Pregnancy Info HOME

To understanding... You should be very proud of yourself. I hope you now feel like you have your self respect back 100%. Like you said you deserve to be number 1 in a relationship or at least number 2 after your child and not another woman. What you have done must be very hard, and will continue to be just as hard or even at times harder until one day it isnt an issue. If you find it difficult being in on your own with him, then dont, ask a friend or family member to be around when he visits. He may think by doing that that you cant resist him, but what it will really mean is that you have stopped letting him control that part of your life. His wife too will in time realise that you are now doing a good thing and helping her, yourself and your child get though the situation with no chance of history repeating itself, and she will then be able to start to forgive you and her husband for what has happened. Im saying this as a wife as i know that if the 'other woman' in my situation had done this i would have been able to move forward and build my trust with my husband a lot quicker than what i am at the moment. The other woman in my situation is still trying to get my husband to go back to her, my husband shows me text messages she sends him asking him to go back to her and have a life as a family in her home. My husband shows these ma__sages to me so that i can start to trust that he has learnt from his mistakes and will (hopefully) never do it again. She has even sent a message saying that it is my fault she is in this situation and i dont deserve to have children with my husband, and this was proved when i miscarried. My only wish at this time would be for her to realise the things she has said and done and apologise to me and to let my husband see his son. We all make mistakes, but its only when we face up to that that the mistakes can be put right.

To "!!!" well it has begun, after our talk yesterday he showed up at my house at 9:15 last night, and rang the bell and beat on it until10:20, I finally opened the door and he was asking why am I being "mean" to him, I advised him it was over.. I had originally threatened to cal his wife but i did not b/c i did not feel like her acting like i was lying and he was not there..and then she would of contined to cal l me allnight b/c she wouldof thought I was trying to upset her.. if I did not want her to know where i lived, i would of called and siad please come get ur husband(smile) anyway he begged and pleaded unitl about 11:30 then got angry and said he should of known that I would f*** up his marriage and then not stood by his side...as I remeber correctly his marriage was already over, as he said, when we pursued he relationship.. He is sucha part of my life that there is going to be longggg days ahead..i have one sister in town and one best friend so he was the majotrity of my company.., he comes and keeps baby, fixes car, everything I have done in the last two yrs has involved him, but I am going to join a gym and find other thing to do to keep him away..thanks for lstening..also to "me too" i sent you a email...

To understanding.. You have reached the 1st hurdle and jumped straight over it..Well done!. If he askes again why you are doing this, remind him that he is the one who has lied and cheated his way not just into your bed but also his wifes, who he clearly is not going to leave. In order to keep going you need to remind yourself that he is the cheat and the lier, he is the one who has made a lifetime of false promises, and if this still gets hard ask yourself if you would be able to trust him if you were to carry on any sort of relationship with him, whether he was still married or not. If he can do this to a person who he declared his undying love for and made vows to then he wouldnt think twice about doing it to you. I want also want to thank you and apologise to you and all the other 'other women', because if it were not for you i would have placed all women who had affairs with married men under the same bracket as the one who is in my life, and this is clearly not the case. Keep up the good work (by that i mean sticking to your guns and bringing up your child). There is no doubt in my mind that you are a very good person

And The Moral of The Story Is..... don't get involved with a Married man, especially when you "KNOW" he's married be prepared to face the consequences. If you were comfortable being the "other woman" then that's all you will ever be in his life. Have self respect and dignity and know you can have a man that can truely be "yours", and live the life you truely deserve.

