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Tjane- its hopeless. I know i'm gonna get some scarcastic comment now, but i don't care-i'm not going to bother with this thread anymore. The truth is, this is totally not who i am and i don't like being this harsh-its not me at all. Its just that after getting off the phone with my best friend sobbing and heartbroken, and then actually meeting these woman online,something in me just snapped. Whilst i don't take back any of my convictions, i'm still sorry for any hurt feelings, eventhough i think it was necessary. So goodbye, madison, I hope you eventually find some nice single guy who will truely love and respect you and your baby, and not share you with any other woman in the world, and that you find true peace and happiness. you can bring on all the comments you want now, i don't care. I'm done with this thread.

Wow, the judgment on this thread is unbelievable. I'm not even going to get into that though. Madison, I am about to be 29 next month and just found out I am 6 weeks pregnant by a married man. I know how you feel about looking for support and advice because I am too. Even though there's always more to the story I'll just say this... My situation is that I knew from the beginning he would never leave his wife. I didn't ask him to and personally didn't want a serious relationship with someone that cheats. We talked about ending it several times and finally did a month ago. We said goodbye and went on to start living right. I was so happy to have ended it and felt so much better about life in general. Lo and behold guess what had happened on that last visit? Yep, I got pregnant. I told him and we've talked and he's ultimately decided not to be involved and that is going to have to be ok to me. No, it's not the perfect situation but I'm not going to make it worse by going after him and destroying his marriage (he will do that on his own obviously). No situation is perfect and you are no worse or better than anyone else. It's been easier on me because this man has never handed me any BS about leaving his wife. The truth is always better than a lie. I'm sorry your man is lying to you. He just feels guilty and tells you & his wife what you want to hear without making any real choices. All you can really do at this point is decide if you're going to go after child support and if he's going to willingly be in the child's life. Other than that, there is no advice in the world that is going to make him choose between you or her. Since the wife knows and is staying by his side, he's probably pretty comfortable with keeping both of you in reach. Once a man knows he can treat you a certain way and you don't leave, he's not going anywhere and he's not going to change. At least these types of men. I know there are good ones out there and even though I'm having a child out of wedlock I know I can get my life on track and I'll eventually meet one of the good guys. Don't listen to the judgers. They must have no sins in their past (right!) and think that one sin is worse than another. Guess again. God will judge us one by one and He's the only one we should worry about. As far as being a single mom in general... we are not the first and will not be the last. There are tons of resources for us and all you gotta do is look for them. We're gonna be ok!

naaaa- there's a reason why a killer goes to jail and not someone who stole 100 bucks. Apparantly different sins do have different magnitudes. But madison- leave the idiot. he has no respect for women and if he cheated on is wife he'll cheat on you too. he's not worth an eye-lash.

Wow.. you girls are funny.. I see on other posts sometimes woman will answer 13 yr old girls when they have a question about something tha tis soo simple to us but they are not sure about, and woman make fun of them like they should know or something. but people come in here and say whats on there mind and the woman who are at fault in all of this think we are bashing them. That's too d__n funny. If someone is married and "getting out of it" as in moving out or has his own place things like that.. well then I guess he becomes fair game to anyone. BUT you can guarentee that if he still lives with his wife and has no means of getting a separation or looking for his own place he's not going anywhere. And if he has a bigger s_x drive then his wife then maybe he should talk to her. Like 2 normal adults should do when they run into troubles. S_x is a huge issue I think in a relationship.. and if you have a healthy s_xual relationship most of the time things fall into place.. Im not baseing s_x on evertying.. but it's a huge thing in any relationship.. I know men sometimes have nice things to say and will buy you stuff and whatever.. but when he says he still lives at home though and is doing nothign about it.. then why can't you just leave him alone. If he was that unhappy he would have the b___s to leave his present situation. Man oh man and with all the nasty things you can catch now a days obvioulsy your not using condoms and then he goes home and sleeps with his wife and well everyone is sleeping with each other.. NICE

JB1- thanks for your support... Its amazing how others judge so easily when not in our situation. There are a million worse situations than ours and I wouldn't dare pa__s judgment unless if I have walked in their shoes. Rather than entertain them and reply back and forth on this board... Email me at kristen44992003@yahoo.com to chat.

In this situation for me, the wife of someone like this, im not going to bash you or judge you cause men can be very convincing and him and his wife might have been separated or fighting, Ill just tell you that even if he leaves his wife you can nevr trust him, she will always be his love and she could come in between you whenever she wants, I tell you this because when me and my husband separated(because abuse) he started to date someone else, but all along he was telling me we are going to work it out, supposedly she got pregnant in Sep and in november he was back in my bed, saying we are forever, it lasted about a month when I threw him out again, and then in Dec he moves her in to the next room saying her parents through her out and she has no where to go, even with his girlfriend in the next room I could have had him anytime, and I could have said get her out of here and he would have, any way i found out she wasnt even pregnant and freaked cause that was the only reason i let her stay, so I moved out, any way not even a month went by and he was calling me cause she left him any way I figured we could still try to save our marriage bacause i loved him so much, and he laid in his lines on me, any way I stupidly got pregnant and everything was fine till i found out this other girl was pregnant when she left and not only that but he had videos and pictures of some other girl on his phone, any way i confronted him and he threatend me so i left we havnt talked in two months but i f i called him for anything hed drop whoever or whatever for me, I just want to let you know that love that hurts is not worth it, and if you too do get together you will never be able to trust him because once a cheater always a cheater he will do the same thing to you, .............Right now im 21 weeks preg and it takes all my strength not to call him but I know, it will only mess up my life more.........his mistresses baby is due two months before mine and it kills me, and it hurts even more that im going to have to explain all this to my daughter..................????does him and his wife have kids, cause if they do you have to think about that thats your babys brothers and sisters, and im my case i think about it all the time my little girl will never meet her sibling....

um..a sin is a sin in god's eyes........they are all the same. On this earth we determine whats worse than the other..but it doesn't change the fact that sins are the same in god's eyes. I think thats what jb1 was saying....

