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so i know have a beautiful amazind little girl laci!! i love her to death and have been taking it one day at a time :) i enrolled in a cna program at school and i am currently a nanny. it doesn't pay very well though so i have to find another job.. :) so i left jesse alone no calls no texts no anything and he called me two months later talkin to me every ight for like 2 hours and he gave me this cd with this song that says tonight is the night i will fall in love with you again and yatta yatta well i wish that i would have taken your guys' advice because i started hanging out with him again,,long story short i hung out with him like 3 or 4 times and we had s_x every time well the last night we went to the club together and i brought my girlfiend from cna class well we all know where stories that start off like this end up we had fun at the club it was my first and only night out because i HATE leaving my baby so i went out and then when we got back to her ohousehe started kissing me and yatta yatta then brings me into the room she is in and tries convincing me tohave a 3some with my friend he started makin out with her tryin to go down on her and she let him she just kept saying i dont want to hurt danielle she is my friend but kept letting him. so i was cryin left the room then he looked me in my eyes and said let me f*** her then i'll f*** you.... i was completely shocked.. he called me the next day acted lke nothin ever happened... and i do not speak to him anymore the way i look at it he doesn't deserve to talk to me and if he is going to act like that i don't need him in my life anyway and he has made it clear it wants nothing to do with laci.. well here is my issue now i have always been in a relationship since i was 15 probably and i HATE being alone. granted i do have my baby with me 24/7 and i love her to death...but yes its harder then h__l sometimes doing this all alone. i want to meet someone soooooo sooo sooo bad and i don't know what to do like i want her to have a daddy growing up and it kills me every day to think that she won't . i didn't have a dad growin up and i hated that. i want to be able to provide her withthat. and i have met 1 guy that got my number and jsut wanted to me for 1 thing only and said he couldn't stand that i had a baby so i stoppped talkin to him then i met this other guy and we have only known each other for a week. but he texts me everyday and i mean i now guys know the right things to say but ok long story short again after i met him he text me and said hey i just wanted to tell you (we had talked 4 like 2 hours b4 i left) that you seem like an amazing person and your daughter is really lucky :) which was very sweet.. we went to the movies together and it was amazing and really really fun... and he always talks to laci when i see him and yeah he seems really sweet... and he tells me all the time im amazing and yatta yatta well here is the catch to all of this he was with this girl for two years and she cheated on him and they lived together when it happened but they broke up and continued living together then they got back together and he was telling me (this is actually how we started talking) it was at a restaurant and he was talkin to be about this girl and said that he knows he has potential to be a great husband someday but that she won't get all of that potential because she cheated on him and he said he loves her to death but he knows that he is only in it for her cuz he just can't hurt her. and that he wants to get out because he knows that he won't be able to be everything he can be with her because of what has happened he said i have forgiven her but i just can't forget the fact. and im workin on it but its really hard on trust right now.. so i was talkin to him about that and he was like wow thank u so much you helped me out a lot and i was giving him advice because i have been there before too.. so... he broke up with her the day after i met him but they still live together he told me that its hard bein around her and he doesn't want to live together but he doesn't want her out on the streets so he said that he is waiting until she finds a place to go. well ... so i dunno and he also said that he isn't wantin a relationship right now but he will know when he is ready. that is to me understandable because he just got out of a two year relationship but i dunno if they will just end up getting back together or and then ill be upset or what i should do ADVICE PLEASE
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WOW! That was certainly a LOT to take in. Well your little girl's father is a complete douche. You've done the right thing. Too bad b/c he is really missing out on so much. I don't think you said in there anywhere how old your baby girl is but you don't have to rush finding her a father right now! It sounds like she is still very young! The man that you are currently talking to right now sounds sweet but trust me honey--whether he admits it or not--he is rebounding! The father of my baby girl was rebounding from an ex he lived with and I kept trying to deny it. Well, we ended up dating for 6 months only for him to walk away when he found out I was pregnant. Now, I'm 2 months away from delivering and he has finally come around for our babies sake, but he freely admits he was never ready for a relationship b/c he was never over his ex. Needless to say, he and I have no relationship whatsoever and that's fine by me. As long as he is in our daughters life....I refuse to be someone elses 2nd choice no matter how lonely things have been. You gotta think that way too girl. No man is worth being with just out of desperation. Its easier said than done when we feel so alone, believe me I know the feeling. But I truly believe things always happen when you least expect or want it. Chin up sista!
