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I also agree with THANKS. What I believe she was saying in her origianl posting, is why do the taxpayers and the already over burdened systems have to pay for a__sistance, when obviously she can get money from the FATHER!!! Why should the state pick up his slack? It doesn't seem like LonelyTears is even exploring that option. And I don't think that THANKS was bragging at all. Since when is achieving great things something to be embara__sed about? Since when is wanting something that your child can be proud of something bad? And I sympathise with LonelyTears, I feel sorry that she is in this situation, but it didn't "just happen". Obviously this guy was a very bad guy and I am sure she knew this soon after meeting him. Don't worry THANKS, there ARE those of us who do understand what you were trying to say.

You people are failing to see the point of "thanks"!! She is not bashing anybody and is not on her high horse, or being fed with a silver spoon. If there is a capable father who can supply child support..they SHOULD! Just because LonelyTears doesn't want this man to be in her life, that doesn't make it the tax payers responsibility to pick up the slack. That is the point "Thanks" is making. I would understand if the father of a child left and fell off the face of the earth and was ditching child support..but to NOT file it because you dont want to, and then leave it up to others is wrong!...Sleeping with this man was HER decision so she needs to take responsibility and do what is RIGHT....if LonelyTears doesnt want the father in her child's life..then I guess she has to go to court then and plead her case. The situation was made...and it needs to be dealt with!! And also...how MANY TIMES did "thanks" say her views were to be restricted to this particular situation only??...She isnt talking about the girl that was raped and is pregnant and needs a__sistance ..or the woman whose husband pa__sed away and needs a__sistance for her children. This particular situation is wrong..because choosing to use the system at your convience is wrong!

I feel bad for you LonelyTears and i hope everything works out for the best. Everyone has a point to what they are saying..but just do what u need to in your situation. Only you know what is truley going on b/c u are dealing with it. Good luck

The government only take out a small % of your taxes to pay for government a__sistance. Most of your tax money go on pulic school, war, and upkeep of your city. Your comment is mean and unnecessary. Don't you think she's going thur enough hardship and heartache in her life. My husband and I also work hard. We also have two cars and a large 3 bedroom house. What do that have to do with anything? Having things don't make you a better person than someone who is having a hard time. One day you and your husband may need welfare. You could lose a job or get laid off. It happens to the "hardworkers" everyday. I would prefer a woman to get welfare than to be out on the streets. This is what's wrong with the world. No understanding and only worry about themselves. Lonelytears, your ex had no right to treat you the way he did. One day he will regret his unchristian like behavior. What comes around goes around. Congrats on your uncoming blessings. I would give his name or the government may make you pay back everything. Make him do his part and be a man. Child support will help you and your child in the future. I hope this helps

I know this isn't going to be a popular opinion, but I just have to say something here based on my experiences. I have no idea how the whole thing works with receiving benefits and whether or not you have to give them the father's name, but my advice to you would be don't tell them. I have experienced these kind of people like your ex and they can and will use religion as an excuse to do anything they want to. And the worst part is that they sound sincere and other people believe them. I am glad you were able to see through his act and get out. But if you put his name on the birth cert. you are giving him a foot in the door, so to speak, into your life and your daughter's. Right now he is not interested in being a father, so take advantage of it before he does and starts making problems for you. I don't know what state you are in, but is there any possibility you could have him sign off on any right's to the baby, since he dosen't want anything to do with it and he dosen't want his parents to know, there is a good chance he might go for it, plus then he would be off the hook for child support too. I think you are absolutely right not wanting to deal with him, I don't think some of the other people that have posted on here understand how dangerous these religious hypocrites can be. There's nothing wrong with getting help from the government for a while when you need it, thats what it is there for and don't let anybody make you feel bad about it. In your situation it would not be an abuse of the system. Hope everything goes well for you and that creep stays out of your life and your daughter's forever.

well as far as i know in order to get government a__sistance as least i was required to do this you have to give the name of the possible father or fathers. In order for them to help you, you have to tell them and give them information that they need and want.

I'm not sure where you are Lonleytears, but I'm in Illinois and when my dad applied for welfare, (I was under 18 and living at home with my baby) I HAD to give them my son's dads' name. Yes, I had to file for child support and get a DNA test because I didn't put his name on the certificate for legal reasons. In order for my dad to get his benifits, I had to recieve child support. If you do not give them your childs fathers name and they find out, you can spend time in prison for government fraud. What you want to do is very illegal, and if your ex-bf finds out and wants to get you in trouble all it takes is one call. I know a woman who did something similiar to what you want to do and she got caught and had to pay a big fine and spent some time in jail. A pain in the a__s ex is not worth getting in a bunch of trouble. I would say to give them his name.

that is just too funny - the post in which i defend a community of people was deleted but for the longest time the orginal post where the lady was blatantly singling out an entire community of people was there for the longest time. funny how someone thought I had poor taste yet the crazy lady went on ranting and raving about the ppl was acceptable!

