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im sooooooooo mad! Mostly at myself, dont really have any1 to talk to so thats y im posting here. im 20 yrs. old and I was with my boyfriend on and off for about 4 years, im pregnant with his child, im due this saturday, and well yea we've had our ups and downs but lately he had been getting calls on his cell phone, and me being suspicious i would ask to see his phone because when he would get calls he would leave the room and so he'd tell me no and to respect his privacy. Well either way when he'd leave the room i would check his phone and already he would erase the calls so that makes me think hes talking to some other woman. Well last week, he called me and asked me if i was around his way, u know if i was around his house earlier, and i was like no, y? Hes like o cuz i thought i saw u and i was like umm okay, but he just kept asking me if i was sure i wasnt by his house, so that made me think he thought he saw me around his house when he was doing something he wasnt suppose to so i asked him "Are u cheating on me or something?" and he got all defensive and instead of answering me hes like "Are u?" Im like WTF im like 9 months pregnant how are u gonna ask me if im cheating on u, and so i was like answer my question, and he said no after a long time. So thats when i hung up, i was soo upset cuz in my heart i felt he was lying and so i didnt want to talk to him and so i emailed him saying if he is cheating on me to just tell me or end things with me instead of doing it behind my back, and how could he do this to me after everything ive done for him, and that its all GOOD cuz what goes around comes around. He replied saying he cant be with me cuz he doesnt trust me and that i always turn things around to make myself look like the victim and so he cant be with me no more. This was last wednesday. I know i should just forget about him but our baby is about to be born. I had a docs appt yesterday and thought he would atleast call or write to me asking me hows the baby, but he didnt, and sooo im just soo upset, i feel like callin him and just acting like nothing happend and go on with our relationship but then again dont want to cuz i dont want him to think its okay to do this to me. Im mad at myself cuz there had been times before where i should have left him but didnt and if i had left him before i wouldnt have been in the situation i am right now.
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Be strong girl. This man let you down. It hurts like hell. If he's acting this way, if he's treating you this way--accusing you of cheating you need to leave. Don't call him. Ignore him. My mom always told me that's the best way to handle a guy who's not respecting you, and I always thought it didn't make any sense because our natural tendency as a women is to try and make everything right...to talk things through etc. He's acting this way he doesn't DESERVE to be with you, he doesn't DESERVE to be a farther. GET MAD...throw things, cry your heart out...but don't talk to him. Is there anyone you can turn to, your mom, a friend? I'm 21 years old, and 8 months pregnant and I've been through a similar experience. The only thing that's important right now is YOU--you're doing an incredible thing--and this baby. Tell yourself how wonderful you are. I wish I could chat with you and hug you and tell you everything will be okay, because it will be--better that he showed this side now then when the babe is born. I wish you the best for the rest of the pregnancy and the labour. Try to focus on the beautiful thing going on with you, not his BS. Be strong girly!!
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WOW! After reading that, I questioned myself as to whether or not I posted this, possibly in my sleep?!?! You're going through the EXACT same thing I am, right from the suspicious phone calls to the false accusations. I really, really feel for you, as I know exactly how frustrating and hurful this is. I would like to say "Be Strong" but I can't even seem to be strong myself. The good thing about your situation is that you pull yourself together and got the strength to leave the guy, I haven't. I don't know why I still believe my bf lies, when I know they are lies. I want to hit myself over the head for accepting them as truths, I guess that's part of true denile. Everytime I bring up the question of him cheating on me, the only response I get back is "Oh God! Stop creating something out of nothing" I hate that, because I know I'm not "creating" anything!! But he's sooo good at turning the tables and making me look like the a__s.
Anyways...I wish you and I could talk, seems as though we have a lot in common (in the relationship department) I hate talking to my friends about stuff like this because it's so easy for them to say "LEAVE HIM ALREADY!" and when I don't, I get that "I told you so" smile. That doesn't help and it makes me feel like a lost cause.
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Upset, how is everything going now?
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Hey "upset" I totally understand what you're going through and how you're feeling. I wonder if we're dating the same guy (Just kidding) My guy is the same way. He doesn't like me creeping by his place or coming over without an invite. I understand that people don't like unexpected visitors, but there's something awkward about his reasons that makes me feel as though he's afraid that one day I'll catch him with another woman at his place. Mind you, I did once, but he's so good with his cover-ups. Why I believe him? I don't know and to be honest, I don't believe him, I only make myself do so. People ask me why i put myself through this and I really don't have an answer other than "I really love him" Another thing that you and I have in common are the suspicious phone calls. My guy also leaves the room to talk on his phone, or sometimes he won't answer his phone when I'm around. It makes me wonder if he's got something to hide, and also, he doesn't want to answer his phone when I'm there because it's the other woman calling. Sometimes I wonder if he does the same thing to me when he's with her? That breaks my heart. Needless to say, I'm 4 months pregnant and I can't understand why he's doing what he's doing, behind my back. He says he loves me and he says I'm the only one, but i don't believe that for a second. I really want to leave him because I feel hurt more than I feel happy, and I'm sick and tired of his lies, but I can't seem to find it in me to do so. I don't know how to. I know this is a sad excuse, but my love for him is so strong that I want to be with him, BUT I want him to be with only me. I loved him the best I could, I just wish he could love me the same. *sigh*
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