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rl (and other rude responders) WHY WHY WHY would you be so negative. You are replying on a "single and pregnant" forum which would lead us to beleive that you yourself would be single and pregnant, which would mean you had some sort of father issues. And if you are not, then why do you feel qualified to be so negative towards those of us that are. You know nothing about me or these other women, yet you automatically think that because we "let ourselves get knocked up by some loser" that we ourselves are losers that don't know what we are doing. YOU ARE WRONG. I don't know you, and I don't a__sume anything about you. BUT, listening to the nastiness you spew to people posting on a forum for help, I feel sorry for your child because most likely you will teach him or her to be judgemental towards others. So, I feel more sorry for your child than mine, because I know he is going to be growing up in a VERY stable environment.

Lier - I feel the same as you. Its not that we don't want fathers for our children, we just want the best possible person for them. And right now, that is not the person we conceived with. Hopefully, one day they will grow up and be that but untill then, tough luck. I had to grow up to be a mommy. And maybe they never will, and maybe we will all find wonderfull nights in shining armor (which so OBVIOUSLY these nasty women who posted here have found). But untill then, I am going to continue to work hard to give my baby everything I can. I neve wanted to be a single parent either and I did all the precautionary measures to ensure I wasn't, but things happen. But, I am still completely happy and greatfull for this child. I don't feel any less deserving of him because I am single. What advice do you have for Katarina for child support. I personally am not going for it because I don't want him to have ANYTHING to do with the baby and I feel that if I made him pay CS that he would eventually be granted visitation rights which I want to avoid at all costs. Plus, I don't feel that it is fair of me to expect payment when I decided on my own to not let him be involved, even if for obviously good reasons.

thankyou goosifer101

goosifer I am also not going after the father for child support...I am not even listing him on the birth certificate. A really good friend of mine actully today asked if he could be on the birth certificate. He was adobted and he said he feels bad that the father is being such a loser and said he wants my baby to have a daddy, he said the money isn't an issue for him which is true for him. It is for me. I barely make ends meet right now and the cost of the baby is scaring me. Anyways advice for KATARINA here it goes...I know this to be true because the guy that wants to be the father is a family lawyer...if you get a good lawyer...you will get sole cusdody as far as decicision making. The father will have to pay you at least $300 a month if not way more. If the father doesn't have a job, you can have the government give you the money and they would put a lean on your bf and when he finally does get a job his wages will be garnished. But if he wants to see the baby he can get granted visitation rights. The least amount he would be allowed would be every other saturday or sunday for 4 hours. If you prove that he is not responisble or make him take a drug test then he won't be able to see the child at all except for suprivised. The most he would get is twice a week for an afternoon, plus every other weekend. So your choice is, get money from him but if you do that you tie yourself to him for the next 18 years at least, or put father unknown and get child support from the government. I know that its bad to do that...but that is what public a__sistants is for. For those of us that made mistakes.

PUBLIC ASSISTANCE IS NOT FOR PEOPLE "WHO MADE MISTAKES." How dare you say so...Yikes girl! Good luck anyway

Liar, so you would rather have tax payers pay for "your mistake" than the guy who caused it--or at least 50% of it--?!? Public a__sistance won't last long if its' recipients lie in order to get it. You should stand up to the plate and MAKE the father responsible financially. If in the eyes of the court he is deemed a decent enough person and grants him some sort of visitation, then he DESERVES that. But sucking off the government because you have a personal vendetta against your ex doesn't sound hororable to me. You make a very one sided selfish decision. If he is not a physical or emotional threat to your child, and "losers" are usually not, they are just "losers", then how will explain to your child your judgemental holier than thou att_tude you have towards his/her father. And yes, I DO speak from experience. Think about it, who are you really "doing this favor for"...?

Lier, I don't know if you meant you were planning on getting help from the state or not, but be carefull. I think you would eventually have to pay that back. I am not familiar with all of that. I am lucky enough to be in a situation where I have a career that pays very well. So, thats why it was very easy for me to decide to leave the father out of the picture. I don't need support from him or the state.

lunamoo - if you would have read some of liers other posts (here and on other threads), you would have realized that YES, the father is more than just a "loser". He does seem to be a physical or emotional threat to her child. So maybe you could take back some of your harshness towards her?

I think in most states, to get public a__sistance, you are required to give info about the father, or else you get denied. At least it's that way in WA and ID. My SIL was denied medical a__sistance for her pregnancy because she would not give info on the father of her oldest child.

I am not getting money of the government. I have a great job, and daycare on site at my job. I know of another girl who actully sadly didn't know who the father was and needed extra help, and recieved it. I live in the lovely state of CA, And yes I think that public a__sistance is out there for those that really need it. Whether you are a single mom because the father is a loser who left you. Or you are both strugling parents. What gets my goat is girls who PURPOSELY get pregnant to stay on WellFare longer. But public a__sistance is there for those who need help And if Katarina or anyother girl who accidently got pregant needs that a__sistance then I say go for it. As for my loser ex...ever heard of the saying you can't get blood from a turnup. HE HAS NEVER HAD A JOB AND I DON"T THINK EVER WILL!!! So YEAH I GET THE LOSER AWARD!!!

ahh chikk... im with you all the way on this one... i have 2 lil boys... from a previous relationship... 3 & 5, their dad still bothers & helps out with them... im only 25 & im pregnant (ouch RIGHT) but im pregnant by the biggest loser that ever walked the face of this earth, im almost sure of it, he completely denies my baby, says i slept with all these ppl... threatens me... so i say why bother to lettin on that i even know who the daddy is... ima just say idk... & go on about my life... act like i made this baby on my own... & just disappear forever from his life... he dont want nuttin to do with this baby but still wants to remain somewhat friends... prolly for the benefits thing... which would NEVER inna million yrs happen but yeaa... just hurts to know my two boys have a daddy & this baby... will have well... ME! anyways... good luck on ur venture... & hopefully, no matter the choice u make, things go right for you! **& for ALL the other JUDGEMENTAL ppl on this site... this guy was DECENT once upon a time... & then TOTALLY proved me WRONG... sometimes ppl make wrong decisions & have to suffer the consequences from the choices they've made... no one is perfect & believe u me.. ive learnt my lesson... the hard way but none the less learnt it...**