Pregnancy Info HOME

First off, let me start off by saying I hope I can talk about this here. I’m very very newly pregnant. I haven’t been to the doctor yet. I just found out yesterday. I had suspicions. I got off birth control last month, only because I lost my insurance after turning 26. I ran out of birth control on the 15th of October. I made an appointment at the health department to make sure I didn’t have lapse but the soonest they could get me in is the 19th. By that time my period was heavy and they couldn’t give me a pap. I got off my period on the 22nd. I stupidly had unprotected sex with my boyfriend on the 25th. He didn’t pull out. I was hoping that my period would come and was only late because my body was adjusting to the lack of BC I’ve been on the last three years. But no. Lots of tears and two positive pregnancy tests later, here I am. 

Im 26 years old. My life isn’t necessarily where I’d like it to be. I’ve been in and out of college because I have no idea what I want with my life. I have two cats and I serve because that’s the best money you can make by far with no degree. Anyways, my boyfriend is 31. He has 3 children. Twin girls and a boy. He doesn’t want another. And I’m torn to pieces over this. I don’t know if I’m ready. I’ve never wanted kids of my own. The idea of all the money necessary for it scares the crap out of me. And the uncertainty of everything that follows after giving birth. He says that even though he doesn’t want it, he will not abandon his child. And I believe that, he’s a good father. 

But how the hell do I make this decision? I either resent him after having an abortion and the children he does have. I hate myself or I have this kid and I struggle. I have supportive family and friends but I’m so scared. 

Help.