MelissaP-umm can you give me the source of " a sin is a sin in G-d's eyes"? cause that sort of implies that i'm gonna get the same hell as bin-laden for my sins, and i kinda don't think G-d works that way.

I think everyone is ent_tled to their opinions.Here is mine. I think you need to sit him down and tell him he needs to tell his wife your pregnant.Even if he doesnt leave her(which i doubt he will) she has a right to know what has really been going on.In my opinion i think it would be better to tell her while your pregnant to give her that little time before the baby is born to figure out what she wants to do.Its not easy accepting the fact that your husband knocked up some other lady and it will most likely be a long time before she accepts it or moves on. Maybe you should discuss custody and child support. If they deside to "work it out" then she is going to have to deal with this baby visiting and or staying the night. On any note, dont let him stick you out and make you feel not wanted.There are so many men out there who would love the oppertunity to have a package deal. My husband is not my first daughters father nor my sons.We are very happy ( with a little girl on the way!!!)

Dsmom- you cant say for sure weather that other sibling will be in your daughter or sons life for sure unless you already have your mind made up about keeping them apart.Think about who is at fault here. The husband right? What im saying is that you shouldnt blame this other lady, you always have the chance to ask her to let the children see each other. If she declines then let your child/ren know it wasnt because of you or their sibling/s. I have brothers from my fathers side who once i was 18 i decided to find and keep in touch with because their mother didnt like my mom. See the point?

jazy is your life so boring that you have to sleep with married men i think that you all just like the drama that comes along with it. evidently you arent taking that good of care of the married men because you still dont have a ring on your hand. you want to justify your actions by saying if you hadnt slept with him someone else would have. that is stupid and childish. grow up. noone is jealous of a homewrecker because a homewrecker is never gonna get a married man away from his wife. he is just with you for a piece of a__s and you apparently couldnt tell him not until i see divorce papers. evidently you cant take care of this married man either if he doesnt want anything to do with you since you are pregnant. what makes you think you are doing such a great job at taking care of a married man when you cant even get him to leave his wife. if you didnt want to be judged you shouldnt have come on here.

I think mummy..made a really good point about other siblings. I have half-siblings who are no different relationship-wise to me than my "full" brother. My half-sister now has four children of her own who I love deeply. It saddens me to think of my own situation and how my child might never know future brothers/sisters.

Slowpoke- Is your life that boring that you have to sit on here and bash people.. First of all no my life isnt boring... For your information I was going to get married but i called it off... I was with someone for 7 years.....If I wanted him away from his wife I could have him away from his wife I'm not a homewrecker if I was then he would be away.. He is just as much at fault as I am so don't sit here and bad mouth me and act like its all my fault because its not.. Whats your story why are you on here?? Is your life just so boring you need to sit here and listen you other peoples problems... I don't care what you say if you judge me because your judgement means NOTHING to me only when the man upstairs does... And ya know what everyone makes mistakes come on now.. Let me guess your've never done anythign wrong in your life right?? LIAR... You people act like you have done nothing wrong get over yourself if this is what makes you happy and your life not so boring then say what you have to say

Slow- I'm not mad at all I think its kinda funny to he honest with you... You must have no life at all and you just need a lil gosip in your life I'll give you that if thats what you need in your life...If I'm a homewreka hes just as bad as me hunny... You can say whateva you wanna say on here....I'm not the one that made this post first of all I was tryin to talk to the women that did and let her know what she was gonna go through.. Ya he did say he wanted me to have an abortion and for your info I left him alone when he said that and hes the one that called me and wanted me to move back closer to him....Hey if he wanted me for a piece of a__s maybe thats all I wanted from him too.. and it turned into more than that...Dont sit here and say anything about my kids cause you don't know anything about them how they are raised or anything... My kids are raised with respect with manners and cla__s... They are very well taken care of just because I slept with a married man dont mean my kids are going to be any diffrent then yours or any one elses... We do make a great couple thank you very much;0)

JAZY- first of all i dont need gossip in my life, i just dont like it when someone is a homewrecker. you are right though he is as bad as you are because neither of you thought about the kids that were involved all you thought about was your own feelings. neither of you were thinking with your heads you were thinking with what was between your legs and that is sick, because it wasnt just the 2 of you involved it was his wife and his kids too. and if the 2 of your were both after a__s then you both should have used protection. this whole thing is just stupid and pointless because you are probably still screwing him and it really doesnt matter. i think that you are nothing but a drama queen and that you like the attention that this is giving you. you act like you are a "perfect angel" and that he is the only 1 at fault. you say he wanted you to move closer, and let me guess he is still with his wife and still wants you on the side. so honey you need to get over yourself it isnt you that he wants for the rest of his life and the only way that he will ever leave his wife and kids is if she finds out and kicks his a__s out. and that still doesnt mean that he will be with you and your kids. he will find him another piece if he hasnt already and you will be nowhere around. he never wanted you and evidently his feelings for you arent deep if he cant file for divorce and leave his wife. he is telling you what you want to hear and you are falling for every line of it. that is sad.

jazy , i would just like to say that if you have never been married, then you couldnt know the importance, and the sanct_ty, and wholesomeness that comes with it.