" to leave the man alone b/c it sometimes is just not that easy...when emotions and emotional attachment become involved along with love, it becomes real life issues..b/c everyone is/has/been with someone they want and can't be with ..vice versa...and with the comment he hasn't brought u home to meet ma-ma, well honey u don't know anything b/c there are those of us who know ma-ma, daddy and the whole family, I speak from experience..my son knows them and they know me very well, they understand how things happen, not condoning it , but not judging me or him(the married man who is also apart of their family)...I advise u to find another forum to post ur judgemental thoughts on b/c u are wasting time and space for those of us who really have something to say...

in response to the one who questioned my baby deserving to know it's father and family...sure my child deserves it. But only the father can decide if he wants that or not. What I am doing is what I feel is right, I am having this baby with or without his support. Wrong or not, this is my choice. I have told him he can know this child, and I will never deny him contact with this child. But right now he is worried about his a__s, his family, I am of minimal concern. So just as I must be strong for this baby, I am being strong for myself too. This is not a time where we can sit and feel sorry for ourselves, we must be strong and the men can only do what they want at this point. We choose to have this child, and he gets to go home to his family and not be the one who deals with the baby. But complaining about this will do us no good, if we choose to carry this child then we are wise and strong enough to know we can do this!!