Single And Pregnant Need Advice
5 Replies
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I found out i was pregnant 2 months ago, i am now 4 months gone. i told my partner and he was ok at first but that only lasted 1 night. we had been having a few problems as his relationship with his ex-wife was a little too cosy, he has a 5 year old son with her who i treated as my own for the 2 years we were together,she would call late in the evenings for any odd reason or come into my house when i was working and bring in my washing or get his son changed etc.. they even went on a cosy trip bowling together becasue she threatened my partner that if he didnt go with her and their son for the afternoon without me or her partner (whom she has a 6 month old child with!!) then he wouldnt be able to go his frist day at school, we nearly broke up over this, she manipulated him all the time and every day was a fight, his son was even told to come round and say nasty things about us when he stayed! she rang him quote frequently to ask his advice on her relationship and that she still loved him, crying and saying she had made a mistake even though she was the one who had an affair and is still with the bloke and has his baby! we split up because he said he couldnt deal with my jealousy and having a go at him all the time! he found it funny that she wanted him back! i couldnt cope with having 3 in the relationship anymore, we were such a happy couple aswell, he had a very bad marraige and was treated like dirt and it also destroyed his family! why would he choose that over me! we were happy and i would do anything for him and his son, his parents and friends are gutted that we spilt up as they say i was perfect for him and we were so happy compared to what he was like with his ex wife! he thinks there was never a problem with her coming in our house or calling him all the time when i was not around or asking to meet up, he thought it was just me being jealous! i understand he had to have contact with her because of his son but this was too much all the time! the problem is i am now alone, pregnant and scared, i want this baby so much, but i do still love my ex very much and wish none of this had happened, i know he doesnt deserve me and i can do better, but who is going to want to go out with a single pregnant woman and take on a baby aswell!! i dont think il ever find anyone else!! im also moving 200 miles away from my ex to be near my friends and family that i left to live with him, he says he doesnt care and doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby!! his parents and sister has been great but i cant stop thinking about our relationship and that we could be so happy, i know he will never change and every relationship he has will go the same way because even though he says he will do anything for his son, he is willing to let his ex wife ruin his life forever, she helped brake us up and now i dont hear from him or have any contact! i feel angry, upset, alone, and feel that i need him in some way? what should i do!!!!!
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I can sort of relate to your situation. I was with my ex for 6 years and we broke up when i was 2 months pregnant. I had to move over 100 miles away, but i am back with my mom and have alot of great friends to helpme out. You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of c___p in any relationship. And your right you don't need him and you deserve way better. Being a single mother is VERY scary and hard, but you just have to be strong and and know that you did the right thing by leaving. My ex dos't want any thing to do withme or my baby either, and it hurts to htink that some one you loved could just leave you like that, but yo can do better!! it will all work out in the end.. by the way im 39 weeks and expecting in 7 days and i couldnt be happier. So good luck and stay strong :)
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It will be hard but you will get through it. He is clearly an idiotic fool who lost two not one! Karma baby!
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First things first you should thank God for your blessing of life. You have shared a lot of what has gone on, but you can make it. I too am a single mom, but I'm pregnant with my second child due to give birth any day now. This time around I thought it would be so different, but when I got about 3 months preg he started revealing a very dangerous angry side that I had never seen. It took ME another two months to finally get away and when I did it was hard. I am choosing to be a single mom this time around, b/c I can let him back in, but at what cost??? I feel so much better and stronger. Now that was my personal story. You can make it. You have moved to be closer to family and friends and trust me that is what you will need-along with some guidance from God-Jesus Christ!!! Your ex is in la-la land for saying that you are jealous b/c I believe you acted appropriately. She is using the child they have together as a pawn. Right now your focus should be a healthy pregnancy. Although he said he doesn't want anything to do with you or the baby, doesn't mean that time won't change him. The loser-ist of the losers can change. A baby by a woman that he really loves and that really loves him may be just what changes him. Men get scared when extra responsibilty comes and they don't know how to always address their fears. But don't try and find him. Pray for him. Focus on you. Your baby on the way. Spend time with yourself thinking about good things in life. Good things you and your baby can do togther. Treat yourself to some nice things if you can. Take some walks. But leave him alone for the time being. It is a whole bunch easier said than done, but he needs to realize who is really good for him. If the ex-wife had an affair and is torn between him and the father of her 6 month old, she is as confused as he is. But they will crash and burn and he may just come back crawling trying to make things right not just for the baby but for you too, once he TRULY realizes that you are what's good for him. Once again, focus on you. Your baby. Just leave him in the hands of the good Lord. Don't be afraid to be a single mom. Hell I know some wives that are single mom's. It's a blessing to be able to be a mother, but more of a blessing to see that angel that came from you. I wish you the best of luck. It isn't easy, but don't think of it as no one will want you. If you never get back with him, there will be someone that will want you and your baby-for all you're worth and be willing and happy to treat you much better than he ever could. Life isn't over because you are pregnant. Carry that baby. Take good care of yourself and after your little one is born-I GUARANTEE you if you keep your focus on what's right (your little one) EVERYTHING will fall into place. Just takes time!!!!!GOD BLESS
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I had my baby 6 weeks ago, a little girl 7lb7oz. I named her sophie! I love being a mommy, youi can do it with out him, i did and i am way better off!! Good luck :)
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You know you are not alone, my situations is a lil like yours, but one thing I realize that its something he wanted to do. Don't blame yourself nor his ex, she can only do want she allow him to do.Same with my situation so, i realize that and now I feel better about myself.
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