We don't need a man to be happy, lets just be happy with ourselves and the fact that we are such beautiful creatures being able to bring a life into this world. Celebrate what you have and don't dwell on what you don't. Blessings!
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dani having read your posts i agree with colleen that you did the right thing about getting rid of your terrible, selfish ex. i was shocked to see how much you really believe that you NEED a man in your life. of course everybody woman wants to be loved and have a decent man by her side, but if you have that att_tude all you will attract is the wrong man after the wrong man after the wrong man. this is because although we sometimes think men arent quite as clever as us females, in reality they can spot a female who is 'desperate' for love/affection etc and therefore the bad guys will see this as a perfect oppurtunity to use this vulnerable woman, because lets face it, any attention she gets she will delight in and just be so happy to have. i understand what you are saying because similar you i had been in serious relationships from the age of 17. my mother had brought me up to think that you NEED a man and therefore i attracted the most terrible men, one of whom turned out to be a paedophile. i look back and i realise that it teaches you lessons but in reality i have this niggling part in my head that says 'why oh why didnt you just respect yourself more, enjoy being single and independant, and aim high' but at the time i was young naive and stupid. please don't teach your daughter that you must have a man in your life, it is simply not true. i cannot express enough how damaging it is when you have this belief and as a result all the horrible men you allow walk all over you and use you. the second guy you met in my view is another bad one, he has a girlfriend and cheated on her with you (whether you have gone all the way with him or not, he is still being dishonest to her). he has finally told her the truth which is good, but then the tell tale signs of him saying 'im nor ready for a relatoinship' indicate that he is just solely after s_x. by letting yourself be on a sting i.e. 'let me know when you are and i will just be right here', he is given the go ahead to go and use you at ANY time he sees fit. i hope you listen to some of my advice and learn the only person you need is yourself, you NEED to love yourself before you can expect any nice guy to be attracted to you. there is a book my Sherry Argov called 'why men love b___hes' - i would strongly suggest that any woman who has been cheated on/walked all over, should read this book, it is brilliant and it will teach you a lot. i hope i don't sound 'preachy' , it just saddens me when i see another young woman being used and abused by men because she doesnt love herself enough to know better. if i were you i would drop contact with that guy, all his ex gf business, and the house, and the 'not ready for a relationship talk', you don't need that, why let him mess with your head. get him out of your life and learn to love yourself.
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OMG!! What a PIG!! I hope you're not a__sociating with that so called "friend" of yours! That's too much to bear all at once. I really think you should take a step back and a___lyze what's been happening in your life. Having a relationship with someone new is too soon for you. Your heart is still broken from your last one. Give yourself time...Protect your heart. Your loneliness is taking control of your better judgement. I know you want a father for your daughter, but looking for someone else at this very early stage won't fil that void. It's just going to be a huge distraction from providing a healthy life for your baby. She already has a father who is down-right selfish and isn't thinking about her at all. Why bring in someone else who could careless about her existance? I'm a single mom, and I go through the loneliness you're feeling. (I"m sure many women do.) But I won't allow my feelings of loneliness to distract me from focusing on providing a happy healthy environment for my kids. The best thing you can do is to respect yourself first. And doing so will create a confident woman who will become the Best mother to her child. Not only that, but you will feel so much stronger and wiser. Confidence in yourself and knowing you're self worth is very attractive. You won't have to go looking for a man... they will come flocking to you. Otherwise, I agree with Cat24, being vulnerable and putting yourself out there will definately attract the wrong men!! You have to be wise when you choose who you want to share your and baby's life with. You're not deciding just for you anymore. You have a precious little girl who depends on you every step of the way. Put her first and yourself second. Never allow a man to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be his option. I hope this helps and gives you some encouragement. Just take it one day at a time. And you'll be fine. God bless!
One more thing.. I read this book after my breakup with the father of my child.." What Smart Women know" by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol. It's very interesting. And a fun trip to the book store.
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