I am now at a point where the wife knows, and she thinks I am selfish and horrid for not terminating this pregnancy. Her husband wished I had, but now "says" he has accepted this. And now she is demanding a blood test, proof of my pills, and proof of due date. I will only allow the dr. to furnish a piece of paper validating pregnancy, the rest of the information is mine. I do understand this is difficult for her as well. But the impression I am getting is that I am the plague. I do want to ask any of you women a question.... i do not believe in termination for myself. So due to the circ_mstances I chose the only option I know, but the father wanted me to abort, now the wife is p__sed I didn't abort and says i am wrong to bring this child into this world. As wives in this situation( please be honest I will never see your face or judge I am just really trying to get some outside input on this) Did you ever wish the other woman had aborted? Since the baby being born have you thought that? I don't understand, have never been around this kind of situation and just really want to try to understand how others may feel about this. She knows who I am, she knows the kind of mother I am but because this is her husbands child I should not keep it because it means it will take away from their life. When all I can really think about is how unfair to this unborn life it is to just terminate. I really do welcome thoughts on this. I feel so naive, but I do need to hear from others.,

This is directed to "me too" the father of my child wanted me to aborty as well but my child now almost two is the biggest blessing in my life. You made one mistake by being with a married man don't make another by ending this innocent child's life that's taking the easy way out. It will be hard don't get me wrong but the pros out way the cons so much more. Focus all your energy into you and the baby and everything else will come in time.

reply to channtai. I am not terminating honey, never was an option for me. I am just trying so hard to understand how people can think that if the baby would go away then life would be fine. Just as I found out today, she is instructing her husband to not pay me a penny til I show proof of pregnancy and when I do they will get a lawyer. Well not only was he married but he was my boss, so I am now no longer employed as having me around was no longer convenient. So apparentely I have my work cut out for me. Thank you for your advice, I am most definitely keeping this child. Not at all for him or for what we had, but because it is a life and it deserves to be loved as my daughters and I will. There is not one member of my family who will punish this child. Unlike the wife is plotting behind my back to do to me. She wished for me to miscarry, abort, or for him to lobby for adoption. Like I don't get a choice in this. She said my child will never have a happy life in this situation. Uggghhh, I am so hurt and devastated at how wicked people can be. Be mad at me sure, but don't ever wish harm on my child or watch out!!

This to "me too" I am happy you are keeping your baby you won't regret it. My daughters wife said my daughter would pay and get hers for the way she came into this world, but calls herself a Christian woman. I quit my job to get away from him and found out a month later I was pregnant. I understand how you feel and I am always free if you want or need to talk.

channtai: did you get a job right away? did he have to pay you support considering? I was advised at one point that what I was involved in was s_xual hara__sment, but I wouldn't go there as we were okay at that time and I never ever thought he would hurt me in this sense. You say your child is 2? Does the father see the baby? How is his wife about that? Thank you for answering my questions, it really does help me. I think I was much more naive going into this than I realized. I just can't believe they want me to terminate and she is hoping I miscarry.

He lied to his wife so much about us and the baby that he slept with me twice and we were together for over two years. I took him down to child support because he was real shady during my pregnancy. I never thought he would hurt me the way he has either but he did. When we went to child support he lied about his job and income. When i busted his bubble about him lying to child support he took me to court saying I harra__sed him and tried to get a peace order against me. The case was dismissed he started to see her like twice-three times a week which didn't last long. He would stop communicating for awhile then come back now I haven't heard from him in awhile. I made him responsible for his child the only way I could the rest is up to him. The wife does not object to him seeing her but doesn't want anything to do with her. His sister asks about her a lot and I try to take her over every weekend to spend time with her family. I didn't find a job right a way and I was so sick during my pregnancy that I could not work. But I have a good job a new car and my baby girl so I am good. Don't get me wrong I want him to be a part of her life but he has growing up to do and a lot to face up to that he is not ready to deal with yet, but I told him the door is always open when it comes to her.

Thank you Channtai so much for sharing your situation with me. The father of my baby was my employer, long story short...I no longer have a job. At 3 months pregnant I know I will not be hired elsewhere. I am not making demands on him, as this is still new to all of us. He has one child, and I have two. What I am finding is that his wife is demanding he put the her and "their"child first and not allow himself to give as much to this child. I have two other children and I know this child is just as important as they are no matter who their dad is. I am thinking maybe this is the case in many affairs? Do the wives think the husband should not be there as much for the new child as it is not part of the marriage therefore not really his "real" child? This only occured to me tonite as there were some discussions between him and I in regards to what he feels he can be a part of as his wife will determine what is okay and not. We mothers have such a natural bond, and I now realize I am guilty myself of just a__suming fathers will allow themselves to commit to this new child without having to ask permission first.

