Scared Confused And Regretful
3 Replies
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I'm just so frightened. I'm 19 years old, 20 in September. In February I Found out i was pregnant and my boyfriend proposed with a beautiful ring. My family was supportive. In March I had a miscarriage, and my family was very supportive (though relieved) during that time as well. My fiance and I postponed our wedding until '08 or '09.
Well, judge me all you want--I got pregnant again, I'm now 5 weeks along. I told my family and this time around, they disowned me. They refuse to help with my rent or continue to pay for college. I feel like all my dreams have shattered. I have no idea how I'm even going to beable to keep a roof over my head, this pregnancy has me too sick to goto work regularly.
My fiance and I are now having issues. I feel like he is not treating me right and that it has only gotten worse since we found out I Was pregnant. He never wants to spend time with me and consistently doesn't show up. Tonight he was supposed to come over and when he was 2 hours late I finally called. He said he didn't feel like it and wanted to "relax and chill." We got into an arguement, and he ended up hanging up on me and turning off his phone. I'm just tired of feeling worthless and unimportant. By the same token, I don't know how I could survive financially without him. I have no one, and feel like I am unable to financially support myself.
I want this baby, but I am totally at a loss of what to do. I don't have the college education I have always yearned for, and now I wonder if I Ever will. I can't even afford to buy my own groceries. I need a new job, but I spend my mornings in bed vomiting.
What should I do? Please, someone give me some words of encouragement. I just want to goto bed and never wake up.
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I wish I had read this one first. You are not worthless. You may not know what your purpose in life is right now, but you have a purpose, such as I and everyone else on this earth. You have a baby that has no control over it's life. It is depending on you. That should be a priority in your life right now. Not some guy that doesn't want or take care of the children he has. Sometimes, mine is to be at a place and time like this to give some comfort and support to someone like yourself and the others in similar situations. I am curious as to what day in September your birthday is. Mine is the 28th. Also, where are you located? I'm in the St. Louis, Missouri area. There should be some public a__sistance that can help, such as a crisis center, family services or even food stamps. I would love nothing more than to be able to help you. Feel free to contact me directly, if you would like or any others that read this.
Take care, Keith
- yahoo messenger -stargazing_mustanglover
kdbrady63301 at sbcglobal dot net
636-233-1221
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After you miscarried and the wedding was postponed, that should have been a warning sign to you. Your fiance probably felt pressured when you came up pregnant the first time, and was most likely relieved when the pregnancy didn't work out. Now that you are pregnant again, he is feeling trapped and stressed. His feelings are causing him to distance himself from you. I say give him the space and time he needs. You need to focus on yourself and your welfare. Go to the county offices and apply for everything imaginable that will help you along the way: WIC, food stamps, insurance(if u need it), and low income housing(if you are going to need that as well). Stay strong and put you first. If your fiance wants to come around...he will.
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Hi purpleanngel, i just wanted to say I can relate to your post. I was in college (3 years) and found out I was pregnant. My family is very supportive, but it's hard to be the only one out of all of my family to not be married and have a kid. I felt worthless (like you're feeling now) because I didn't finish college, I'm unmarried, and now I'm going to have a kid. I know that the financial aspect of it may be hard to grasp now, but would you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone liek this? wouldn't you always have in the back of your mind that he's not for you? I don't know, I think you should definitely follow your heart on your decisions. I know the money problem is hard (I'm there, trust me) but I feel that women don't know their own strengths. ! You will get thru this, althought it doesn't seem like it now. TRUST ME. Keep your chin up and congratulations on the baby. There is nothing you can do about the past. Just know that you're a strong young woman and take it day by day. Good luck to you.
PS I am MUCH better than I was. I was like you when I was 9 weeks pregnant. I'm now 26 weeks, and it does get better. I promise you that.
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