I saw your deleted post and couldn't have agreed with you more. I never posted a response to her, because in times past my posts speaking out against such things were deleted too. Makes you wonder doesn't it....

If you need a__sistance then you should get it but I am a single mother without a college degree but I have been blessed enough to get a decent job making just enough to have me still surviving . Its very hard for me to deal with people who lie to get a__sistance because it isnt fair. He doesnt deserve a free ride. I applied for a__sistance at one point and was told because I made too much money they would not do anything for me, and I even said to the guy "So if i sit at home and make babies you guys will pay for everything but because I have a job that requires a high school education and just need a little help with daycare then you cant help me with nothing right?" and he says "Yeh basically thats right". If you need a__sistance get it because you deserve to have what you need but this little boy who just walked away from his responsibility should not have a free ride. My main reason for posting was to let you know I am in Florida and here if a man ends up in court over child support he does not automatically get rights. In order for him to get rights his child support has to be completely up to date and consistent and he actually has to pay for legal services to have you taken to court. I dont know where you are but dont just a__sume that he will get rights if he has to pay because my daughters father has been court ordered for the last 4 years and he still has no visitation rights. ( I still havent gotten child support but I let her see her father as much as I hate him and his drama its not my call to keep a little girl away from her Dad, he also mentally abused me but doesnt our kid) but that is just me. If you need a__sistance get it but please for the sake of everyone dont let him get a free ride. He doesnt deserve it....

to: i know this is just a forum and it wasn't a place to carry out a debate so heated as that one - but the things that she said...my goodness you really have to be on some other planet. Views like that only breed more misconception, intolerance and negativity ... Thanks To :) I wasn't going to reply either but i just couldn't just sit here and let that one go. Have a great day :))

And another thing, My daughters fathers name is on her birth certificate and he still has no rights..just check into it and so your research before you make that kind of decision.

To Mama3 (this is not on the subject) But have you checked into if he can do that legally? I am in Florida and here even if both parents agree a man can not sign his rights over unless the mother is married to another man for atleast a year and the new husband is willing to accept full responsibility. I wish I could let my daughters father sign her over. It would be easier but because of laws I cant even though both of us would agree. He put his name on the birth certificate, loves to run around showing off pictures of her but once he got his license suspended he called and asked me if I would be willing too let him sign her over. I agreed and we legally checked into and because both of us reside here the state will not allow us too. I am not on any kind of a__sistance as I dont qualify but they still wouldnt let us. Just wondering as I wish I had the option.... He has never paid a penny and said he would rather sit in jail for the rest of his life than do anything financially for either one of us... I picked a good one, I know....=-(

Have you talked to a lawyer? Here in PA if you both agree you ask the attorney for papers for him to give you full custody and to relinguish his rights. He has to sign both papers. If he only signs the paper to relinguish his rights sadley he can still take her and have rights to her. He has to sign full custody to you too. It cost me $183 for just our oldest. If he signs these papers he does not have to pay support anymore. You take the papers to the child support office there and request the support to stop, and as you said your not on a__st either so they cant tell you know. Now for women who are on a__st if he signs off and your getting cash they wont stop the support till he has paid everything back to them. Then the support can be stoped. My laywer sent the papers out to my husband Tuesday. Now I'm waiting for him to siagn and get it notorised and sent back. Them my little girl will legaly be mine and no-one can take her. I paying alittle at a time now, So that when our youngest daughter is born the papers will be done asap. My divorce is slowly getting there. I wanted my kids done first. I wish you the best of luck. Just sit and call a attorneys office. They can answer you without you having to go in and pay a consulation fee. Again, just ask if in your state can you have papers drawn up to relinguish his rights and sign over full custody. The securatary should aslo be able to tell you this info too.

Screw what the other poster said about you…how dare she! I’m sick of people being so judgmental and making such harsh and rude comments on this forum when they have no idea what the other persons situation is. These are posts not a person’s entire life story. We are not all going to agree on the same things but for her to tell you to get fixed is way out of line. I personally thought the post was in poor taste. And would everyone give it up with the “oh that’s right the condom broke responses”. It happens and these ladies should be commended for taking the responsibility of caring for these children. Who are we to judge others? Obviously she’s making comments without knowing your situation just a__suming you’re receiving welfare. You don’t have to explain yourself to her. Some people just always think they know it all and are so much better than the rest of us when they really have no idea at all who we are in the first place.

Thank you, I wish there were more people in this world like you...