Chantelle... You need to realise that you (as well as the husband) have broken the wifes' heart. You have no idea of the pain she is going through. I am saying this as a wife. You are right, that child is just as important as any other child born. I have no answers as to why the wife is acting the way she is as everyones situation is different, but i can say from my own experiences, that i too at one time wished the other woman to abort, thinking back now it was a very harsh thought, but the fact that my husband was having a baby with someone else devistated me. It probably isnt just the thought of you and her husband having a baby, but the fact that her husband will never be able to cut all ties with you, which in turn means that you have not just helped ruin this womans life, but you are always going to be a part of it, which also means that the broken heart which she now has is never going to heal, it may scar up but will never completely heal properly. You went into this relationship with your eyes open to the fact that this man was married, and unfortunately he will never have to face the consequenses that you will. Every wife will find it easier to BLAME the other woman, we all know in our hearts that it takes two to tango, but nothing like this happened before you came along, which is why you will have to take the majority of the blame. You need to stop any romantic relationship you have with this man, and if necessary go to court to prove this this child is his and make him financially support his child. This woman is not just hurting from what has happened, but is more than likely ashamed of herself for not noticing what her husband was and maybe still doing to her, and she has to face the fact that everyone she knows will not just be judging her husband but also her, and she will in turn be made to feel like a fool and maybe even to blame for what has happened, which lets face it none of this was her fault. You and the husband need to take responsibilty for what has happened and stop feeling sorry for yourself, you owe this woman the right to know that not only this child is his but that there is no chance of history repeating itself. Every time he goes to see you he is digging another needle into her pain. Im not saying this to have a go, but to jive you an insight to what it is like for the ones who are left to pick up the pieces of your actions.

First to"me too" you do have a strong case of s_xual harra__sment. If he does not provide for you while carrying his child and support the child I would pursue talking with a lawyer. First talk and try to reason with him then you will have no regrets going forward. Second to "!!!" I did not know at first he was married and I have taken him to child support and his is taking care of his child financially. As far as his wife shew knows this is not his first affair I was the first one to keep the baby. He has been dipping out on her for years and even while with me. I apologized to her and I told her it was never my place to tell her but his I only wanted him to take care of his daughter which he chose to be some timey about. The child majority of the time always gets the leftover time from the other kids. I don't deal with him period and nothing s_xual will ever happen between us again. I don't need to talk with him unless it's about our daughter we don't even need to cotact one another for him to see her he can go through my mother or his sister for that.

Frankly i can not imagine why you would have a 2 year "relationship" with a MARRIED man and expect it to go anywhere. obviously you are making a desperate attempt to hold onto him no matter what the cost to anyone else, i cant think of anything more selfish."he told me to have an abortion or he would leave me" ?? did i miss something here? he was never with you to start with you deluded girl. you express false concern that he will leave his wife but it is exactly what you hoped for when you told her you were pregnant how spiteful and selfish of you. and why weren't you using protection? because im sure you wanted to get pregnant thats why or you wouldnt even be considering keeping this baby.

This is to "leo" you don't know the whole story or her frame of mind at the time. People men in particular can make you believe what they want to and when you feel that you have a love for a person you tolerate certain things that you normally wouldn't. And when someone gets pregnant does not always means protection was not used you every hard of condems breaking no birth control is 100% he took the chance just as well as her. Yes a lot of us were deluded, but we are all imperfect and no one is looking for pity just some help and advice how to deal and move forward.

Even with the pill and condems still not 100% and no we should have not slept with a married man but no one can go back and change what has already happened. So if you have nothing to say about right now nothing you say can change what has already happened. We have no choice but to deal with the right now and present no could've ahould've is going to change what is already done.